Nuts & Goobers

Ted (Some People Call Me a Gun Nut, but Mostly I’m Just Nuts) Nugent had lunch with his buddy Texas Governor candidate Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott over the weekend. Little Teddy, better known as  Nuge the Stooge said that Greggy Poo was his “Blood Brother”.  I really don’t know what that means. Are they in a gang together? Maybe he meant Bigot Brother or Bonehead Brother. Oh I know, Butthole Brother. Now that would make sense.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Am Beyond Dumb, I'm Just Plain Stupid) Gohmert may possibly be the dumbest person ever elected to Congress.  Now when you think how many dumbasses there are in Washington, this is quite a statement.  His latest theory of Benghazi is that the C.I.A knows what really happened, but the folks in the White House have scared them into not talking. Looney Louie also believes that the moon is made of cheese and the earth is flat. 

Here are a couple of names you need to remember:  Texas State House Representative  Jonathan (I May Be Over Weight, but I’m Never Overwrought) Strickland and a TeaNut named Martha (I Have the I.Q of a Turnip) McCombs. Johnny Boy claims to be an oil & gas consultant though he has no experience and didn’t even graduate from high school.  Martha is an activist who works for Johnny Boy and other TeaNut candidates. Here is Martha’s twitter profile: A TRUE Conservative TX Mom & Patriot Activist LUVS Jesus, Family, Guns, Military, Boots & Jeans, My horses, Politics & my friends! FREEDOM! DON’T TREAD ON ME!!

Here is the good part; the anti-women, anti-science, anti-education, pro-life, pro-death penalty, full-tilt NRA Republican Party wants nothing to do with these two boneheads.  When you are too wacked for the TeaNut party to handle, look out.

TeaNut blowhard and Faux News commentator Ben (I Don’t Have a Clue to What I am Saying, but I Love Hearing Myself Say It) Carson was mouthing off about the domestic violence problems of NFL star Ray (See What You Made Me Do) Rice. He said, “Rather than just jumping on an impunitive bandwagon of criticism, let's see if we can get some help for these people."  Of course if ole Ray was just a poor black man needing food stamps or unemployment assistance, Ben would be shouting from the other side of his mouth about what lazy moocher he was. 

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Stay tuned for future adventures.