News From the Whine Country.

The Pew Foundation has just released a report that says white evangelical Christians feel that they are the most persecuted people in America and at the Values Voter Summit in Washington this past weekend a straw poll of the 2000 attendees said that religious freedom was their number one priority.  What a load of crap. We have more religious freedom than any country on the planet. What they want is the freedom for THEIR religion to be the ONLY religion.

They already have two national holidays and are trying to take over another one. They are doing everything that they can to take over Halloween.  They want to call it the Harvest Festival or the Fall Festival.   I just read an article where they are pushing to have people carve the face of Jesus in their pumpkins. It’s Halloween, you know, spooks, goblins and scary stuff.  I guess the Holy Ghost would work if anyone knew what the Holy Ghost looked like.

There is a church on every corner and they get to spew bullshit on the radio and TV all they want. Don’t get me wrong, they have every right to spew their bullshit, but I have every right not to listen. Every time we turn  around they insist that God or Jesus be involved in everything we do from our education system to the government. I for one will be greatly thankful when the rapture gets here and these boneheads will be gone.  

Here is a fine example of evangelical Christian thinking. Christian radio host Rick (I Am Not a Scientist or a Doctor, but I am a Moron) Wiles said on his broadcast last week that Ebola is probably a good thing because it would cleanse the world of gay people, atheists and sluts. Wow Ebola doesn’t kill Christians.  I guess only lions do.

And here are a couple of typical quotes from a pair of pompous, self-righteous, self-proclaimed spokesmen for God:

 “Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.” ~ Jerry Falwell

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson

Stay tuned for future adventures.
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Some Things That Went Through My Brain and Came Out My Computer.

Today is National Native American Day.  It is a day set aside to honor and celebrate the American Indian. Wow, a whole day.  Let’s see, we give Black History a whole month, of course it is the shortest month of the year. But hey, the Native Americans have been getting the short end of the stick ever since the Mayflower landed in 1620 and the first Indian said, “Well there goes the neighborhood.”

I understand Dan (I’m Not a Racist, I’m Just an Asshole) Snyder, owner of the NFL’s Washington Racial Slurs, plans on staying home and mourning the death of General George (This Ought to be Easy) Custer.

Speaking of football. Here is question that has been rolling around in my tiny little brain for the past couple of days. Why is the NFL (Numerous Felons League) a tax exempt non-profit organization?  They take in millions of dollars every year, especially from their licensing and royalties. According to the latest report the league brought in 326 million dollars in 2012. Roger ( I Never Watch Videos') Goodell, their commissioner warden , is not a public servant. The NFL is not a public trust; it is a collection of private businesses. It has no shareholders or elected officials.  Roger was paid a salary of 44 million dollars last year.  I would think that is quite a bit more than any of the players received for their service and all Roger has to do is butt heads with is the media.

Tulsa OK, county tax assessor Ken (Yahoo) Yazel thinks that public hangings should be brought back as a crime deterrent.   Ken said, “You hang them in the public square. Then they won’t do it again. Neither will some of their friends watching.” I always thought that that the Ok stood for Oklahoma but after hearing really hateful, ignorant crap like this over and over from many of the boneheads in public office up there, it is obvious that OK stands for Odious Kooks.

I think maybe Republican President Theodore (Bull Moose) Roosevelt must have been able to see into the future. Here is something he said in 1901. . "All contributions by corporations to any political committee or for any political purpose should be forbidden by law."  As opposed to members of today’s Republican Party who can’t seem to see past their arrogant upheld noses.  Of course when you spend all day kissing corporate asses, it is hard to see much of anything.

An error by the Republican Governors Association recently resulted in the release of some documents that they really didn’t want to be public. The documents showed that many of America’s most prominent companies from Aetna to Walmart had contributed millions of dollars into the campaigns of Republican governors. Gee how shocking. America's corporate world giving money to the TeaNut Republicans.



Stay tuned for future adventures

Mid-Week Blahs

I understand that Omar (Speedy) Gonzalez, the fence jumper up in Washington D.C., will go in the history books as the first Hispanic to make it into the White House.

Kansas Senaterrible Pat (I Haven’t Got a Clue) Roberts’s campaign for re-election is in trouble so the GOP (Group of Pinheads) is bringing in these pinheads to save the day. Sarah (Half-Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin, Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry, John (Civil War Veteran) McCain, Bob (Two Days Older Than Dirt) Dole. Talk about throwing a drowning man an anchor.  I believe Dorothy and Toto would have a better chance of pulling Roberts’s dumbass out of the mud than these boneheads.

Picture of the week.

 I am pretty sure this woman is not indicating that Rick is number one in her books.

BREAKING NEWS.  This just in:
There is a new terrorist group that is even worse than ISIS and it’s the Kardashians. Man I knew these people were bad news the first time I ever saw them. You can tell they are just evil and bent on taking over the world. Oh wait…My bad, it’s the Khorasans.  Never mind.

Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Lone Star Slime Machine

Conservatives in Texas are moving to veto the new AP History course.  They are following the Republican National Committee’s lead of last month where they believe the program depicts American colonists as “oppressors and exploiters while ignoring the dreamers and innovators who built our country,”  I guess our early “Ethnic cleansing of Native Americans and slavery of black people just doesn’t look good on our resume. . You know it’s sorta like the way they have edited the Bible 175 times so it will only contain the parts they like..    

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Have Moved Beyond Dumb) Gohmert is claiming that the C.I.A is training ISIS terrorist. This is so stupid that even I don’t have witty response.

I do believe that Looney Louie must be getting down to the end of his New Years Resolutions list of Incredibly Stupid Things to say to the Press.

Texas Attorney General Gregg ( Hell On Wheels) Abbott says he has been feeling a little wimpy lately because he hasn’t sued President Obama in a while. So today he announced that he is gong to sue the President for the border crisis. You do remember the horrible border crisis that was going to end the world. The one that is no longer mentioned in the media.

If I remember correctly, ole Greggy Poo ran for Attorney General on the campaign slogan that he would stop frivolous lawsuits.  This is just another example of that selective amnesia that seems to plague the Republican Party.

I can’t quite wrap my head around the ads running on TV looking for people to join a class action lawsuit against the makers of Low Testosterone drugs.  I figured those folks didn’t have the balls to bring a lawsuit.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

TGIF

Congress finally agreed on something.  They decided that the vacation that they just returned from was not long enough so they voted to take another eight weeks off and left town.  Apparently they believe in old adage, “When the going gets tough, the tough go home.”

TV evangelist Pat (I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson of the 700 Club (that’s their total number of viewers) is just beside himself that the Air Force has decided to drop the phrase “So help me God” from their oath. Evidently Pat believes that if you don’t have God for a co-pilot, the plane will fall out of the sky like a lead balloon. I understand the Air Force is replacing the phrase with “so help me aerodynamics.”

 

The NFL (Numerous Felons League) is still the hot topic in scandal news.  A report shows that 57 players have been arrested on domestic violence charges while Roger (MoneyBall) Goodell has been commissioner. The 32 owners say they back Roger a hundred percent but are thinking about changing his title from commissioner to warden.

 

Another responsible gun owner has made the news.  A man in Florida was showing his sister at her birthday party how he could twirl his gun when he dropped it. It went off and shot his sister in the neck killing her deader than Elvis.  The police have not charged him. They said being extremely stupid is not against the law.    

 

Senaterrible Lindsay (I Want My Mommie….Oh, and Another Mint Julep) Graham is positive that those ISIS boneheads are going to come over here and kill us all.  Let’s just see how they rate against the US of A.

USA.                                                                                      ISIS

Army….Yes                                                                           Army…None

Navy….Yes                                                                            Navy…None

Air Force…Yes                                                                       Air Force…None

Total USA Military  1,369,532                                             Total number of boneheads                     

                                                                                               With guns and swords to cut  

                                                                                               People’s heads off.

                                                                                               30,000

Don’t get me wrong.  ISIS members are a bunch of deranged, twisted assholes who will kill people and they all need to be put away, but there is no way they can take over the world.  Ebola is way more scary than ISIS.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day

Number one hump of the week:

Arizona GOP Vice-Chairman Russell (I’m Meaner than a Junk Yard Dog and Just as Dumb) Pearce said this last week on his radio show.  "You put me in charge of Medicaid, the first thing I'd do is get Norplant, birth-control implants, or tubal ligations," and went on to say, "Then we'll test recipients for drugs and alcohol, and if you want to reproduce or use drugs or alcohol, then get a job."  

That was on Friday and Sunday he resigned saying that someone else wrote those comments and he just repeated them without giving the author credit.  I don’t care if they didn’t come out of ole Russel;’s brain, they sure as hell came out of his mouth.  In fact I am pretty sure this asshole has never had an original thought in his entire life. That may be the lamest excuse since the first bonehead who uttered, “The dog ate my homework.” 

Second Place:

Midland county sheriff, Gary (I Have the Same IQ as Quick Draw McGraw) Painter went on TV and said he had been hearing rumors about ISIS terrorist coming across the Mexican border. He reported that folks have found Muslim clothing along the roadside. Exactly how do you tell that it is Muslim clothing?  Does the label on the inside say Ahmed Abdi Armani or Mukhatr Abu Klien.   He went on to say, “if they show their ugly head in our area, we’ll send them to hell.”  Well Gary, that ain’t far. After all, you are already in Midland, Texas

Runners Up:

Senaterribles John (Civil War Veteran) McCain and Lindsay (We’re All Going to be Killed) Graham, Ted (Would Some One Please Listen to Me) Cruz and Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott just because they are John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Ted Cruz, and Gregg Abbott.   

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

War: What Is It Good For? Follow the Money

I really don’t understand the fascination the war hawk Republicans have about war.  If you take a close look at history, we haven’t won a war since World War II.  We didn’t win the Korean war ( I know, they didn’t even call this one a war. We called it a conflict, but I would be willing to bet that the folks who served over there definitely called it a war) or Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan wars, not to mention the War on Drugs and the War on Poverty.  

And before you start saying what about 9/11 where we were attacked?  Yes we were, but not by a country.  We were attacked by 18 asshole criminals who belonged to a criminal organization and it should have been treated as such.

Maybe the war hawks have a secret agenda.  Could it be that they are bought and paid for by the defense contractors in this country? Take a look at the budget for our military spending. We spend more on the military than the next eight countries combined.   We spent 640 billion dollars on defense spending last year. China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, France, United Kingdom, Germany, Japan and India spent a total of 607 billion combined.

Not only that, we arm most of the world.  Overseas weapons sales by the United States totaled $66.3 billion last year, or more than three-quarters of the global arms market, valued at $85.3 billion in 2011. Russia was a distant second, with $4.8 billion in deals. 

I guess war is good for some people.

I still think Edwin Starr says it best.

Once again, another great post from Ida Claire.

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

GOP: Gang of Prevaricators

 L.A. has the Bloods & Crips.  New York has The Latin Kings.  Washington D.C. has the Republicans.

Texas Senaterrible and former ambulance chaser Ted (Look At Me: Please Somebody Pay Attention To Me) Cruz is off his meds again.  Someone showed little Teddy how to get down on the Senate floor so he decided to give  a speech rant about how the Citizens United Amendment that is being proposed by the Democrats would somehow criminalize shows like Saturday Night Live doing political satire.  Wow, Saturday Night Live death panels. If that were the case I would think that little Teddy is in big trouble because he is a absolute walking talking parody.  Oh by the way, little Teddy was asked to speak at the Middle East Christians fundraiser this past week and was booed off the stage. I guess his act didn’t play to well to those folks.

Seems there was a snowmobile party (whatever that is) going on up in Anchorage Alaska last Saturday night when a drunken brawl broke out and the police were called.  When the boys in blue arrived they were greeted by none other than Sarah (Half-Assed Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin.  The story is that Palin’s brood was there and right in the middle of the fight.  According to reports, Miss I Read Every Magazine and Newspaper in the Word was yelling “do you know who I am?” As I understand it, they knew exactly who she was and were very unimpressed.  

Once again that malady, selective amnesia, has reared its ugly head in many of the Republican boneheads.  They are all over media blaming Obama for the ISIS crisis because he pulled the troops out of Iraq.  Funny how they just can’t seem to remember it was George Warmonger Bush who signed the agreement to pull our troops out. I am really surprised they haven’t brought up that it was Obama’s fault that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. I mean after all the man was raised in Hawaii. 

The Republicans are worried about how they are doing in the up coming mid-term elections so they are bringing in Dick ( I Really Am A Dick) Cheney to give the House Republicans a pep talk. That’s like making the town arsonist the fire chief.  I’m sure he will give tips on how to get more publicity, like shooting your friend in the face with a shotgun

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Nuts & Goobers

Ted (Some People Call Me a Gun Nut, but Mostly I’m Just Nuts) Nugent had lunch with his buddy Texas Governor candidate Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott over the weekend. Little Teddy, better known as  Nuge the Stooge said that Greggy Poo was his “Blood Brother”.  I really don’t know what that means. Are they in a gang together? Maybe he meant Bigot Brother or Bonehead Brother. Oh I know, Butthole Brother. Now that would make sense.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Am Beyond Dumb, I'm Just Plain Stupid) Gohmert may possibly be the dumbest person ever elected to Congress.  Now when you think how many dumbasses there are in Washington, this is quite a statement.  His latest theory of Benghazi is that the C.I.A knows what really happened, but the folks in the White House have scared them into not talking. Looney Louie also believes that the moon is made of cheese and the earth is flat. 

Here are a couple of names you need to remember:  Texas State House Representative  Jonathan (I May Be Over Weight, but I’m Never Overwrought) Strickland and a TeaNut named Martha (I Have the I.Q of a Turnip) McCombs. Johnny Boy claims to be an oil & gas consultant though he has no experience and didn’t even graduate from high school.  Martha is an activist who works for Johnny Boy and other TeaNut candidates. Here is Martha’s twitter profile: A TRUE Conservative TX Mom & Patriot Activist LUVS Jesus, Family, Guns, Military, Boots & Jeans, My horses, Politics & my friends! FREEDOM! DON’T TREAD ON ME!!

Here is the good part; the anti-women, anti-science, anti-education, pro-life, pro-death penalty, full-tilt NRA Republican Party wants nothing to do with these two boneheads.  When you are too wacked for the TeaNut party to handle, look out.

TeaNut blowhard and Faux News commentator Ben (I Don’t Have a Clue to What I am Saying, but I Love Hearing Myself Say It) Carson was mouthing off about the domestic violence problems of NFL star Ray (See What You Made Me Do) Rice. He said, “Rather than just jumping on an impunitive bandwagon of criticism, let's see if we can get some help for these people."  Of course if ole Ray was just a poor black man needing food stamps or unemployment assistance, Ben would be shouting from the other side of his mouth about what lazy moocher he was. 

And for a great read, check out Ida Clare

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Here is a picture of my neighbors.  I think they are Republicans because all I ever hear them say is Naaaay.

 

Today is National Be Late For Something Day.  I’m not sure what this day is about but here are few names that celebrate this day every year. The late Elvis Presley, the late Marilyn Monroe, the late Micheal Jackson, the late Mel Gibson, (I know he is still alive but his career is deader than Elvis)    

 

Hey look, unemployment is up. Former House majority leader Eric (I Work For The People…..Who Pay Me The Most) Cantor, the Go to Guy of Wall Street who lost his job in the spring to a complete unknown, just got a big paying job on Wall Street. Wow, I sure didn’t see that one coming.  

A couple of other former Washington  boneheads have moved into the private sector. Republican Trent ( I Have Some Integrity but Not A) Lott and Democrat John ( Of Course I'm A Crook,I’m From Louisiana, ) Breaux are now lobbying for a Russian bank  To date, more than 300 members of Congress have become lobbyists, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. This means that being a Congressman or Senator is no longer considered public service. It is now an entry level position into big business. 

 

The National Republican Congressional Committee is out with a new ad in Arizona, painting Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick as nothing more than a pair of legs in high heels. Evidently the ad was made by the agency where the Mad Men work.

 

Richard (I Really Am A) Fink, vice-president of Koch Industries told a gathering of conservatives at a conference called “American Courage: Our Commitment to a Free Society” that people who felt like victims lost meaning in life and turned to totalitarian political ideologies. Raising the minimum wage, he claimed, would cause people to lose their jobs and lose their meaning in life, giving fascism a fertile ground to grow in.  He said 500,000 people that will not have a job because of minimum wage, because there is no such thing as a dead end job. This doesn’t make sense on any level. What a asshole.

So rather than pay a higher wage, companies will just fire the workers? I don’t think so. The lost productivity would be way more than the money saved on cutting the payroll.  The majority of minimum wage workers work for big corporations.  These corporations are making killer profits and they will simply pass the cost on to the customer. 

 

A new study out from a Princeton economist and two colleagues say more religious countries show less scientific innovation. In other words.

 

Stay tuned for more adventures.

It's Another Hump Day

This week’s humps.

Faux News decided they needed a real expert on Islam so they invited Duck Dick Head Phil (Either Convert Them or Kill Them) Robertson to spew nonsense on the TV.  That’s like having a heart attack and calling your plumber.

Rafael (Rhymes with My Friend, Fidel) Cruz , little Teddy (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz’s dad went on the TV and said, “the average black person does not know that the minimum wage is bad.”  As I have said before, the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I think maybe Rafael is angling toward Time Magazine’s “Moron of the Year.”

Are you sleeping better at night now that Congress is back in session after their month long recess? I don’t know why these boneheads even come back. We know they are not going to do anything. They haven’t yet, so why start now.

Another thing I have been pondering is why is the cost of education so high?  I don’t see colleges building any new buildings and when they do it is because some wealthy alma mater has given them eighty zillion dollars to put his or her name on the front.  With exception of a few, they sure as hell aren’t paying huge salaries to the professors.

We talk about the student loan situation but I have not heard one word on why the cost of education is so high.  So what’s that about and where is all of that money going? My personal opinion is that it is just part of the ever expanding education scam.  A college degree cost more and you get less every year. Now days you get a college degree just so folks will know what kind of job it is that you are out of work from. (How’s that for a terrible sentence? My English teacher is rolling over in her grave)

Our education system seems to be very much like our health care system.  We pay more than most other countries and we get less.  You would think the boneheads in Congress would want to turn that around, but they are more interested in having another useless Benghazi hearing.

 

Two more red states, Pennsylvania and Tennessee has decided that ObamaCare is okay after all.  It seems the only thing wrong with ObamaCare is the name. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures.