All You Need Is
Tuesday was Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin’s 50th birthday. Sarah is still trying to make up her mind about how to celebrate the occasion.
Shooting a moose
Shooting pool
Or shooting off her mouth.
Michael (I'm Gay and I Can Knock Your Ass Off) Sam, the defensive end from Missouri, has really upset the applecart in football by declaring to the world that he is gay. Funny thing is I haven’t heard one word from other football players but the sportscasters of the world are just beside themselves. Sportscasters evidently work under the same contract that governs Fox News reporters. That is: continually exploiting controversy at all cost. When there is none, make shit up.
I think the main reason all of this is going on is that Michael broke the unwritten rule of sports that one should always pretend he is not gay and we will pretend that we don’t know.
Of course the homophobes are coming out of the woodwork. I have always found it amazing how most of the homophobic assholes I’ve ever known generally spend 99% of their time with other men and most of the talk is running down women. I guess all this talk about homosexuality opens their closet door slightly and lets in a little light that shines a little too close to home.
This comes under the heading The Emperor Wears No Clothes. Richard (I May Be Fast on the Track, But My Brain’s in Neutral) Petty, the so called King of NASCAR, took his foot off of the accelerator and stuck it in his mouth this week when he said that he didn’t think Danica (Hell Yes I’m a Fast Woman) Patrick could win a race even if she was the only car on the track. Too bad ole King Richard can’t run his mouth as well as he did a race car.
Stay tuned for future adventures
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