Friday Flakes

Wisconsin Governor Scott (I Need A) Walker who acts like he wants to be President had this to say about foreign policy this week. "The best president in my lifetime when it comes to foreign affairs was a guy who was governor of California”. He was speaking about this guy of course.

I guess Scott thinks that we shouldn’t negotiate with Iran, we should SELL them weapons

Poor little Senterrible of Kentucky, Rand (My Mother Invented Fish Sticks) Paul is having another hissy fit because those gun nuts over at the NRA (Nutty Rabid Assholes) didn’t invite him to their little get together this weekend.  Word is that he doesn’t have near big enough gun. Personally I think he is mad because he won’t get to hang out with this guy.

Possible TeaNut Republican candidate for President and nutjobsurgeon Dr. Ben (I Prefer to Be Called Kit) Carson thinks that “selfies” are bringing down America.  Yes sir, that’s the kind of stuff you want the President of the United States dealing with. I'm telling ya, this guy is out to make Herman (999) Cain look like a genius. 

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Arkansas Senterrible Tehran Tom (My Brain Is Made Of) Cotton said that we should bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities. He went on to say that it wouldn’t take but a few days to do the job and wouldn’t be anything like Iraq. Well he is right about one thing; it wouldn’t be anything like Iraq.  It would be at least ten times worse.  What a complete bonehead.

Remember. If you love war. Vote Republican.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Bubbles From My Soap Box

Once Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz threw his beanie with the propeller on top into the ring to run for President, the comparisons to Sarah (Half Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin began springing up all over the internet.  I have to say I don’t think there is any comparison.  

Mrs. Palin is an absolute moron.  This bimbo has never had an original thought in her entire life. Bonehead Sarah is nothing but a low life celebrity, right down there with Duck Dynasty and The Kardashians.  On the other hand, little Teddy is a narrow-minded, egotistical, misogynistic, homophobic asshole and pathological liar, but is not stupid.   This guy doesn’t have a chance to get elected, if fact I doubt if he can win his party’s nomination, but he is positioning himself to rake in a lot of money and be a major disruption to this country very much like former Senator Joseph (If My Lips Are Moving, I’m Lying) McCarthy.  The only thing stupid about Teddy Poo is his supporters.

Arizona Senaterrible John (Civil War Veteran) McCain has announced he is running for re-election.  Ole, Old John says he is ready to climb back in the cockpit and bomb Iran.  Bomb is also the name of John’s foreign policy plan.  I understand his campaign slogan is “If you love War. Vote Republican.”

 Here is a first. A policeman shoots an unarmed man and is arrested for murder in Charleston, North Carolina. Surely that is a typo. They probably meant acquitted for murder. The latest surveys show that there are between 300 and 310 million guns in America today and that is with a population of around 320 million people.  Doesn’t it seem odd that most of the police shootings are with UNARMED people?  The NRA is always harping on having a gun for protection.  I guess they mean protection from the Police.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Monday Quickie

Once again another responsible gun owner has fired a stray bullet for ignorance.  A bonehead attending Cathedral of The Blessed Sacrament in Altoona, Pennsylvania on Easter Sunday fired off a shot during the service.  I thought maybe he was firing off a shot for Jesus’s return, you know how a lot of gun owners like to fire their guns up in the air showing how happy they are to celebrate the 2^nd Amendment, but no it went off accidentally.

In the first place why did this asshole think he needed to have his gun in church?  Plus it was Easter Sunday, this bonehead could have killed Jesus. Was there some intel going on about the Devil being there to confront Jesus? And if not why didn’t he have the gun on safety?  
I also understand after this incident that the city council of Altoona is considering renaming the town Looneytoona Pennsylvania.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Good Friday, Kick Ass Saturday, Boring Sunday

Beulah is just down the road from my house. Personally I don’t think my sex life is any of their business.  

To celebrate Good Friday I understand the Catholic Church is having a two for one deal on confessions.  If you bring a friend, you both get a “Get out of Hell Free” card from Jesus.

Bill (America’s Biggest Bully) O’Reilly is upset at those mean ole movie critics who gave bad reviews of the movie “Killing Jesus” which was based on Bill’s ghostwriter’s book.  They didn’t like the part where little Billy wrote himself in to the screenplay as one of the disciples who was right outside of Jesus’s house when they came and took him away.  Also he claimed to have saved his cameraman from the riotous crowd who was crucifying Jesus.  
   

A number of folks will be commemorating the Original Zombie this weekend.  The “He has risen” signs are all over the place.

As always at this time of year there will be lots of folks pondering that age old question. .  Which came first, the egg or the Easter Bunny?

To the boneheads running Indiana, Arkansas and the other states trying to push through a “Christianity is the only religion” law disguised as a “Religious Freedom” law I leave this quote.  "The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."
--John Adams
    

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Back To Civilization

We are back.  Nine days of sleeping late, reading books, looking at the water and then repeating the whole process. What a surprise to get back home and find that absolutely nothing happened while we were gone.

I fully expected Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz to be stupid enough to throw his beanie in the ring for President. I was sure that Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Stupid As I Look) Gohmert would go on Republican TV (Faux News) and say that we should immediately bomb Iran and that TeaNut Governor of Indiana, Mike (I Really Should Be On Duck Dynasty) Pence would make the political blunder of the year and sign the controversial “Religious Freedom” bill.  

Well, I have to go now and turn on the TV, internet and phone for the first time in nine days.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Brand New Spring

Spring has sprung,

So we are going to hit the road for some fun.

Talk to ya when we get back.

I’m sure there will be plenty of stupid political stuff to attack.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrarump Day

There are plenty of humps to go around today. Donald (Everyday Is A Bad Hair Day) Trump had this to say today. ”I am the only one who can make America truly great again!”  Wait a minute Donny, aren’t you the one that’s always running around saying how great America is.  Of course when you consider that America is ranked 36^th in the world in education and 27^th in health care, we aren’t looking so hot.

So little Donny has launched an exploratory committee to see how the waters are for a run at being King, er President. What the committee is going to find out before they even turn on their miners helmets is that a recent survey showed that 74% of Republicans wouldn’t vote for him. The Don is the only person I’ve ever seen who can truly be called “hair brained” and it be true.  

It seems that Prime Minster Benjamin (I Never Met An Arab I Liked) Netanyahu did learn something from the Republicans on his trip over here last week. He went on an 11^th hour rampage of fear-mongering rants that smacked of racism and pulled out a win in the election.   

Illinois Congressmoron Aaron (What, You Mean I Can’t Spend Taxpayers Money On Myself?) Schock resigned this week. Aaron told his constitutes that he was leaving Congress so he could spend more time with his family before he went to prison.   

Former Florida Governor Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush said in speech this week that he would eliminate minimum wage if he was elected. He said he knew for a fact that the private sector would be more than fair to their workers because he had given a number of speeches to these corporations and they had paid him over $3million dollars so far. He went on to say, hey if they are willing to pay me $50.000 a speech, imagine what they will pay someone who actually works there.  




Stay tuned for future adventures.