The Sky Is Falling

I have really had it with this religious freedom crap.  Most of you who read this little blog know that I am not a religious person.  I make no bones about it, but I also totally believe in everybody having the right to be as religious as they want to be. If a person wants to go to church seven days a week and read the bible 23 hours a day, I’m more than fine with it.

What has really pushed me to the limit is all of the whining, crying and moaning I hear about people losing religious freedom.  In the first place these crybabies could at least be honest and say that it’s their particular religion that they are so concerned about and we are talking Christianity here.  I am pretty sure they don’t give two cents about any other religion. 

  

Here is what I don’t understand about their claims of how they are so persecuted and their rights are being taken away.  I don’t see anybody nailing the doors shut on their churches or burning them down.  They are able to go on every TV & radio show in the country and spout their scripture and hate talk 24 hrs a day and I haven’t heard of one Christian being gagged, arrested and taken away for spewing their crap to anyone who would listen.

This country is not a Christian nation and never has been one no matter how wing-nut Christian wackos try to rewrite history to fit their beliefs.  As in how they have edited the Bible 175 times to fit their liking.  America is 360 million people who get to openly believe in hundreds of different religions.

Now I do believe there is a large, very loud group of pseudo-Christians here. They don’t go to church to worship, they go to look good.  They don’t read the Bible as they claim but simply cherry pick the parts they can use as an excuse to discriminate against their fellow human beings.

I also believe we made a step toward a theocracy last week when five men in long black robes, who obviously have taken the word “Supreme” in their title way too seriously, decided that religion trumped women’s health care.  I think their decision was really not that surprising when looking at some of their past rulings and considering how misogynistic most religions are. 

 

My first instinct when I started writing this little piece was to tell these pseudo-Christians where they could shove their signs about religious freedom, but what I really wish they would do is go home, get on their knees and pray to their God to give them some compassion, empathy, common sense and a whole lot of gratitude for getting to live in a country that has the most freedom of religion on the planet.

Happy Birthday USA

Whoopee it’s the fourth of July and I will be drinking firewater, shooting my mouth off and generally acting like a hot dog all day.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

HUMP Day

Humps of the week…possibly of the decade.

These five boneheads obviously were never were told about the birds and bees.  They have ruled that four contraceptives are somehow the same as getting an abortion.  It’s fairly plain and simple, in order to have an abortion one must be pregnant and for these boneheads who don’t know where babies come from, contraception’s prevent one from being pregnant.

And in case you didn't know it. The Constitution does not specify qualifications for Justices such as age, education, profession,or native-born citizenship. A Justice does not have to be a lawyer or law school graduate.  It is also obvious that they don't have to have compassion, empathy, or much common sense.  And these assholes are there for life. 

Even though I live in religious wacko east Texas, I am not a religious person, but the Hobby Lobby decision has converted me. I will now be getting down on my knees every night and praying that Michaels will build a store in Lufkin and put Hobby Lobby out of business. 

The Ku Klux Klan held a rally at Gettysburg National Military Park over the weekend.  They had ten members show up.  One klan protester shouted, "We are taking back this land."  To which I say, “Unless you are a Native American, shut the fuck up.”

The Texas State Boys State Government Training conference was held over the weekend.  It is being reported that photos and speeches which were degrading to women are showing up.  They held a mock county convention where one candidate stood up and simply said, “Cold beer and tities.”  Oh how nice.  A brand new crop of Rick(All Hair, No Integrity) Perrys, Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbotts and Dan (I Really Am Nuts) Patricks.

Surprisingly the Girls State conference, which is also sponsored by The American Legion, was held at the same time, but very different, more uh, let’s say mature. The girls discussed legalized same-sex marriage, passed legislation to address rape on college campuses, and debated raising the minimum wage.

Here is the real kicker. 30 State Senators and Representatives spoke at the boy’s conference but not a single member of the State legislature came to talk to the girls. When it comes to Texas politics, women are second class citizens.

  

Utah Republican Senaterrible Mike (I’m A Mormon and a Moron) Lee is perfectly fine with the government paying for boner pills but thinks that women who use contraceptives are basically sluts.  I think ole Mike probably has sex by himself a lot.

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 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Weekend Recap

The world’s First International Conference on Men’s Issues was held over the week-end. Dozens of misogyny minded, looser, dickheads showed up in St. Claire Shores Michigan to whine, “Look what you made me do.”  I believe this massive international get together was held in the conference room at the local Motel 6.

Michigan does seem like a good place for these boneheads to meet as I just read about a guy from Michigan who is running for the State’s legislature.  He has multiple felony convictions, mostly for breaking into cars and then masturbating.  I have heard of people who think cars are sexy, but this seems a little over the top. I will say it sounds like he is perfect for politics.  

The “Just Say No”House Republicans in Congress have decided that they actually want to pass some legislation instead of rejecting it.  They are pushing for tax breaks for wealthy individuals.  They say since they have already given tax breaks to big corporations, that it is time to take care of the people. People with lots of money that is.

Louisiana State Representative Lenar (I’m Not a Scientist, but I am a Moron) Whitney said in her latest campaign video that climate change is “the greatest deception in history of mankind.”  She said it can be disapproved by using a thermometer. I’m not sure how that works but she also said the earth is flat and you can tell that by looking out your door.

Barbie (I Have The Brains of a Doll) Rogers, founder of the Patriots Information Hotline, has said that a blockade is being formed in Laredo, Texas by militia and concerned citizens (people who hate Mexicans) to keep illegal immigrants out.  What I want to know is what does a NFL football team have to do with stopping illegal immigrants?  Oh I know, they are still pissed about Aaron Hernandez

Faux News pulled country has-been singer Larry (Will Rogers Never Met Me) Gatlin out of obscurity to rant about liberals. The only thing new we learned about Larry is that obviously his grandmother was moron also. Larry once again proved he was “A Total Asshole from El Paso.”  Actually Larry is from Midland, Texas but I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with Midland. .

The Supreme Court upheld Hobby Lobby’s motto, “barefoot, pregnant and work for minimum wage.”

A woman was shot in the leg at a gun show in Pennsylvania by a vender showing her how to use a concealed gun holster.  According to the Associated Press a “No Loaded Weapons” sign was posted at the entrance to the show.   I am pretty sure this proves that most hand gun owners can’t read. 

Stay tuned for future adventuires.

The Walking Dumb...Part 2

Politicians love attention and I think maybe New Jersey Governor Chris (I’m Not Overweight, I’m Overwrought) Christie may have hit the jackpot.  He is now the center of seven different investigations. 

 

House Whinner John (It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want Too) Boehner plans on suing President Obama because he thinks the Prez has abused his power of executive order.      Here's a list of executive orders used since little Ronnie (Bad Actor, Really Bad President) Reagan was in office.
Ronald Reagan: 381
George Bush: 166
William J. Clinton: 364
George W. Bush 291
Barack Obama 168

Bonehead Boehner obviously failed math in school.

 

The NRA (National Rabid Assholes) believes that obsessed wackos and wife beaters should have the right to own guns just like every other gun nut in the world.  You see there is proposed legislation that would prohibit people convicted of stalking and domestic violence from owning guns and they are against it.  After all, owning a gun is a God given right.  I believe it says so in Smith & Wesson, 38-45. Like Phil (Duck DickHead) Robertson says, if Jesus had had a gun, there wouldn’t be any of this crucifixion shit.

 

 I do have a couple of questions for the members of the NRA (Notoriously Ridiculous  Assholes). What well regulated militia are you a member of and when was the last time you had to take your precious gun and defend yourself from the United States Government?  Patriots of the Revolutionary War rebelled against a government of another country. Evidently gun nuts of today missed that section of American history.  Maybe home schooling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? 

 

Arizona school superintendent John ( I Am A Equal Opportunity Offender) Huppenthal has apologized for posting anonymous hurtful blog comments.  It appears that he has a long history of making offensive and often racist comments about the poor, Hispanics, Blacks, Planned Parenthood, and others.  I understand Arizona Governor Janice Kooky Brewer has really come down hard on ole John.  She made him write “I Will Not Be An Asshole Anymore’ a hundred times on the blackboard. 

 

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert was so pissed about all of the unaccompanied children coming across the Texas border that he had to go on the floor of the House and rant about it.

 Of course if these were fetuses, then he would down there welcoming them with open arms.

 

I haven’t watched any of the World Cup but I did hear about the player who bit another player and was kicked out.   I didn’t even know Mike (How Do You Like These Toothers) Tyson was playing soccer now.  

Speaking of the World Cup, Faux News faux psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablowhard is claiming the reason so many people in America are watching is because it is a conspiracy by President Obama to distract attention from him.  This so stupid it does even deserve one of my wise ass comments.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Mid-Week Blah Blahs

A church in Joplin, Missouri raffled off a couple of AR-15’s last week.  They said it was to get more people to follow Jesus. Hmm, I think I missed that part in Bible Brainwashing School about Jesus being a gun nut. Maybe he didn’t change water into wine after all, maybe he just held up a liquor store. 

 

Kate (Hear Me Roar) Kelly who founded the group Ordain Woman, which called for a bigger role for women in the Mormon Church, was excommunicated this week.  It seems the Mormons are pretty much like every other religion in the world and don’t want women to do much more than say “yes sir and what would you like for supper.” 

 

I was behind a man in line at the grocery store and he wrote a check.  As I stood there twiddling my thumbs I wondered if his home had a telephone with a rotary dial, television with an oval screen and a Corvair parked in the garage. 

 

School board members in Missouri said they believe armed guards in school would improve safety.  I have said this before but I will say it again, just combine prisons and schools. Plenty of armed guards and you know where the bad guys are at all times.

Here is an actual headline for you.  Bad Guys With Guns Hold Up Patrons Outside Gun Ranges, Take Their Guns

Need I say more?  Please feel free to add your own punch line. 

 

And another responsible gun owner in North Carolina shot himself dead while showing a friend how to handle a handgun.  The more I think about it, even though nobody is saying take away peoples guns except the gun nuts, we really don’t have to worry about it.  Give em time, they’ll kill themselves.

 

The faux scandal of Benghazi is definite proof that facts are like Kryptonite to Republicans.  Blaming the embassy attack on Hilary is like blaming Ben Franklin for people killed by lightning because he discovered electricity.   

 

You know how the Republicans have been harping for years about all of the voter fraud that is happening in the country and yet nobody anywhere can seem to find any?  Well, drum roll please, we finally have an actual case of voter fraud.  Robert (I Have Multiple Personalities and They All Like To Vote) Monroe a big time Republican donor in Wisconsin has been charged with voting multiple times in a number of different elections.  Sometimes that karma can bite you in the ass. 

 We also have voter issues in Texas.

Stay tuned for future adventures

Politicans, Preachers and Pinheads

Ralph (God is a Personal Friend of Mine) Reed’s Faith and Freedom Coalition held their “Road to Misogyny” summit last week.  I know, they called it Road to Majority but trust me, when you heard what all of the right wing-nut religious bonehead speakers were saying, you’ll see I’m right on the money.

Rafel( Rhymes With Fidel) Cruz, little TeaNut Teddy’s daddy preached about the Seven Mountains dominionism  which gives Right-Wing Nut Christians authority over the seven forces that control and shape our culture. (1) Business; (2) Government; (3) Media; (4) Arts and Entertainment; (5) Education; (6) Family; and (7) Religion; (8) Suppressing that pesky Feminism.  Let’s see, what would a country look like that was run and dominated by religious fanatics? Oh yeah. IRAN.

When you listen to the crap that TeaNut Teddy and DaddyNut Rafel both spew on a regular basis, you can see the fruitcake doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

Another speaker, Louisiana Governor Bobby (Jihad) Jindal had this to say, “I can sense right now a rebellion brewing amongst these United States, where people are ready for a hostile takeover of Washington, D.C.”   Little Bobby went on the whine about how he was tired of “the left trying to silence us.”  That seems like a funny thing to say while you’re standing up there spouting treasonous crap to the public.  

I am pretty sure Christian radio talk show host John (I Love Kids, Especially Little Boys) Balyo would have been on the speakers list if it wasn’t for the fact that he was arrested on child sex charges last week.  Gosh another preacher with his hand down some else's pants.  Who would of thought it?

I see where the Republican Party of South Dakota passed a resolution calling for the impeachment of President Obama.  I understand they also passed a resolution to change the name of The Black Hills where Mount Rushmore is located to The White Hills.

Stay tuned for future adventures.