You Know What Day It Is

I see why Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina is the new darling of the TeaNut Republicans. While CEO of Hewlett-Packard, Snarly spied on board members, did illegal business with Iran, laid off 30,000 employess, bribed officials in Russia to do business there and last week on national TV and blatantly lied about a watching a video that doesn’t exist.

Mrs. Pinocchio’s relationship with the truth is like a second cousin twice removed.  I understand this is Snarly’s new campaign song.

After hearing Dr. Ben (Nutjob Neurosurgeon) Carson's anti-Muslim statements it is quite obvious that he is the first brain surgeon in history who doesn’t have a brain.

Scott (I’m No Longer A Runner, But A) Walker is joining Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry in a Timothy Leary moment of “Tune in, Turn on, Drop out.” Little Scotty told his three supporters, “Today, I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race so that a positive, conservative message can rise to the top of the field.” I’m not sure about the called part; I think the real reason is that no one was calling period.

I just noticed that Family Dollar stores are having their Red Tag Clearance sale, so if you needs some red tags, that’s where to go.

 

The CEO of Volkswagen Martin (What Pollution?) Winterkorn had this to say this week about the scandal involving Volkswagen decision to equip 11 million cars with devices to cheat emission testing.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Morning Blah Blahs

So it took nine cops in Stockton, Ca to arrest a 16 year old kid who was accused of jaywalking.  Wow, it’s a good thing this kid hadn’t robbed a bank or they would have to have called in the National Guard.

Dumbest statement of the last Republican Debate Debacle was Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush saying “my brother kept us safe.”  Evidently Jeb thinks “W” didn’t become President until September 12^th. 2001.  

 Oops, that doesn’t work either.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump and one of his moron supporters had this little conversation last week.  “We have a problem in this country. It's called Muslims. You know our current president is one.” an unidentified man said to Trump and he replied, “We need this question,” Notice how the racist Republicans have cleverly changed the “N” word to the “M” word so they can say it in public.

After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, Trumpypooh  finally came up with his favorite Bible verse, It’s “the truth, you can’t handle the truth.”  Evidently The Don believes in gospel of  Jack..

Jade Helm is officially over in Texas and here is the final report.

People incarcerated in Wal-Mart stores…0

Number of guns taken by the military…0

Number of people arrested for speaking against the government…0

Number of Chinese soldiers invading Texas…0

Number of FEMA camps set up…0

Number of Boneheads who live in Bastrop, Texas …..What ever is on the city limit sign.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Way I See It

The media is all a twitter about snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina standing up to Mr. Bluster in this week’s Republican Debate Debacle.   I found it interesting how none of them mentioned how Snarly blatantly lied about Planned Parenthood.  I have noticed that the rule is if a Republican lips are moving, they must be lying.

And since Miss Snarly is now a big war hawk when it comes to Iran, she clearly has some explaining to do about when she was head of Hewlet-Packard and they got caught doing millions of dollars worth of business with Iran when it was illegal. Sounds like some more of that well-known Republican disease; selective amnesia.

Texas Senaterrible Rafael ( I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz was greeted with dead silence when he introduced himself to the debate audience.  You would have thought that since his wife was in the audience, she would have had the decency to applaud.  When asked about it later, little Teddy said his supporters are members of the silent majority.  . 

Speaking of supporters, those enamored with The Don are calling themselves Trumpterians.  The rest of the world is calling them morons.

Irving Texas Mayor Beth (Not Only Do I Look Like A Fox News Host, But I’m Just As Dumb)Van Duyne has refused to apologize to the young student who was arrested for bringing a digital clock to school that he had designed and built himself.  "I do not fault the school or the police for looking into what they saw as a potential threat," she said this week. She went on to say that clocks are very scary and that she jumps every time hers goes off in the mornings.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

If It's Not One Hump, It's Another

I see where the Oaf Creepers, a quasi military group made up of old overweight boneheads who think they are in the Really Special Forces, are not coming to protect Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis after all.  I understand the leader’s mom wouldn’t let them borrow her van for the trip.

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blowhard Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee went on the TV this past week and wanted to know if the Syrian refugees were coming to America just for cable television.  I am stunned at this. You mean to tell me Syria doesn’t have cable TV.

The second Republican debate debacle will be on the TV tonight.  I believe it’s on the wrestling channel. There should be a lot of fighting outside the ring with people hitting each of other over the head with folding chairs and lots of body slams. I understand Trumpy Pooh is going to wear a Richard Nixon mask so nobody will know him and of course Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson will be wearing his surgical mask.

Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina has moved up from the kids table to participate in the shenanigans.  After The Don’s “look at her face” remark, she said she will be wearing a bag over her head.  

Former Florida Governor Jeb (At Least I'm Not Neil) Bush will be dressed as a pinata. 

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don't Have A Clue) Cruz, Rick (I Need To Be In A) Santorum and Scott (I Need A) Walker are coming as the Three Stooges. In other words they will be dressed as usual.

 

Former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry won’t be making the big event fiasco tonight.  He didn’t have enough money in his campaign account for bus fare.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Musing

I can remember a time when I had quite a few friends that were Republicans and we actually had different opinions on very few things.  I’m an Independent and as you can tell if you read this little piece of fluff regularly, I’m pretty liberal on most things.  Anyway today’s Republican Party is vastly different from the Republican Party that my friends believed in.

I believe the demise of the big elephant in the room began when the Republicans opened their arms and took in the racist Dixecrats who were fleeing the Democratic Party because of the Civil Rights movement. The next blunder was jumping in bed with the Far Right Religious Wackos and of course the icing on the cake was the emergence of the incredibly narrow-minded, gun toting, bad spelling faux patriotic Tea Nuts.

You now have a party of low intelligent, poor redneck misogynistic, homophobic, bigots and their poster boy is Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump. Obviously the banana doesn’t fall far from the tree.  The New York Times just dug up a story about Donnie Boy’s dad being arrested with some KKK goons in 1927.  The thing about these boneheads who support Trump and most of today’s Republican leaders that I don’t understand is why they continue to vote against their own self-interest until they go to meet Jesus, who by the way from everything I’ve ever read was most definitely a liberal. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Bubbles From My Soap Box

Here is my prediction about Rowan County Clerk Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis.  I already see who hubby number 5 will be. It will be none other than the infamous Cliven (DeadBeat) Bundy, the Nevada rancher who owes the government one million dollars over back taxes.  Talk about a marriage made in heaven, well actually for TV.

TLC Channel has been looking for something to fill the hole in their schedule ever since The Duggars, “19 Kids and Counting” show became “14 Lucky Kids, 4 Victims and 1 Pervert”.   I do believe “Bundy & Davis: 2 Stupid People” could be a smash.  The ceremony of course will be conducted by Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee.

In a lot of places being a member of the country club shows a lot of prestige. 

Not so much so in Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert’s district.  Looney Louie said this week if the Iran deal goes through, he is leaving Congress. Now if he would just leave Texas it would be a Win Win Win. 

I’m guessing this is where the kids around here go to do a little smooching.

If any of you ladies out there have been seeing the ads for Farmers.com and have been thinking about signing up, you might want to check this out first.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Humps For A Hump Day

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blowhard Mike ( I Need A Job) Huckabee and Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz were going to give last rites rights to Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis, but the Judge beat them to it and let her go home. As you can see Kimmy's number four dressed up for the occasion.

 Little Kimmy said she was going to go dig out her Bible out and see if she could find some other excuse for not doing her job.  Little Mikey said if Kim violated the conditions of her release, that he would go to jail in her place.  I'm not a religious person, but I would get down on my knees for that one.

Speaking of Cruz and Huckabee, I wonder why either one of these boneheads have not said anything about the flight stewardess for Express Air who was suspended.  She is Muslim and said her religion forbade her from serving alcohol.  Wrong religion I guess.  I am just waiting for the fun to begin when a county clerk somewhere refuses to issue a hunting license because they are vegan. 

Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin said on the TV this week that she would be a good Secretary of Energy for Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump.  She said that spoke American and could type at least 30 words every so often.  She also reminded him that she was not one of those feminist secretaries who wouldn’t get him his morning coffee and that she certainly had the energy to do the job…at least for half a term. 

Since the far right religious wacko TeaNuts took over the Republican Party, their platform has become fairly simple.

Health Care….Pray you don’t get sick.
Gun Issues…Pray you don’t get shot.
Employment…Pray that they don’t send your job overseas.
Economy…Pray that Wall Street doesn’t screw the country again.

I am pretty sure that the Governor of Nebraska Pete (Hang ‘em High) Ricketts wants to be the next famous serial killer.  Early this year the Nebraska legislature voted to abolish the death penalty, but that didn’t go well with ole Put-em-to-Sleep Pete so he vetoed it and vowed to kill as many prisoners on death row that he could before the law takes effect.  He has since spent two hundred thousand dollars out of his own pocket to put the death penalty on the next election ballot.  Now that is someone with the real need to kill.

It seems not everyone was sad to see Aunt Rose passing.

I am pretty sure these Presleyterians think that Elvis is coming back. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.