Harrumph Day

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So far Sarah’s Hysterical Bus Tour is very Palin-esk.. It seems to have no direction, gets lost quite often, has made a number of wrong turns and has ended up in the bar ditch a few times, but on the up-side she has made a major gaffe at every stop.

We now have Sarah Palin’s explanation of why Paul Revere was ringing those bells. It was door bells. She claimed he was one of Boston’s first Jehovah’s Witness.

24,199 pages of emails sent between former Gov. Sarah Palin and state officials are set to be released on Friday to the public. Early word is that 24,196 pages contain the words, “You betcha."

The International Atheist Meeting was last week in Dublin, Ireland. Man you know there was some swearing, drinking, fighting and screwing going on there and just down the street was the Atheist conference.

The interesting thing is that the Atheist, who totally deny the existence of God, were meeting right next door to the International Agnostic Meeting who only doubt the existence of God. Across the street was the International Apathy Meeting and they of course don’t care either way.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is the real deal. He walked the walk, talked the talk and made the maid.

And the big winner in the Name That Wiener Contest goes to Democratic Congressman Anthony (Oscar Mayer) Weiner. Mr. Weiner wins a one-way trip to the Hall of Shame for incredibly stupid adolescent politicians. He joins Congressman Chris(Shirtless) Lee, Senator John (If my lips are moving, I’m lying) Edwards, Congressman Charles (I lost my Ways and Means) Rangel, Senator John (What, humping my best friend’s wife is wrong?) Ensign, and former South Carolina Governor Mark (I’m hiking) Sanford.

A global poll just released names Americans the funniest in the world. Well yeah, when you are home to Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressman Anthony Weiner, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Pat Robertson, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, and John Edwards, how can you not be?

I see where Governor Rick (Serial Politician) Perry is having a prayer meeting here in Houston. It’s called: “The Response, A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis.” Wow, just think if this works as well as when the Governor  had us all pray for rain….wait a minute, we didn’t get a drop. Never mind.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Where Have All The Jobs Gone?

The number one question in the country today is where are the jobs? Well, there aren’t many and I’ll tell you why. In my opinion, one of our biggest problems is that we as a country have moved to a financial system where we only make money off of money. Many years ago we were based on being a productive system. We made, built or produced things. All kinds of things and we did it better than anyone else in the world. “Made In America,” really meant something.

Then we moved into being a creative system. We decided we would invent, create and design things, but let the rest of the world make, build or produce them. This was fine for a while as we transitioned from one kind of job to different kinds of jobs.

Now we have moved into being a financial system. We just make money off of money. We don’t build, make or produce hardly anything so there are fewer and fewer jobs. Most decisions in this country are being made by Wall Street, financial institutions and large corporations. These people and companies don’t make, build or produce anything. They don’t even come up with ideas of new things to make, build or produce. We were better off in the days of the robber barons than today because they at least produced jobs and products.

The stock market is nothing more than high stakes gambling. I’m sure it didn’t start out that way but it has certainly evolved to that. At one time a person invested (bought stock in a company) because they thought it was a good company and maybe they could make some money along with the company. If the company did well so did the investor, or at least didn’t lose money.

Now, the value of stock can change in a heartbeat, not because of something the company did, but because of something totally unrelated in another part of world. Also brokerage companies play little games that the investor knows nothing about. Buying short is one, like they did a couple of years ago which helped bring on the mortgage crisis.

There was a time when Wall Street and Main Street intersected, but no longer. Main Street is like that once thriving small town that is now dying on the vine after it got by-passed by the Interstate highway.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for capitalism. It’s still the best system in the world but it totally depends on us to keep buying stuff. That was alright as long as we were making most of it. That has changed and now we are seeing the results of that change.

Isn’t it ironic that the headlines scream about high un-employment, gas and food prices going through the roof, and how sad the economy is while the largest corporations enjoy some of their highest profits ever and the giant financial firms are handing out major bonuses? It is not capitalism that is ruing our country, it is corporatism.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Have Gun, Will Travel

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Now Rick (I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do and a gun) Perry says he is thinking about running for President. Wasn’t he talking about Texas seceding in the recent past? Anyway, a "Draft Perry 2012" website is up and running and get this; it is sponsored by 5 California lawmakers. Well yeah, these yahoos had Arnold for Governor. Even an idiot like Slick Rick looks good beside that bed warmer. The only thing Arnold has done noteworthy is to join the who’s who list of famous folks who have fathered children out of wedlock. Here are few names that come to mind, John Edwards, Eddie Murphy, most of the players in the NBA and God.

Here are some facts about how Texas has done under Perry’s periscope.
• Texas is #49 in verbal SAT scores in the nation (493) and #46 in average math SAT scores (502).
• Texas is #36 in the nation in high school graduation rates (68%).
• Texas is #33 in the nation in teacher salaries.

Oh yeah, we are in the top ten for having the biggest budget short fall. We rank #8 with $27 billion and had to lay off hundreds of teachers and other public workers, (fire and police departments).Way to go Rick.

Rick (Serial Politician) Perry doesn’t bring experience to the party, he brings baggage. Here is a guy who was born in a lower middle class family who has worked in government jobs all of his life and is a millionaire. Gee, wonder how he did that? You think he saved that much by switching  to Geico?
And if that is not enough for ya on Slick Rick, check out http://juanitajean.com/

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the new darling of the Republican Party, is certainly fitting right into the Republican mode of saying one thing and doing another. The so called fiscal-conservative took a State Police helicopter to his son’s baseball game. Nice move.

The scariest thing about all of the Republican candidates who have announced and those who are about to announce they are running for President is their nano knowledge about foreign policy. Most of them couldn’t tell you if Bin Laden was involved with Al Qaeda or Al Roker.

Two friends in Houston were comparing handguns and one of them was accidentally shot in the chest. Seems like another good reason to make it mandatory for gun owners to take an I.Q. test.

 On a recent field trip to Baltimore a group of eighth-graders from Berwick, Pennsylvania were taken to lunch at Hooters. I am assuming they were members of the school’s Audubon Society.

Sarah Palin and Donald Trump’s meeting took a bad turn this week.. That thing on Donald’s head snapped at Sarah and she shot it. Early reports say it only suffered a hair line fracture.

Does anybody else think the Viagra commercials are as dumb as I do? Their slogan is, “The Age of Knowing.” They have a guy driving down the road and his car over heats so he stops and puts water in it. Wow, is that brilliant or what? Who would have ever thought to do that? What I am really surprised about is they haven’t used Jesus as their spokesman. I mean who could better represent “Resurrection” and “The Second Coming.” Plus you can make some great rhymes with erections and resurrection.


Today's good read is Ghost Country by Patrick Lee.  This is a real page turner and one of the best Sci-Fi thrillers I have read in a while.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hurricane Season

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U.S. weather forecasters announced last week that residents along the Gulf and East coasts should expect an above average Atlantic hurricane season.  Oh goody, just what we wanted to hear.   They say between 12 and 18 named storms are likely during the up-coming hurricane season which begins today..  Six to 10 are likely to be hurricanes; and three to six could become major hurricanes, ranging from Category 3-5.

Here is something that might get your attention if you live in the Houston area as I do. We have not had a major storm or Category 3 hit the U.S. coast since 2005.  And you say, “Listen Rod,” I went through Ike in 2008; what are you talking about?  The fact is Ike was only a Category 2 when it blew through Houston and Galveston causing $10 billion dollars in damage.  

The real point I am trying to make is that we haven’t had a major storm hit us since Carla in 1961 and she wasn’t a direct hit.  We were very lucky last year because El Nino winds steered most of the tropical storms away from our coastlines.   This year we may not be so fortunate as it doesn’t look like El Nino is going to develop at this time.

Eleven years ago when I began writing SURGE, I had just read a similar article about how active the next ten to fifteen years were going to be for hurricanes.  After much research and many visits to hurricane conferences, interviewing lots of folks with the National Weather Bureau and emergency managers in our area, I came to know how vulnerable Houstonians and the people who live in New Orleans were to a major hurricane.

I decided on a novel because I didn’t want to write about hurricanes that had been here, ie, the great Galveston hurricane of 1900 or Carla, I wanted to write about the one that was still out there. After talking with a lot of different people in the area, I knew there was a certain amount of apathy about hurricanes.  I was guilty of it myself. My foremost priority was to have an exciting story that would be a good read no matter what part of the country you lived in, but I also wanted to try to make people who live in coastal areas aware of what could happen if we were to take a direct hit by a Category 4 or 5 storm.

SURGE was published in 2004, the same year that Florida got slammed with 4 hurricanes but we here in Texas were unscathed. Things got really scary in 2005. We all sat in front of our TV’s and watched the terrible scenes unfolding from Katrina’s visit to New Orleans which was only a Category 2 storm by the time it came ashore.

 I still remember very vividly coming home from a live interview via satellite with Rita Cosby on MSNBC as Hurricane Rita churned as a Category 5 in the Gulf heading straight for Houston.  This was a scenario that I had been living with for almost 5 years and now it was coming true. Fortunately as we all know, Rita weaken to Category 2 and turned right before hitting us, doing the most damage to Beaumont and southern Louisiana.

If you are interested in what could have happened had she not made a little jog and stayed a Category 5, I invite you to read SURGE.  It’s still available at Amazon; book or Kindle (you can click on the button by the book cover), or you can order it at any book store in the world.  I have been told by a number of weather experts including the fine people at the National Hurricane Center in Miami and hurricane consultants that SURGE is an accurate portrayal of what could happen if Houston has to face a direct hit from a Category 5 storm.


“….It presents a scary scenario that is entirely possible in the Houston/Galveston area.  The type of storm described in this book is a Meteorologist’s nightmare.”
Gene Hafele, National Weather Service, Houston/Galveston.

“Being an emergency manager, I was a bit reluctant to get started, thinking I wouldn’t really care for it, but when I finally got to it, I couldn’t put it down.  A great story with some good surprises.”
Eliot Jennings, Emergency Manager Coordinator, City of Galveston

“What made Surge a gripping, “couldn’t put it down” read, was Tanner’s physical descriptions of Dolly.  Few in this area understand the enormous destructive power of a Category 5 hurricane and how a direct hit will transform this area.  Tanner translates the dry statistical data and predictions into a frightening description of what will happen to those unfortunates caught in such a storm’s path.  I could hear the howling winds and see the angry storm surge charging up Galveston Bay.  I could feel the “soaked to the bone” exhaustion as the characters fought to survive Dolly’s wrath.”
                          Bill King, Mayor, City of Kemah

   
“In SURGE, Tanner has dotted his work with a cast of characters as colorful as his background.  There’s the good, the bad, the beauty and those in-between.  From politicians to Joe Blue-collar, they’re all there and then some.”
Chuck Hlava, Editor Mariner’s Log


“Mr Tanner’s highly descriptive narrative brings the story alive showing what emergency managers along the coast fear more than any type of event, a major hurricane, what I call a Tropical Terrorist.  His wordsmithing has made this storm story a very human one - thanks to the use of real locations known to people that live in the area today.  As I read it, I could picture the event happening.”
                        Lew Fincher, VP of Hurricane Consulting

“Not only will you not be able to put it down, you’ll also get up the next morning; want to board up your house; get your boat prepared for a storm and head for Colorado.”
Gene Rutt, Editor Tropicalattitude Magazine.

So hurricane season is here again and once again the same thought is running through my mind.  That storm is sill out there.




Stay tuned for future adventures

Party Animals

As Mark Twain once said, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one,” or was it Shania Twain?…Anyway here is my opinion on one of the biggest problems in our country today:  Politics and our so called two-party system.

Now before you start telling me there is more than two parties: No, there’s not.  The Tea Party is simply a bunch of disgruntled Republicans who lost some money in the stock market and are pissed about it.  The Libertarians are a bunch of Republicans who are more paranoid than Darth Cheney and are afflicted with the Ebenezer Scrooge Syndrome.  Tiny Tim can hobble along on his crutch the best way he can.  The Green Party are woodsy Democrats who like to go camping and please, don’t even get me started on the Presbyterians.

I believe our two-party system is a private party and the public is not invited.  The political parties were originally created for communication.  It was a way to spread a message or ideas pre-telephone, radio or TV.  Now with the internet and all of the social media networks and 24 hr news on TV, there is no need for the party system. 

Being a member of one our political parties has virtually no benefits unless you are a politician or work for a politician. You don’t get a discount at hotels, airlines or rental cars.  There are no Republican or Democrat coupons for the grocery store and your car doesn’t get any better gas mileage.

The real scam of the party system is that the idea or message that they preach to get you into their party seems to go out the window the minute they are elected.  History has shown once the Republicans got into power they spent money faster than the Democrats.  Even the word party doesn’t fit.  Do you see any body having fun?  I mean other than the politicians, the people who work for them and the lobbyist are the only ones yucking it up at happy hour at taxpayers expense.

Politics is a team sport.  Charisma mixed with a little bullshit can get you to the top of the pile but you actually can’t change anything by yourself.  It’s sorta like sending your star quarterback out on the field while his linemen sit on the bench.

The prevailing wisdom in Washington is to get along and go along. Once elected, a politician’s primary agenda is to get elected again.  Everything else is secondary.  I believe that 98% of all the decisions made in Congress are based on self-serving political reasons; what is best for the party and what is best for their career.  1% comes from some knee-jerk far right wing-nut job and 1% come from some far left dip-shit who hasn’t got a clue to how the real world works.

I think that there are occasionally a few people who get into politics for the right reason. They think that they can do the right thing for their constituents and make big changes, but soon find out they have no voice or clout. Think of the kid who gets sent to prison because he either made a stupid choice or was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Do you think he comes out (A) a better person and rehabilitated or (B) a harden criminal?  I’ll bet on B every time.

Every Senator and most of the Representatives are millionaires.  The vast majority are white males.  They have a wonderful health plan and their retirement is guaranteed; do you think they really can relate to the working guy or out of work person who is simply trying to put food on the table and keep his kids in school?  I don’t think so.

This is the case even with people who grew up poor and now find themselves with money and power.  Paul Ryan, House Republican from Wisconsin is a perfect example. Paul was sixteen years old when his father died of a heart attack at age 55.  Paul began collecting his Social Security survivor's benefits until age eighteen, which he saved for college tuition and expenses.   Now Paul would like to make major changes to the system that put him through college. What a guy!

I do not believe that the founders of this country ever intended for public service to be an occupation.  I think public service is a duty that responsible people choose to do for a short period of time and then return to being productive citizens.

Maybe if we sent enough folks to Washington who had no ties or affiliations with a political party and they knew they were only going to be there for a short period of time instead of a lifelong career, they might work together for the good of the country.  I have no idea if this could work but it certainly couldn’t be any worse than it is now.  




 Stay tuned for future adventures

Sarah's Bust Tour

Sarah Palin will embark on a one nation tour of historical sites this weekend that were key to the formation, survival and growth of the United States of America. Sarah says she will begin her trip in Washington D.C. where Lincoln gave his famous Gettysburg  address freeing the American Indians.

Then she is traveling to Philadelphia to see where Quasimodo rang the Liberty Bell so hard that he cracked it.  She said she is also going by Ben Franklin’s house to see where he invented electricity.

From there Sarah said she will go to Boston and the Old North Church where Paul Revere & The Raiders recorded “Just Like Us” and “Kicks,” and then down to Plymouth Rock to visit where Christopher Columbus ran the Mayflower ashore and opened the first Pilgrims Cleaners.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Also a two-hour film about Sarah Palin’s governorship will debut in Iowa next month. Coincidentally that is just about how long she was Governor

Mitt Romney is expected to announce he is running for President of something next week.  I’m not sure if it is President of Utah or the United States. At this time, Romney leads most national GOP popularity polls. I think that has to do with the way the question was worded on the poll. It asked if all the Republican candidates suddenly came down with the plague, who would you give the antidote to? 

So Paul Ryan and the Republican Party are saying that Democrat Kathy Hochul used scare tactics about Medicare to win the New York House of Representatives seat this week.  Let’s see, this is from the party that came up with “Death Panels,” “Rationing for the elderly,” and     “Obama’s birth certificate”  

Phoenix Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who calls himself “America’s toughest sheriff,” may have to change his name to “America’s dumbest sheriff.”  Three of his employees have been arrested on drug and human trafficking charges. Marcella Hernandez, a detention officer, said she is eight-months pregnant with the child of the alleged drug ring's leader.  Sounds like she was working undercover…or was it under the covers?

Grimsvotn, Iceland’s most active volcano erupted this past Saturday.   The Icelandic government has been understandably worried about the eruption’s impact on the tourism business but so far all nine tourists confirmed they were still making the trip.

 
This quote from a movie reviewer  “Second 'Hangover' feels awfully familiar” ….YOU THINK..

 Yesterday Congress voted to extend The Big Brother Patriot Act.



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Harrumph Day

Looks like the Republicans are starting to send in the big guns, or is it clowns. Tim(talk about bullshit, I’ve got) Pawlenty, former governor of Minnesota, has announced he is running for President.  He said, "I'm going to take a different approach. I am going to tell you the truth."  Here are my thoughts on that statement.  Anytime you have to tell people you are telling the truth, you are probably lying.  The honest person automatically thinks you think he is telling you the truth. 

One thing for sure about Tim (talk about bullshit, I’ve got) Pawlenty, is that if you happen to be poor, abused or orphaned because you were unlucky enough to be born to bad parents, don’t expect any help from him.  Here is quote from Tim in 2001 when he was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives. "Children who are victims of failed personal responsibility are not my problem, nor are they the problem for our government.”  Of course he is Pro-Life, he just doesn’t care if you have a very good life.  Just another Compassionate Conservative at work.  

He also said on the Today show. “I’ll bring the solutions forward that will actually fix the country.”  Gee I wonder if he is going to fix the country like he fixed Minnesota.  The former Governor left Minnesota with the largest deficit in 152 years.  Yeah, he fixed those Minnesotans alright. Also remember that Tim is the guy who came in second to Sarah Palin when John McCain was deciding on a running mate.

Here is a real winner or should I say whiner. Rick (I need to be in a) Santorum, former Republican Senator from Pennsylvania is expected to throw his room key into the fray next week.  He is another Compassionate Conservative who is a major gay basher, pro-lifer, isolationist who is not even considered a long shot.  To be considered to be a long shot, you at least have to have a chance.

In the words of that famous political pundit Michael Vick, so far this election is shaping up to be a fight between a Rottweiler and a couple of Chihuahuas.

And speaking of clowns, Rush (I’m living proof that drugs cause brain damage) Slimebaugh and Sean (I’m even dumber than Rush) Hannity ratings are down about 30%.  Looks like these boneheads are finally talking their way out of a gig.  Of course the majority of their audience is made up of old white males which is pretty much the same make-up of the GOP.(grumpy old people).

Harold (two strikes) Camping is at it again. Now he says Judgment Day will be Oct 21st.  Damn, and I have a great Halloween costume for this year.  I was going to go as Newton Leroy(nitwit) Gingrich.  All I need is a shoe to stick in my mouth. 

Joesph Brooks, who wrote“You Light up my life” possibly the sappiest song ever written and recorded, killed himself this week at the age of 73.  I’m surprised he let himself live this long.   Before you think I am too harsh on Joe, he was awaiting trial on allegations that he lured women to his apartment through an online ad offering auditions for a movie role and then raped them.

Today's good read is The Trinity Six by Charles Cumming.  This is a well written Cold War spy novel that puts a new spin one of Britain's most  notorious spy rings.  




Stay tuned for future adventures.