Harrumph Day

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So far Sarah’s Hysterical Bus Tour is very Palin-esk.. It seems to have no direction, gets lost quite often, has made a number of wrong turns and has ended up in the bar ditch a few times, but on the up-side she has made a major gaffe at every stop.

We now have Sarah Palin’s explanation of why Paul Revere was ringing those bells. It was door bells. She claimed he was one of Boston’s first Jehovah’s Witness.

24,199 pages of emails sent between former Gov. Sarah Palin and state officials are set to be released on Friday to the public. Early word is that 24,196 pages contain the words, “You betcha."

The International Atheist Meeting was last week in Dublin, Ireland. Man you know there was some swearing, drinking, fighting and screwing going on there and just down the street was the Atheist conference.

The interesting thing is that the Atheist, who totally deny the existence of God, were meeting right next door to the International Agnostic Meeting who only doubt the existence of God. Across the street was the International Apathy Meeting and they of course don’t care either way.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is the real deal. He walked the walk, talked the talk and made the maid.

And the big winner in the Name That Wiener Contest goes to Democratic Congressman Anthony (Oscar Mayer) Weiner. Mr. Weiner wins a one-way trip to the Hall of Shame for incredibly stupid adolescent politicians. He joins Congressman Chris(Shirtless) Lee, Senator John (If my lips are moving, I’m lying) Edwards, Congressman Charles (I lost my Ways and Means) Rangel, Senator John (What, humping my best friend’s wife is wrong?) Ensign, and former South Carolina Governor Mark (I’m hiking) Sanford.

A global poll just released names Americans the funniest in the world. Well yeah, when you are home to Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressman Anthony Weiner, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Pat Robertson, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, and John Edwards, how can you not be?

I see where Governor Rick (Serial Politician) Perry is having a prayer meeting here in Houston. It’s called: “The Response, A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis.” Wow, just think if this works as well as when the Governor  had us all pray for rain….wait a minute, we didn’t get a drop. Never mind.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Newton Discovers Jesus

Ole Newton Leroy Gingrich has tossed his hat into the ring.  He and his cute little trophy wife number 3 (she’s 22 years younger) say that Newton has discovered Jesus.  I don’t know if Newton was sitting under an apple tree when Jesus fell on him or what.  I wonder if Nitwit has told his entire conservative, family values flock that most of his campaign money comes from a gambling mogul. I doubt it, he has to sell them on wifey pooh #3 and being born again first.

The Texas Senate has passed Dan (Pillsbury dough boy) Patrick’s bill to allow lawmakers to pack heat anywhere they go, ie, church, bars, sporting events.  In other words, in all kinds of places no one else can carry a gun.  Gee, sounds to me like these boys are feeling a little paranoid, you know like maybe folks are out to get them for doing such a lousy job.

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife of 25 years, Maria Shriver, announced Monday that they are separating. I’m not sure which one delivered the line, “I won’t be back.”

Here is a good one. It’s called the Free State Project and the members call themselves “Free Staters.”   Today, nearly 1,000 of these “Free Staters” have moved to New Hampshire and if the movement succeeds, 20,000 Free Staters will soon be living in a Granite State community focused on libertarian, small-government principles.

Most of these Free Staters are followers of Libertarian Ron Paul.  A spokesman for the Libertarians said, “We felt we could maximize our influence by trying to focus on a single state where we could move and start to impact the political system.”  The movement started in 2003 and now 12 members of the New Hampshire legislature call themselves Free Staters. New Hampshire is also where the Presidential primary kicks off.  I am assuming since the motto on their license plates is “Live Free Or Die,” you either have to join the Free Staters or kill yourself.   Kool-Aid anyone?


And another preacher bites the dust. Evidently lying is in their DNA. The Rev. Jim Moats, a 59-year-old pastor at the Christian Bible Fellowship Church in Newville, Pa. has been telling his flock for years that he served in Vietnam and was a Navy Seal.  It seems both stories were a big fat lie.

After he was dumb enough to do an interview with The Patriot-News, a real navy seal confronted him and he confessed he made it all up.  He said he took some things that he had seen in a Steven Segal movie and passed them off as true.  Steven Segal? At least he could have come up with a real actor like Matt Damon or Bruce Willis.

Today's good read is Red On Red by Edward Conlon.  A very well written detective story written by a real detective. This is one of the best books I've read lately.



Stay tuned for futures adventures.