50 Shades Of Stupid

After the video of the Oklahoma University frat boys singing a song with racial slurs went viral, the Governor issued a statement saying that Oklahomans were not racist, they just didn’t like black people.  The Oklahoma state legislature condemned the video immediately saying the camera work was shaky and that it was hard to understand the words.  Oklahoma TeaNut Senaterrible Jim (I’m Not A Scientist, But I Am A Moron) Inhofe, who believes Climate Change is a hoax, said that he thought the video was a fake.  He said he had seen the Broadway musical Oklahoma nine times and he didn’t remember that song.

Former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry was running his mouth at a Republican fundraiser last week and said, “Thomas Paine wrote that ‘the duty of a patriot is to protect his country from his government.”  The problem is that Thomas Paine didn’t say that. I’m pretty sure it was Richard Thomas on The Waltons. Ricky pooh thought that John Boy was the coolest.

Florida Governor Rick (I Really Am As Creepy As I Look) Scott is a TeaNut Republican who believes in freedom of speech except for those words he doesn’t like.  He has banned the employees of the EPA in Florida from using “global warming” and “ climate change.”  Little Ricky also doesn’t like or believe in the words, honesty, integrity, and truthfulness.

Utah state Represenitive Paul  (Not Only Am I A Mormon, but I’m Also A Moron) Ray has sponsored a bill to use firing squads instead of lethal drugs. He said he would bring in Donald (I Have A Bad Hair Day Everyday) Trump to do the honors. He said nobody says “you’re fired” like the Don. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Preachers and Politicans

First of all Billy (Generic Preacher) Graham’s son Franklin( Jesus Loves You, Well Not if You Are Gay) Graham praised Russian President Vladimir Putin-On-a-Show for persecuting gays in Russia and now Billy’s daughter Anne (I’m a Religious Nut Too) Graham Lotz has said that she thinks the missing Malaysian airplane may be part of the  Apocalypse.  I guess Heaven’s immigration is getting out of hand and can only take a plane load of folks at a time.

You know how the Republicans are big on family values; well one of their candidates running for Governor of California is a registered sex offender.  He told the L.A. Times that after he was arrested for picking up under aged prostitutes and was in jail, he found the Lord.   He didn’t say what the Lord was in for.

Another one of those family value Republican bonehead’s, Louisiana Senaterrible David (Who Says You Can’t Buy Love) Vitter, who was busted last year for soliciting prostitutes, told his colleagues last week how patriotic the Koch brothers are.  He said they loved America so much that they were willing to buy every seat in Congress, no matter how much it cost.

Florida Republican Governor Rick (I Thought I Was Elected King) Scott has been accused of campaign violations that could cost him as much as $82 million dollars. The one term Governor has already acquired a reputation of one of the worst Governors in the country.  Wow, it took Rick (All Hair,No Integrity) Perry a couple of terms to get that reputation.  

Jordan (I Am A Certified Crook) Belfort, the original “Wolf of Wall Street” who went to prison for scamming Wall Street investors out of millions of dollars, is selling a seminar on ethical persuasion.  He says it teaches you how to sell things without lying. This bonehead still owes victims nearly $100 million dollars in restitution.  I am pretty sure the Republicans have found their nominee for President in 2016. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures.