Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Television: The Vast Wasteland





We have dish TV and I think we get 9000 channels or something like that and there is nothing worth watching.  I watched Storage Wars for three weeks and not a shot was fired.  I watched The Great Food Truck Race and they didn’t have a single wreck.  On Cutthroat Kitchen, there was not a drop of blood spilled.  I don’t think anyone even ended up with a paper cut.

What’s up with Big Brother?  None of these people are related. I don’t even think they are kissing cousins.  I will admit all their I.Q.’s are similar.

If you are going to call your talent show The Voice, then the contestants should only be heard not SEEN.  I do believe America’s Got Talent but unfortunately none of it has ever made it to this show.

Why call it Eyewitness News if none of your reporters actually saw the event?

I watched three episodes of Duck Dynasty and I don’t care how much money these boneheads made from inventing Duct Tape.  The best use of this material would be to put it over their mouths.

On Dance Moms, the mom doesn’t dance.  She just acts like a Dunce. Maybe they should change the name.

The Ghost Hunters have yet to catch a ghost. Good thing they don’t need a ghost to survive.

Satan has yet to make appearance on Hell’s Kitchen.  

Project Runway doesn’t feature any airports.

Why isn’t Star Search filmed in a planetarium?

And of course The Biggest Loser is the audience.



Here is a little tidbit for anyone out there who is thinking of starting a family but feel like they don’t have the money right now.  I just saw Sally (Acting 101) Struthers on TV talking about an orphanage in Haiti where you can feed and clothe a kid for just 50 cents a day. So there you are, have that kid and ship it off Haiti for pennies on the dollar.



Stay tuned for future adventures

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