The Republican heavy weights are starting to come out now that the running of the 45th Presidents Cup has begun. Announced so far is Newton Leroy (Family Values Man, he has three) Gingrich, who seems to have as much trouble paying his taxes as staying faithful in marriage, but now says he has found Jesus. His odds are best if the world ends on May 21th as predicted by some crank-pot preacher in California.
Then there is Ron (Fish Sticks) Paul who wants to go back to the Gold standard and build a wall around America. His odds of winning are exactly the same as a snowball in hell.
Also tossing his hat into the ring but making sure he doesn’t mess up his hair-do is Mitt (Part-time politician, full-time Mormon) Romney who has no plan or vision for America but thinks he would look good in Rose Garden photo ops. His odds are best for winning President of Utah.
Mike (Full-time politician, part-time preacher) Huckabee whose odds of winning were slightly ahead of the sun rising in the west has said he will not run. He said his heart says no. Actually that was quite refreshing to hear. I didn’t know politicians had hearts. Mike joins Mississippi Gov. Haley (My wife won’t let me run) Barbour, and two other guys who’s name recognition are so low they have to introduce themselves to their wives, have also decided to take their balls (that’s a sports metaphor) and go home.
We still don’t know about Donald (I may have a tiny brain, but I have a huge ego) Trump whose odds are in favor of him being voted buffoon of the year. And of course we can’t rule out Sarah ( I may be stupid but I’m not as stupid as Michele Bachmann) Palin and Michele ( I make Sarah look like a genius) Bachmann because as more folks head for the sidelines, they may not be able to resist the lure of the spotlight. It would take quantum physics to figure their odds.
The White House must be shaking in their boots….from laughing.
AND NOW SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
The fact that lots of porn was found in Bin Laden’s compound is nothing new. The U.S. has found a ton of pornography in the possession of al-Qaida operatives during previous raids. This porn consisted of hundreds of pictures of women without veils.
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the leader of the International Monetary Fund was charged with the attempted rape of a hotel maid. What? This dipshit couldn’t afford a hooker?
It’s been three years since we figured out Wall Street was robbing the country blind (and without a gun or mask) and not a single executive has seen the inside of a jail cell. I guess crime does pay.
Stay tuned for future adventures
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