Popes and Politics

I don’t know if the new Pope is gonna work out or not.  From all indications he seems to live a very simple life; wouldn’t take the chauffer driven car to work, but took the bus, and until they get the papal apartment ready he is staying at a Motel 6. He said they always leave the light on. 

He also seems very concerned with the poor.  I’m not sure but I think he was engaged at one time to Mother Teresa or maybe they just dated for a while.  Also he is supposed to be very honest.  With these sorts of characteristics, I just don’t think he is going to fit in with the status quo, but then again, they did elect a 76 year old man with one lung.  Maybe they think he won’t be a long term Pope.

The GOP’s newest star, Marco Rubio, told the folks at the Conservatives Political Action conference this week that there is no need to abandon their bedrock principles amid a bout of soul-searching within the GOP about how to broaden the party's appeal. The Florida senator repeatedly noted that the world has changed, but made the case for why standby Republican policies should stay the same.  

Hey I’m all for it, seeing how well that worked out for them in the last election.



Proving that Republicans aren’t about to change from their out-dated, worn out polices and tired old rhetoric, Congressman Louie Gohmert, well known nut-job and wacko from Texas, spent his time at the conference ranting about how we handled the Vietnam War.  Yes, you read that right, the Vietnam War.  He said the war was winnable and if we had spent one more week doing bombing runs that the Viet Cong would have surrendered.

An interesting side note about Louie is that Highway 59, which runs through his distinct, is also his IQ number.   


American Conservative Union chairman Al Cardenas who organizes CPAC also said he didn't invite New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to the conference and insisting that the GOP is "not a home for everybody."

Well yeah, why would you want somebody like Gov. Christie in your small little tent?  Even though he is white, he is certainly not old or grumpy enough to qualify.  And why would you want somebody that is popular and well liked?  That doesn’t fit into your tiny little tent.  And the real capper is that he actually seems to know and care how to govern and that really doesn’t fit into your minuscule little tent.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wacky Wednesday News

 I don’t know how strong this new pope is going to be. He is Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina and he has named himself Pope Francis 1 after Saint Francis a sissy. He says he is a compassionate conservative.   Hey that’s what George W. Bush said he was when he was elected President.  It looks like the Catholic Church has a tough eight years ahead of them. 

Speaking of the Bush clan. It seems that Daddy Bush was quite a poet and love letter writer.  A few samples have been released this week.  Here’s one I enjoyed very much.

Dear George,
Roses are red
Violets are blue,
I wish Jeb had run
Instead of you.

Kim Jong un is certainly living up to his name:  unstable, unwise, unbalanced; take your pick.  I was really hoping for unconscious or unemployed. Doesn’t it seem odd that two days after Dennis Rodman left Korea that Kim Jong un said he was going to attack South Korea. Carman Electra said the same thing after he left her.

The Republican Party should change its mascot from elephant to an groundhog.  They seem to keeping doing the same dumb stuff over and over.  You think by now that someone would tell them that Ronald Reagan is deader than a doornail and so are his outdated policies.

H & R Block mistakes cause 600,000 tax returns to be delayed.  Now we know the H and R stand for Highway Robbery.

New York Mayor Micheal Bloomberg’s ban on large sugary drinks because he says obesity is epidemic in New York has been derailed for the moment by a judge.  I believe Mr. Bloomberg’s heart is in the right place but when you are only five foot in your stocking feet, I’m sure everyone looks obese. 

Conservative columnist George Will on ABC news this past Sunday suggested that women shouldn't complain about the difficulties of juggling a family and a career because "no one can have it all."  That’s odd.  Men seem to be able to do that.  So I am assuming that ole narrow-minded, mean-spirited, egotistical George was misquoted.  He meant women can’t have it all.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Vatican Will Soon be Blowing Smoke Again.

The 115 Cardinals have locked themselves into the Sistine Chapel to begin voting on the election of a new commander-in-red shoes.  There will be lots of heated discussions and deliberations on how to handle the sex abuse scandals, corruption allegations and general direction of the church, but the most important detail to nail down first will be everyone’s hat size.

The Princes of the Church say they will stay as long as it takes, but I personally believe it won’t take long at all because they are locked in with no internet, no cell phones, no television and NO ALTER BOYS.

One of the big discussions that will take place in the Conclave is about women in the church. Not that they will change anything, but you know how a bunch of guys talk when there are no women around.

The one thing all the boys in red agree on is that whoever is handed the keys to the Pope Mobile should take his vows a little more seriously than Pope Bennie, especially the one about “Until death do us part.”   


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Around the World in Eighty Words, Or So.

It looks like the upcoming election for the new President of Venezuela is going to get nasty.  All of the front runners, Newt Gutierrez, Mitt Ramos and Rick Perez are well known for mudslinging and misinformation.

The Cardinals are all gathered at the Vatican seeing who draws the short straw to see who is next in the barrel.  They will also be electing a new Pope while they are there.   

A million people have exited Syria, unfortunately not one of them was President Bashar al-Assad.

Sulaiman Abu Ghaith, Bin Laden’s son-in-law was captured today.  He said he was on his way to the United States to be on The Family Feud.  It was going to be his family vs America.

                                                        Pondering and Musing.

Why isn’t Tom DeLay’s dumb ass sitting on a cold hard bench in prison somewhere?

Why do Supreme Court Judges have a life-time gig?  Didn’t we learn a lesson about life-time jobs from J. Edgar Hoover.  By the way you do know the J stood for Janet.

Why don’t all of the contestants, except one, die on Survivor?

Why are most of the comments on Social Media anti-social?



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My, How Time Flies

So I took a year off…Sue me!  Last year we decided to move from the big city to the country.  Wow, who knew living the simple life took so much work.

Also when I started this blog, I thought I would comment on the world around me but it felt like I got caught up in all of the crap, and I do mean CRAP, of last year’s election season.  As I have said many times before, I don’t like politics and detest politicians and it felt like every post was political.  Yes I voted for Obama and No I am not affiliated with either Republicans or Democrats.  The only party I am part of is the party of two at Red Lobster.

I thought it was appropriate to begin this process of putting thoughts to paper and sending it out to the world because my last post back in 2011 was about the long awaited and highly celebrated death of Kim Jong Il. And here we are starting out 2013 with news of Kim Jong Un meeting with that world renowned diplomat Dennis Rodman.  A man who is nicknamed “The Worm”, wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography, and of course is wonderful family man.  Ask any of his three ex-wives. 

In an interview over the week-end, Dennis said that Kim Jon was a really nice guy.  When told that he was a murderer, Dennis said “Well, he didn’t kill me.”

THIS JUST IN:

Hugo Chavez is no longer on the short list to be the next Pope. As President of Venezuela for the past 14 years, Hugo leaves a legacy of high inflation, food shortages, escalating crime and mismanagement of the country’s oil industry.  He was also famous for denouncing capitalism, imperialism and the United States, but to his defense he once called George W. Bush the devil, so he did get a few things right.  On his death bed he said his biggest regret was that he was never asked to be on Dancing With The Stars.

Speaking of politics, check out the best blog on the net.  www.juanitajean.com

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Another Dead Dictator

Evidently Kim Jong really was il.   Another in the long line of Kim Jongs is set to take over North Korea.  Kim Jong Il who succeeded Kim Jong Sick and of course before him were Kim Jong Pneumonia, Kim Jong Not Feeling Very Well, Kim Jong Just a Cold, Kim Jong Pretty Run Down and Kim Jong Runny Nose.  The schizophrenic in the family was Kim Jong I’m ok... no I’m not.

North Korea’s most inept ruler was Kim Jong Dubya.  The most flamboyant dresser was Kim Jong Gaddafi and the one most-full-of himself was Kim Jong Newt.  The one with the worst hair-do was Kim Jong The Don and the only one who loved Jesus was Kim Jong Tebow.

Kim Jong un will be the new dictator of North Korea.  I’m not sure what the un stands for but more than likely it’s either unconscious, unbalanced or unbearable.  The upside of this is that the successor wasn’t the daughter Kim Jong Palin.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

'Tis The Season

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t had much to say recently.  I am really bored with writing about the political scene as this bunch of boneheads who are running for President on the Republican side of things are too dumb to even make fun of anymore.  The jokes are just too easy especially now that The Cain Train, as ole Herman liked to refer to it, has jumped the tracks. The Cain Train sorta reminded me of Soul Train.  Lots of dancing, fun to watch but not much substance, and let’s face it, Don Cornelius is way more cool than Herman.

Then there was talk about Donald (I may have a tiny brain but I have a giant ego) Trump being the moderator at a Republican debate.  That’s like hiring an arsonist to be fire chief.  
 
The other thing that I thought I might write about is “The Season” but that would just come out in a giant Bah Humbug rant that even I wouldn’t want to read.  Besides I’m not sure if Santa reads Sleeps Til Noon or not and there is no reason to block up the chimney just for the hell of it.

Another thing that’s getting all of the attention these days is Tim (I really, really, really, really love Jesus) Tebow.  I could care less if he loves Jesus.  I didn’t like him in college and I don’t think he is a very good quarterback now..  I’ve seen a couple of his so-called miracle come-back games and the only reason the Broncos won were because of a couple of key plays that Tebow didn’t have anything to do with.  He might try thanking his defense every once in a while instead of Jesus.

Of course there is The Kardashians.  One can’t turn on the TV without hearing something about them.  They have no talent, don’t contribute anything to the world and yet they are world-wide celebrities.  Besides, I always thought the Klingons had a lot more going for them.  Hell, even the Romulans were more interesting.


Stay tuned for future adventures.