That Time Again

Time for another road trip and some lake time.  Bus is loaded and gassed and so are we. Might talk to ya next week….might not, but have a good week.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump says he is not going to show up for tonight’s Republican debate debacle because that mean ole Megyn (Faux News Bimbo) Kelly might ask him some questions he doesn’t like.  Looks like little Donnie’s wimpy, scared-of-the-dark, cry-baby, spoiled inner child has shown up.

Former Loud-Mouth-of-the-House, Tom (Hot Tub) DeLay is saying that friends of his in the F.B.I. are telling him that they are about to indict Hillary Clinton.  He said that J.Edgar called him personally and gave him the scoop.  Since it’s a fact that Tom has no friends, we know this is all bullshit.    

 

The Bundy Bunch is now in jail minus one.  Robert (Just Call Me Stupid) LaVoy Finicum is in the morgue.   Their leader Amoron Bundy said Robert died doing what he loved…being stupid.  He went on to say that he was one of the stupidest people he knew and would miss him.  Robert’s neighbors commented that when it came to stupid, Robert was the best.  I understand his favorite song was “Something Stupid.”

The Bundy leader also said he wasn’t worried about their legal status because he was sure that their lawyer Johnny (Legal Counsel For Jesus) Cochran would get them acquitted.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Muttering And Musing

Texas Lt. Governor Dan (I Am A Total Asshole) Patrick decided that those mean ole folks at Planned Parenthood should be looked into so he convinced the District Attorney in Houston to investigate them.  Well they did find wrong doing and two people got indicted.  Problem is, it was the two boneheads who made the fraudulent videos accusing Planned Parenthood of selling baby parts.  Karma strikes the GOP again.

Here is the early report on Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz being eligible to run for President.  Authorities have found that little Teddy’s dad is a Cuban, his mother is American and he is an idiot.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump told everyone that even if he shot someone in public, he wouldn’t lose a single vote.   Well yeah, his supporters love shooting people.  That’s why they all have guns and no brains. 

The Don’s supporters don’t wear t-shirts that say “I’m with stupid,” their’s say, “I Am Stupid.”

Then there was the couple who had an unplanned daughter after 40 years of marriage.  I understand they named her Cialis.

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Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wrapping Up The Week

Talk about omens. First Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump gets endorsed by Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin and then the next day gets endorsed by a dead guy….John Wayne.  I’m not sure how this happened, I’m guessing that they had a séance and ole John gave em the high sign from the other side.

When John (Civil War Veteran) McCain heard about little Sarah’s blabbering endorsement, he called Trump and offered his condolences and said unfortunately there was no antidote.  

And yesterday Willie (If It Walks Like A Duck, Talks Like A Duck, It’s Probably A) Robertson quacked out his endorsement for The Don.  This should cause quite a stir in the duck blind this week as Daddy Phil (Duck Dick Head) Robertson endorsed Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz last week.  Wow, quite a week for little Donnie with endorsements from two dead-in-the-head people and one dead guy. 
  

And then there was this.  The National Review, the country’s most conservative magazine came out and ripped Ole Donald to shreds this week. The irony of all of this is that Trump is the sole creation of the Right-Wing Republican Party and now that he is alive and well, they don’t know what to do with their monster.  In order to get their unqualified people elected these many years, they have happily climbed into bed with the Dixie-Crats, religious-right wackos and narrow-minded boneheads and the results are the sorry mess they are in today.

Boy that Karma can sure kick you in the elephant's ass sometimes.






Stay tuned for future adventures.

Thursday's Tibits

Palin Gives Trump A Blow-Job. 

Actually Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin simply endorsed Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump to be President, but I liked that headline better. Little Sarah was a no-show the next day on The Don’s campaign tour as she had to go bail her son out of jail for drunken domestic abuse with a gun.  Sarah says her son suffers from PTSD.  In this case PTSD stands for Palin’s Tacky Son’s Debachery.

Speaking of the Don, how many Corinthians does it take to prove that Trump has never read the Bible?…..TWO.  Little Donnie in giving a speech at Liberty University this week, referred to a passage in 2^nd Corinthians as two Corinthians. He said he got confused because he intended to tell his favorite joke about the two Corinthians, three Episcopalians and a Jew who walked into a bar.

When the University was asked what they thought of Dim-Wit Don’s faux pas, the spokesman referred to scripture.  I believe it is in Ignoramous 4:23 where Jesus said, “if thou can’t sayeth something nice, thou should shut the fuck up.”

On a personal note, you may have noticed that in an earlier post I incorrectly said that the Iowa Caucus was being held this week.  That was totally wrong.  I still can’t believe that my editor, assistant editor, secretary, field reporters, large research staff, chauffeur and personal valet didn’t catch the mistake.  I swear sometimes it feels like I am in here doing this all by myself.  By the way, if you look for the mistake, I’ve already changed it.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Thougts For A Tuesday

We certainly live in interesting times.  Hillary (I’m Kryptonite To Republicans) Clinton is trying to become the first woman President of the United States and Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is trying to be the first Canadian to be President of the United States.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump of course would not become the first buffoon to be President, as we have elected a number of those in the past, but would certainly qualify as the biggest. 

Speaking of first, the Iowa Caucus is coming up. The Iowa Caucus is most famous for picking losers.  Only five winners of the Iowa Caucus has ever gone on to be the nominee since 1972.  What a great claim to fame, but then when you’re Iowa, you don’t have much to brag about.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Somethings That Went Through My Mind And Came Out My Computer

A few things that happen during last night’s Republican Debate debacle.  

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz played the “Chicken Little” card and ran around the stage yelling, “They’re going to take away our guns, they’re going to take away our guns.” 

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump told Cruz to shut up and go back home to Canada where he belongs.  When Rafael said that he was a natural born citizen, Donnie said there was nothing natural about him. The Don also said after listening to Cruz, he was thinking about building a wall between the U.S. and Canada.

The stupidest quote of the night came from New Jersey Governor Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie when he said that President Obama was going to get blown out of office in November.  Evidently Cissy Poo thinks Obama is running for a third term.

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blow-hard, Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee said that we should treat poor people the same way we train dogs.  I’m sure he found that in The Bible somewhere. Probably in Ignoramus 3:16 where it says," take care of the poor until they shit in the floor."  

Senaterrible Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham came out today and endorsed Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush for President.  Lindsay also said he thought the Houston Texans would win the Super Bowl. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.