Ramblings From A Warped Mind

When the navy seals punched Osama’s ticket to the 72 Virgin Islands in the sky, they found two phones numbers in his pocket.  It has now been revealed that they were the voting numbers for Dancing With The Stars and American Idol.

I certainly agree with the White House on not releasing the death photos of Osama, I just wish they hadn’t taken them to Walgreen’s for developing.

For all of the Bush fans out there grumbling about Obama taking too much credit for getting rid of Bin Laden, did anyone hear Obama say, “And now I’m going to Disneyland.”……NO, I don’t think so.

The city of Houston looks like it going to lay off 230 fire fighters because of budget shortfalls.  Gee, it sure would have been nice to have that $10 million the city would have gotten from the red light cameras.  Remember that proposition was the brain child of a sleazebag ambulance chaser by the name of Paul Kubosh.  Gee, hope ole Kubosh’s house doesn’t catch fire.

Donald Trump has decided not to drive the pace car at the Indianapolis 500 this year.  I think this is probably a bad move on Trumps part.  This is the only race, Trump has a chance of leading a lap.

The so called first Republican Debate for President coming up in South Carolina should be a real snoozer.  Even Republicans don’t know who these guys are.  All five of these wanna-bes are mostly bitching about government intrusiveness in private markets and private lives. In other words, THE SAME OLE TIRED CRAP

GM just reported the highest profits in a decade.  Yeah, the government intrusiveness into the car industry was really a terrible move.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Pecker Heads And Other Assorted Foul Creatures

Hey it’s National Bird Day.  May 4th is the oldest day set aside for recognizing birds. It started in 1894.  I enjoy watching birds a lot.  I have a bird feeder that hangs right outside the window of my office where I watch all kinds of birds peck away at their birdseed as I peck away at my keyboard. 

I think that we can acknowledge all kinds of birds on this day.  First of all there is Big Bird. He will be 42 years old this coming Novemeber 10th.  I think he has really maintained his youthful appearance after all of these years.  I guess that’s what eating like a bird will do for you.

Also today when you are out in traffic heading home, be sure and flip the bird at everyone you see.  Today is a freebie. 

Today is good day to also acknowledge all of the Bird Brains out there. Here are a few names to get you started. Donald Trump, Glen Beck, Rush Slimebaugh, Sarah Palin, Michael Bachmann, Rick Perry, etc.  Please feel free to jump in and add your own.

Let’s not forget Lady Bird, Larry Bird, Admiral Bird, Tweety Bird, the Dodo Bird, Cuckoo Bird, Mother Goose and Daffy Duck.

Also remember that a bird in hand is better than two in the bush but can be awfully messy.  Birds that flock together make more birds. The early bird gets worms. To kill two birds with one stone takes a hell of a throw. Don’t count your chickens until they are chickens.  Let sleeping birds lie. Don’t look a gift bird in the beak. Curiosity killed the bird. There is more than one way to skin a bird.

Last but not least. Every bird has his day and that’s today.



Stay tuned for future adventures

Sometimes Sainthood Is Farther Away Than It Looks

The late Pope John Paul George and Ringo moved a major step closer to sainthood on Sunday. A French nun who suffered from Parkinson's disease but whose inexplicable cure has been attributed to John Paul George and Ringo’s intercession with God to perform a miracle, thus providing the grounds for his beatification.

Now for the late Pope JPG and R to reach sainthood, they need to find another miracle that he performed. You would think with as many people who suffer from Parkinson’s around the world, he could have healed just ONE more person. I think the late Pope John Paul George and Ringo is going to go down as a one heal wonder.

Here is a guy who needs another kind of beatification, (I am talking about beat upon with large sticks), Texas Attorney General Gregg Abbott. Anthony Graves is a fellow who spent 18 years in prison, most of it on death row, for a crime that he didn’t commit. The state is refusing to pay Mr. Graves his $80,000 a year compensation for every year that he spent in prison because an error in the order giving him his release didn’t contain the words “Actual innocence.”

On top of that the Attorney General is garnishing part of Mr. Graves’s wages for not paying child support while he was in prison. For more on this story check out http://juanitajean.com/

Just when I think people can’t get any dumber or meaner, Gregg Abbott has reminded that there are some real assholes out there. As far as Saints, I’ll take the New Orleans Saints any day of the week.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Great Song...Great Story

I wanted to share this music video by Grady Champion with everyone.  Grady is great singer who is managed by a friend of mine.  The song is “Weight of the World” and is from Grady’s new album which will be released soon but, who I want to tell you about is Nicole Marquez. 

In August of 2008 Nicole was an aspiring young dancer who fell six floors from her apartment bldg. in NY. She lay for 8 hours before being found. Nicole broke her neck, back, pelvis and ribs. She also punctured a lung.

In the hospital Nicole endured multiple surgeries, a bout of pneumonia, and a series of mini-strokes. She was also on a ventilator for over two weeks.  She is back in her home in Jackson, Mississippi learning to walk again.

Nicole is the young lady in the video




BITS AND PIECES.

I just saw a survey where it reported that most of the “Birthers” (those bone heads who don’t think Obama was born in America) are the same people who still don’t believe we landed on the moon.  Isn’t that interesting?

Let’s lay the cards on the table.  The only way Obama will ever turn the “Birthers” and other Obama Haters around is to turn white.

Texas Congressman Ron Paul plans to announce on Tuesday in Iowa that he is forming a presidential exploratory committee. Ron is a doctor and that is code for him about to give the country a colonoscopy.

Oh boy we have a new Princess.   I always liked Princess Di but I have to admit my favorite English Princess has always been Elton John.

Charlie Sheen brought his sad little addicted ego (one Goddess short, seems one dumped him) to Houston this week and according to reviews was a big hit. I’m sorry but I think that says a lot more about Houston than Charlie.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Creepy People And It Is Not Even Halloween

Okay, I will no longer refer to the so called third political group as the Tea Party.  These boneheads have absolutely nothing in common with the folks who dumped some tea in Boston Harbor these many years ago.  From now until forever or until I think of another name, I will refer to these nitwits as the Kool-Aid party and boy have they been drinkin’ it.

The Kool-Aid party is what happens when the other two parties become so sleazy, greedy and self-serving that everybody finally realizes how horrible a job they are doing.  The Kool-Aid party could also be known as The Knee Jerk party, jerk being the operative word here. You see the first people to rush in the door when this vacuum is created are always the ones with least knowledge and experience but with the biggest mouth and ego.
 
They can also be referred to as The Fault Finder party.  They have no solutions, they just point out everything that is wrong. (In their eyes of course). Fault finding takes no talent, no creativity or knowledge of anything deeper than where they had their last meal.Their motto is "No."

The Kool-Aid party thinks that they are patriotic, religious, and all around good Americans.  They are in reality narrow minded, insecure, afraid of anything they don’t understand or doesn’t look like them and are actually sheep that can be led to slaughter with the simplest of ease, like a wink and a “You betcha.”. As Bill Mahr so eloquently states it, The Kool-Aid party is Corporate America’s useful idiots.   .   


Why is it that gas prices can go up overnight but take months for them to come back down?  Could it be the oil companies are doing a little price gouging?   YOU THINK?…. Exactly how can it be that when something happens in the Middle East, the oil that is in reserve, the gas that has already been refined, goes up the next day?  Yet, months after things cool down or change, we still are paying too much at the pump. 

And don’t give me that crap about how we don’t have a high tax on gas like Europe and they have been paying over $5 dollars a gallon for years,  I don’t care… I don’t live in Europe, it has nothing to do with me.  I live here and the damn gas is a scam.  The oil companies make billions, BILLIONS and I don’t see them giving back anything. 

In fact we give them all kinds of tax breaks and subsidies.  I wrote about this last month (In a post called The Gas Scam) about the paper traders who run up the price of oil and yet never actually take possession of a single drop of crude. 

It is price gouging and there are laws against that so why doesn’t someone (insert favorite politician here) have the balls to go after them?  You think maybe some of that oil money ends up in their bank account?


I am sure plenty of good hard working Texans were praying for rain over the last week-end because Gov. Rick (I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do) Perry asked them to. The sad truth is we didn’t even get heavy morning dew.

I think the good Lord was really busy.  Every player in the NFL, two NBA players, a race car driver and three baseball players thanked him for helping them win. Then there was some guy who finally passed his automatic transmission repair course test, a lady who won $10 dollars playing the lottery, and a kid who made it another week on American Idol who also gave him full credit.  Hey, he’s got his priorities….

Stay tuned for future adventures

Playing The Trump Card

I see where Donald Trump is at the top of a lot political polls these days.  Does the name, Rudolph W. Giuliani ring any bells? I still seriously doubt that The Don will actually run.  I believe he is only seeking the publicity.  Donald has zero experience in public affairs but tons of baggage. The only thing Trump brings to the table is unmitigated gall.

He has traditionally backed Democrats and recently he has decided to become a deficit hawk, yet he has a long history of using Chapter 11.  Here is an example of how Mr Trump takes care of debt. Donald failed to pay a $40m loan to Deutsche Bank  arguing that the 2008 financial crisis was an Act of God,  In 2009, his Trump Entertainment Resorts filed for bankruptcy. I guess God isn’t into gambling either.

He has flip-flopped on every subject thrown his way in the last few months and in this day in time when every utterance and statement is captured; he will become an even bigger laughing stock in the public arena. Let’s look at what he has said so far.

In February 2009,  Trump embraced Obama’s efforts to cap the salaries of Wall Street executives whose companies were receiving government support, saying “he’s absolutely right” to institute salary limits.

In an interview on CNN in 2009 when asked about President Obama, Donald Trump said,“I really like him. We'll have to see how he does. On a personal basis, I like him.” In March of 2009, Trump said, “I think we have a president who is working very hard and trying very hard. He inherited a mess.”

You will notice that he never brought up the subject of Obama’s birth certificate until a few weeks ago.  When on ABC’s Good Morning America this week, George Steponpolis asked Trump who the investigators were that Trump had used to ferret out this information, Trump said, “None of your business.”  Actually I think it is.

Recently when asked about President Obama, Mr Trump said, “the worst president ever.”   In March of 2007, Donald said, “I think Bush is probably the worst president in the history of the United States.”

Seems The Donald had a Palin moment in his latest interview.  He didn’t know Roe vs Wade is based on “right of privacy.”   The Don also was Pro-Choice for many years, but has now decided he is Pro-Life. I would say that decision was a political one rather than change of heart. His three marriages and the fact that he was inducted into the Gaming Hall of Fame in 1995 may be a harder sell to the Family Values bunch.
Don’t you like a guy that’s decisive and sticks to his opinions no matter what? 

Donald Trump is not a self made millionaire, his father was. The reason Mr. Trump is seeking all of this publicity is that he makes most of his money from branding his name.  He licenses his name to all kinds of things but actually has nothing to do with them.  He has admitted this in numerous articles and interviews. 

Here is a man who has an unquenchable thirst for the spotlight yet is so insecure he sports the world’s worst comb-over to hide his baldness. You would think he could afford a toupee.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Earth Day: Let's Dig Some Dirt

• Today is Earth Day, a day devoted to cleaning up the environment.  A good way to help noise pollution would be to tape Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen mouths shut.   

• Charlie Sheen took his sad little show of addicted behavior to Washington D.C. this week and told everybody he was born right here in America.  I have serious doubts about that.  I’m pretty sure ole Charlie is from Neptune.

• Greg Mortenson, author of “Three Cups of Tea” and the head of Central Asia Institute, the non-profit (Because the profit went right into Greg’s pocket) charity that he founded, has been hospitalized.  Yeah, getting nailed by “60 Minutes” about lying about your so-called true life experiences and scamming folks out of millions of dollars for non-existent schools would tend to make one sick. 

• Lady GaGa went on a foul mouthed rant during an interview when she was asked about ripping off one of Madonna’s songs.  I was going to say that Lady GaGa really showed her ass but then I realized she has done that in every video she has made.

• An Oregon death row inmate is mounting an aggressive behind-bars campaign to donate his organs after he’s executed, in part to repay society for the gruesome murders of his wife and three young children.  How nice…Obviously he doesn’t have a heart and if I were them, I would pass on the brain.

• April 20th has evolved into a counterculture holiday, where people gather to celebrate and consume cannabis (that’s pot for you folks not high) When I asked a friend who partakes of the wacky weed if he celebrated 4/20 yesterday?  After a long pause he said, “I don’t remember.”

• Oh boy, an exciting new name is in the race for President.  Former Republican Governor of New Mexico Gary (4/20) Johnson, (he’s pro pot), has thrown his hat into the ring and guess what?  He says we need lower taxes and less spending.  Wow, isn’t it refreshing to hear a Republican say something diff…Wait a minute, that’s the same ole tired crap….Is there a Republican anywhere on the planet that has something new to say?…I don’t think so..

• Governor Rick (is my hair-do on fire yet?) Perry is asking that everyone pray for rain.  I’ll be glad to give it a shot but I’ve been praying for that dip-shit to move to Alaska for years so I don’t know if the good Lord is tuned to Texas or not.

Stay tuned for future adventures