Snake Oil Senators

The next time you fill up your gas tank and drain your bank account, think of these bozos. Here are the 48 Senators who voted to keep Oil subsides.

Alexander (R-TN), Ayotte (R-NH), Barrasso (R-WY), Begich (D-AK), Blunt (R-MO), Boozman (R-AR), Brown (R-MA), Burr (R-NC), Chambliss (R-GA), Coats (R-IN), Coburn (R-OK), Cochran (R-MS), Corker (R-TN), Cornyn (R-TX), Crapo (R-ID), DeMint (R-SC), Enzi (R-WY), Graham (R-SC), Grassley (R-IA), Hatch (R-UT), Heller (R-NV), Hoeven (R-ND), Hutchison (R-TX), Inhofe (R-OK), Isakson (R-GA), Johanns (R-NE), Johnson (R-WI), Kirk (R-IL), Kyl (R-AZ), Landrieu (D-LA), Lee (R-UT), Lugar (R-IN), McCain (R-AZ), McConnell (R-KY), Moran (R-KS), Murkowski (R-AK), Nelson (D-NE), Paul (R-KY), Portman (R-OH), Risch (R-ID), Roberts (R-KS), Rubio (R-FL), Sessions (R-AL), Shelby (R-AL), Thune (R-SD), Toomey (R-PA), Vitter (R-LA), Wicker (R-MS)

We may give these assholes their jobs but they sure as hell don’t work for us. So far the major oil companies have pumped around $18 million into their bank accounts. 

I’ve been making fun of ole Harold (pseudo preacher) Camping who has predicted that the world will end this Saturday and then I realized that Oprah has tapped her last show, so what is there to live for anyway.
According to Harold, at 6pm pacific standard time, the righteous will fly up to Heaven.  Hey I’m all for it and I would just like to add “AND DON’T COME BACK.”

There is actually a proposition in San Francisco on the upcoming ballot in November to ban circumcision.  If it passes, to legally get circumcised, a male would have to be 18 years of age and insane.

The Celebrity 100 list is out and there is a new number one.  Oprah has been on top for a couple of years but this year it is Lady Gaga with $900 million. I understand she is changing her name to Lady Haha as she heads for the bank.

More information is coming out about Bin Laden’s porn stash.  His favorite movies appear to have been, Deep Goat, Debbie Does Abbottabad, Girls Gone Un-Veiled and Al-Qaida, Taliban Bang.  You would have thought a guy who has eluded the world for nine years would have hidden his stash a little better.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Earth Day: Let's Dig Some Dirt

• Today is Earth Day, a day devoted to cleaning up the environment.  A good way to help noise pollution would be to tape Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen mouths shut.   

• Charlie Sheen took his sad little show of addicted behavior to Washington D.C. this week and told everybody he was born right here in America.  I have serious doubts about that.  I’m pretty sure ole Charlie is from Neptune.

• Greg Mortenson, author of “Three Cups of Tea” and the head of Central Asia Institute, the non-profit (Because the profit went right into Greg’s pocket) charity that he founded, has been hospitalized.  Yeah, getting nailed by “60 Minutes” about lying about your so-called true life experiences and scamming folks out of millions of dollars for non-existent schools would tend to make one sick. 

• Lady GaGa went on a foul mouthed rant during an interview when she was asked about ripping off one of Madonna’s songs.  I was going to say that Lady GaGa really showed her ass but then I realized she has done that in every video she has made.

• An Oregon death row inmate is mounting an aggressive behind-bars campaign to donate his organs after he’s executed, in part to repay society for the gruesome murders of his wife and three young children.  How nice…Obviously he doesn’t have a heart and if I were them, I would pass on the brain.

• April 20th has evolved into a counterculture holiday, where people gather to celebrate and consume cannabis (that’s pot for you folks not high) When I asked a friend who partakes of the wacky weed if he celebrated 4/20 yesterday?  After a long pause he said, “I don’t remember.”

• Oh boy, an exciting new name is in the race for President.  Former Republican Governor of New Mexico Gary (4/20) Johnson, (he’s pro pot), has thrown his hat into the ring and guess what?  He says we need lower taxes and less spending.  Wow, isn’t it refreshing to hear a Republican say something diff…Wait a minute, that’s the same ole tired crap….Is there a Republican anywhere on the planet that has something new to say?…I don’t think so..

• Governor Rick (is my hair-do on fire yet?) Perry is asking that everyone pray for rain.  I’ll be glad to give it a shot but I’ve been praying for that dip-shit to move to Alaska for years so I don’t know if the good Lord is tuned to Texas or not.

Stay tuned for future adventures

The Week That Was....Wasn't Too Good For Some.

This week was Kim Jon il’s birthday.  I understand he spent all day in his birthday suit.


There are four television shows on the air right now staring a Kardashian but there is not a single show on the air staring a Romulan, a Klingon, a Vulcan or anyone from the Borg Collective.  What’s up with that?

The founder of Wild Oats stores has resigned after he was arrested in a prostitution sting in Phoenix. I guess he was planning on sowing his.

A new report out says that laughing gas is returning as an option for laboring moms. Another good time for laughing gas is during conception.

Spanish media are reporting that Tour de France champion Alberto Contador will be cleared of doping charges by the Spanish Cycling Federation.  Apparently he finally passed a IQ test. 

I just saw this headline on MSNBC.  Wife stops tiger attack with wooden soup ladle.  I thought she hit him with a golf club?

Former Ohio State/Baltimore Colts quarterback/gambling fiend Art Schlichter was charged with a first-degree felony connected to over $1 million in theft to fund a ticket scam. Schlichter has been arrested 44 times for various crimes and is still scamming folks out of their money.  Who has this guy got for a lawyer?   Perry Mason?

Lady Gaga says she spent 72 hours in the egg, before the Grammys show.  Of course she had smoked a couple of joints before going in and was actually only in the egg twenty minutes.

If the Republicans in Congress were really serious about a smaller Government, they would all resign.

Spring training is about to begin for Major League Baseball. Hotels in Arizona and Florida are already completely booked…and that’s just the steroid salesmen.

A teacher in Pennsylvania has been suspended for writing about her students in a blog. She posted, “They are rude, disengaged, lazy whiners. They curse, discuss drugs, talk back, argue for grades, complain about everything, fancy themselves entitled to whatever they desire, and are just generally annoying."  Sounds to me like the students should have been suspended.


When asked his thoughts about Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi’s upcoming trial that he paid for sex with an underage girl.  Former Republican “Shirtless Chris Lee” said that would never happen here in America.  “We always ask for ID.”

Charley Sheen said in an interview this week he had some advice for Lindsay Lohan. “Work on your impulse control,” Sheen said from his been-there-done-that perspective. “Just try to think things through a little bit before you do them.”  This doesn’t even need a punch line.  I’m still laughing….
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Today's good read is another blog I think you will enjoy.  http://thiscornerofmyworld.blogspot.com/ Check it out.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Valentine Wish

Here is hoping you have a great Valentine Day
and lots of love and candy come your way.
Thanks for taking a little bit of your valuable time
to stop and read Sleeps Til Noon and this dumb little rhyme.


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

At the Grammy’s last night, the big winners were Lady Antebellum and Lady GaGa.   Somehow they completely over looked Lady Bird, Lady Marmalade, Lady Di, Lady and The Tramp, Lady Luck, Lady Chatterley, Lady Godiva, Lady Jane, Lady In The Water,  Our Fair Lady.and the Little Old Lady From Pasadena.

Egyptian President Mubarak has finally resigned.  The only troubling part is that he has named Conan O’Brien has his successor.  Haven’t we seen this before?

I see where Ron Paul just won the CPAC straw poll for President. This is a group of conservative Republicans who get together every year to try to decide who to back for President.  The only other one in contention was Mr. Ed, the talking horse. It seems they were so accustomed to being in a room full of horse’s asses that they didn’t notice Mr. Ed was a real horse.

Speaking of Ron Paul. He is the new chairman of the House Financial Services Committee's subcommittee on monetary policy.  Ron wants to go back to the Gold Standard.  The problem with that is there isn’t enough gold on the planet to back up the paper we have printed.  Yeah, good luck with that Paul.  Next I think he wants to go back to black and white TV, he says color cost too much.   I wonder why Ron never talks about his half brother/sister RuPaul?  What’s up with that?

The rumors are flying that Bret Farve will be on “Dancing With The Stars” next season.  The hang up seems to be that Bret doesn’t want a partner but would prefer using just a pole.

Republican Congressman “Shirtless Christopher Lee” joins “Shoeless Joe Jackson”, “Brainless George W. Bush”, “Heartless Dick Chaney”, “Clueless Nancy Pelosi” and “Sleepless in Seattle” in the history books.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around ole “Shirtless Chris."  This guy is worth 20 to 30 million dollars and he has to go on Craig’s list to find a date?  I'm not sure who is more clueless, Chris or the kid who was just arrested in Florida that went on Face Book to find a hit man to kill his girlfriend.  Don’t they know how the internet works?

NBC's America's Got Talent was in town holding auditions for its hit show this weekend and  I missed it.  They had the auditions in the mornings.  Damn…. I do believe America’s Got Talent, unfortunately none of it is on that show.

Here is a tweet from Lindsay Lohan about the dress she wore to court. “What I wear to court shouldn’t be front page news. It’s just absurd.”   No, what is absurd is what you wore to court….

Today's good read is Bury Your Dead by Louise Penny.  Excellent writing and a good story.  If you like murder mysteries, you will very much enjoy this.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Straight Talk About The Military's Gay Policy

According to a story on the net, Senator John McCain and his wife Cindy are on opposite sides of the policy for gays in the military.  John prefers “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”  Cindy likes “I’m gay and I have a gun, so shut the fuck up.”

As I have reported in a previous post, Lady GaGa spoke before a congressional hearing on the policy of gays in the military early this year.  She is proposing they change it to “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.”

I understand that Elton John has weighed in on the “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.” and wants to change it to “Oooh do tell. Where did you get that fabulous scarf?”

 The late Jerry Farwell said he thought the policy ought to be “If God hates gays, then so should Uncle Sam” then he died and went to hell.

Well it seems ole “W” didn’t write everything in his book after all. More than likely the only thing George actually wrote in “Decision Points” is his name at book signings. Sources have found 16 instances of similarities between Bush passages and previously written books, newspaper or magazine articles.  It appears that George lifted quotes from other people and used them as if he said them and put in conversations with people that never happened.  Sounds pretty much like his presidency to me.

Mitt Romney is not running for president, yet but, a number of big donors have given $100,000, or more, to Mr. Romney.  The problem is that only takes care of his hair stylist.

Voters in Arizona just approved medical marijuana this past election.  They also have the toughest immigration laws in the country.  Obviously these people don’t know where pot comes from.

Speaking of the election, it’s been almost two weeks since the Republicans swept into office and I haven’t seen one thing change.




Stay tuned for future adventures and check for more Sleeps Til Noon at www.hotslop.com