Harrumph Day

The biggest humps of the day are the eighty House Kochsuckers (AKA Tea Partiers) who have held up the Government for the past couple of weeks.  You can tell the Kochsuckers from the other members as they all have that swarmy TV preacher look.  They usually have a condescending smirk on their face that says, “I groped the choir leader’s wife before I laid that hell fire and damnation sermon on ya.”

Now the folks who vote and support these boneheads are not called Kochsuckers.  They are called STOOPID.  You can pick these assholes out of crowd also.  They usually have a misspelled sign in one hand, a confederate flag in the other and a 45 strapped to their hip.  They also show a lack of empathy, brain cells and teeth.  

Local Dallas ambulance chaser and Texas Senaterrible little Teddy (Mad Hatter of TheTea Party) Cruz and Texas Congressmoron Louie (Single Digit I.Q.) Gohmert were caught having a secret session with 15 or 20 other conservative Republican House Kochsuckers at a Mexican restaurant this week. Talk about Dumber and Dumbest. These two boneheads couldn’t plot their way out of the men’s room with a road map and a satellite GPS system.

Texas Lt. Governor David (If You’re White, You’re Alright) Dewhurst and Congressmoron Steve ( I Haven’t Got a Clue) Stockman are the latest Republicans to drag out the impeach Obama crap.  Evidently they both believe that being black and winning the last election was an impeachable offense.

The folks in Palo Alto CA, are up in arms over the fire chief using the emergency broadcast system to announce a charity pancake breakfast. I had no idea people disliked pancakes that much.

I have often wondered how the Christian Right which is very conservative, reconciles that by any standard Jesus would be labeled a liberal. But then again, not much of anything they do makes much sense.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Far Right Reverand Rick

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Rick( I saw the light and my hair-do looks great)Perry is coming to town to do his Oral Roberts impersonation. As I understand it, he will be healing the sick, raising the dead, making it rain,(Oops, strike that. That didn’t work) turning water into wine, gathering up large quantities of cash and collecting votes.

This is all going to take place at Reliant Stadium. You know if he really wanted to get a vote or two, he would turn the Houston Texans into winners, but I don't think even “Hair-do” can pull that one off.

I’m sure he will have his six-guns with him to take care of any non-believers, gays, immigrants, or any welfare recipients who might slip through the security of The American Family Association. They are the hate group out of Tupelo, Mississippi that is organizing and footing the bill for this little shindig. They have a long history of making inflammatory statements about abortion and gay rights.

Little known fact about Rick, his favorite hymn is “Stairway To Heaven” and many years ago was a member of The First Church of The Frisbee. They believe when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get down.
For lots more good stuff on Rick (Serial Politician) Perry’s blatant smoozing of the Religious Right see Juanita's blog or this great blog 

Someone claiming to be a psychic said they had vision of multiple dead bodies at farm house in Liberty County, but when the F.B.I and other law enforcement officers checked  it out they only found the weekly meeting of the Liberty County Republicans.

News flash…Congressman Tony (teeny weeny) Weiner’s wiener has come out of hiding. An explicit photo of Weiner’s wiener has emerged on the internet. When Mrs Weiner, who is pregnant and I assume it is by this same celebrity wiener, was asked about this latest photo, she replied, “ I don’t know why everyone is so upset, it’s really such a little thing..”

On thing you can say about Jack Kevorkian, Dr. Death, not to be confused with a proctologist I once knew called “Dr. Depth,” is that he was never sued by a patient for malpractice.

Poor Sarah has more problems with her Hysterical Bus Tour. Her bus only turns to the right and she has been going around in a circle for a week   Sarah said since the tour was half over she would probably just quit, that was what she usually did when things weren’t going her way.

Looks like ole Newton Leroy Gingrich’s campaign will have to be born-again just like him. The entire top echelon of Niwit’s presidential campaign resigned this week in a stunning mass exodus. I understand Nitwit was wandering around his office mumbling, “Help me Jesus.”

Delta Airlines has been charging soldiers for their extra bags coming home from deployment. Several of 34 soldiers who had an extra bag were forced to pay $200 of their own money in fees in order to make their connecting flight to Atlanta.… I’m glad I don’t fly much anymore but when I do, I can guarantee you it won’t be on Delta.





Stay tuned for future adventures