HARRRUMP DAY

 

Speaking of humps.

I saw where My Pillow Guy Michael (My pillows are soft and so is my head) Lindell has declared that Daylight Savings time is a socialist plot and people shouldn’t observe it. I’m not sure where that incredibly stupid idea came from, but I’m pretty sure what little Mikey really wants is for us to turn the clocks back to 1950 or so.

Another hump of the day is North Carolina’s Congressmoron Madison (My legs don’t work and neither does my brain) Cawthorn.  Mobile Madison was caught on video admitting he carries multiple weapons in his wheelchair into the U.S. Capitol. We already knew he doesn’t carry any common sense into the building.

Also, Tampa Bay QB Tom (Super Bonehead) Brady ruined a lot of folk’s football plans this week by unretiring.  I really don’t know why I don’t like Tom; I just don’t.  Come to think of it, I didn’t like any of The Brady Bunch either.

Joining the lump of humps is Florida Governor Ron (Demented) DeSantis who is about to sign Florida’s Don’t Say Gay bill.  The bill would ban discussions around gender and sex in classrooms and keep the talk in restrooms, playgrounds, and back alleys.

 

Today is also National Panda Day. I will be spending the day pandering.

 

Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day when we celebrate St. Patrick banishing all snakes from Ireland. Of course, there were no snakes in Ireland to banish. The IRA hadn’t formed yet.  I understand when St. Patrick was first confronted with this fact, he replied “You all can kiss my Blarney Stone.” I plan on celebrating the day green with envy thinking about leprechauns and their pot of gold.

 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures