Another Week In The Memory Bank

Another Republican Weenie has once again flashed his weenie. Pennsylvania GOP Chair Val (How Do Like My Penis) DiGiorgio has zipped up his pants, put down his camera and resigned.  Two hours after the word hit the street that Virile Val had sent pictures of his favorite part of his anatomy to a woman who was running for city council in Philadelphia. I guess he wanted to be named Prick of Philly.

Who does Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump have to sexually assault to get the media to talk about it…. MOTHER TERESA?  None of the Sunday morning talks shows mentioned the new accusation with the exception of MSNBC. Or maybe the question is how many need to accuse him before it sticks. Right now the number stands at 17. What is the tipping point. Of course we have to remember it took 35 women to finally bring Bill (Want To Have A Drink) Cosby to trial.

Speaking of Trumpy Poo. He was asked by a reporter if he had a exit plan if he decided to go to war with Iran. He said, “No. I don’t need a plan.” He might check in with former President George (All Hat And No Cattle) Bush how that worked out for him in Iraq. Or better yet some of the men still deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. I believe the no exit plan is also known as the General Custer battle plan.

Trump’s chief of protocol (whatever the hell that is) Sean (I’ll Whip Them Into Shape) Lawler has had to resign. He is alleged to have harassed and discriminated his staff. It seems Scummy Sean carried a whip around in his office to intimidate co-workers.

Trump spent the week at the annual G-20 conference, formerly known as the “Summit on Financial Markets and World Economy. I understand he gave a seminar on “Scams, Schemes and Cons That Worked For Me”. According to others there, Trump spent time cozying up with his boss Vladimir (RootinTootin) Putin and joking about getting rid of journalist.

I watched both nights of the debate. I thought Harris and Warren came out looking the best. In fact I didn’t think there were any real clunkers at all with the exception of Chuck (God I Love To Hear My Self Talk) Todd. This bonehead is the most arrogant know-it-all on TV since Bill (Bully Boy) O’Reilly  faded into obscurity.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

HEADS UP

It started a while back but came to head about 4 months ago. I ended up with a golf ball size tumor on the side of my head. We finally got an appointment with a doctor in May and discover it was a type of skin cancer. The treatment was to remove it.

 We then met with a surgeon in Nacogdoches, Dr. Brett Shirley. I liked him very much and he did the first surgery June 5^th at the Nacogdoches Medical Center. 

To remove it, he had to carve a very large and deep hole in my head about the size of a moon pie. I was then outfitted with a wound vac to cover the hole and help it heal.  I had to go three days a week to have the dressing changed.

The downside to the wound vac is that I have a tube running out of the side of my head into a cannister that I have carry with me at all times. I look like I am being assimilated into the Borg. It is electrical so it is plugged into a wall socket. When I need to travel further than the couch in front of the tv, it has a battery that takes over.

Last week I had a P.E.T scan done to see if they had removed all of the cancer and to see if it had spread elsewhere. The results showed that Dr. Brett had got it all and it was nowhere to be found. I AM CANCER FREE.  Yea!

Yesterday I went back for skin graft surgery to cover up the hole in my head. Fortunately, none of my few brain cells that had survived my early rock and roll years had leaked out. The wound vac was put back on for one more week and then this episode is thankfully over.

I want to thank Dr. Brett Shirley and his staff at Piney Woods Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery for doing a great job. They are the best. I want to thank Hannah at Wound Care for doing an excellent job of changing the dressing on my wound vac and all of the nurses at Nacogdoches Medical Center for being very caring and doing a super job.

Most of all I want to thank by best friend, partner-in-crime and beautiful wife Diana for taking such good care of me. I couldn’t have made it without her.

I am also grateful that this whole episode, with two minor exceptions, were almost pain free. This is good because, and I know you people who know me personally probably won’t believe this, but when it comes to pain, I am a REAL WEENIE.

All in all, I think the hardest hits of the whole thing were to my billfold and my hairdo.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Things That Floated Through My Mind And Came Out My Computer

The rumor is that Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump is thinking of replacing Sahara (Pouty Pinocchio) Hucksterbuck with Mr. Ed the talking horse as his press secretary. Makes sense because he would have an even bigger horse’s ass delivering his lies every day.

I understand in the next election, if you vote for a Democrat, they will give you a “I Voted” sticker and if you vote for a Republican, they will give you a “I’m With Stupid” T-shirt.

Many in Washington now refer to Trump as King Ex-Lax since everything he touches turns to shit.

Kentucky Senator Mitch (I’m Just A Good Ole Asshole) McConnell is evidently going for the Charlie Manson Man of The Year award by dragging his feet on the first-responders money.  Mitch and the little wife Elaine(I’m A Crook, So I Married A Crook) Chao, who is Secretary of Transportation,are the new Bonnie and Clyde of the 21^st century.

The Strawberry Moon was last night, and the True Believers are saying that the Rapture will began today. Supposedly the Rapture is when all the Christians will be swept up into Heaven and everybody else will be left behind.  Hey I’m all for it. I’ll be glad when all those judgmental hypocrites are gone.

Mike (Don’t Ask Me) Pompeo Secretary of misSTATEments went on all the Sunday talk shows and proved that he is a total buffoon. He didn’t have answer for anything. Having Pompeoious as Secretary of State is like making Inspector Clouseau head of the F.B.I.

Stay tuned for future adventures

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A Personal Birthday Card

To the most 

Un-american, unpatriotic, uninteresting. uninformed, unknowledgeable, unbalanced,unaccomplished,unbelievable,uncivilized,uncouth,unfriendly,ungenerous, unhealthy,unintelligent,unfaithful,unlawful,unlearned,unmanly,unpleasant, unprincipled,unteachable asshole on the planet.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump

Here is hoping you have a very,very,very UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Oh look, Donnie is wearing his birthday suit and you can see why I call him the LITTLEST DICK-tator.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Bubbles From My Soap Box

President Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump is now being known as Dead-Beat In Charge. It seems that Delinquent Donnie owes ten cities money from rally security. The tab is up around $800,000.00.  Some of the cities invoices date back to 2016. I say we bring in repo man throw his ass in jail.

Despicable Donnie admitted on National TV yesterday that his real name is Benedict Arnold Trump. He also stated that the latest pol numbers showing him being beaten by every Democratic candidate are fake and besides people in Poland can't even vote. 

Right-wing nut Reverend E.W (That's Eeeewww) Jackson is having a hissy fit with U.S. embassies flying the rainbow flag. Jackson declaring the flag was no different than the Confederate flag to him. I'm not sure what that means other than he is just another ignorant bigoted racist asshole. 

Ole E.W. is the pastor at The Called Church. They rent a room at a Chesapeake hotel where he preaches, spews forth hate every Sunday.  I'm assuming E.W. said that God called him and told him to start a church. I'm pretty sure it was a Microsoft robo call from India telling him he had a virus.

Knoxville, Tenn Detective Grayson (I Have) Fitts gave a sermon at his church "calling on the government and police to enforce the death penalty for homosexuals." Godawful Grayson quoted Leviticus in his rant. Leviticus was of course written by the Bible's number one homophobic, Moses. Mr. Fitts is now sitting at home where can read the bible 24 hours a day.

Radio host and Right Wing Nut pastor Rick ( I'm Just Nuts) Wiles said yesterday that "meatless burgers are part of a Satanic plot to turn people away from God." He said if you are eating vegetarian patties, you are rejecting God. He said it is right here in Bible, Ignoramus 12: 24  "Not only are streets paved with Gold, but there is a hamburger joint on every corner."

Sarah (Huckster) Sanders says she is leaving the White House. My question is, "Why would I believe anything she says?"

Stay tuned for future adventures

Preachers, Politicians And Pimps

Once again the usual disclaimer: There are no stories about pimps here.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump said this week in an interview that he didn't join the military during the Vietnam war because "he wasn't a fan of that war". Of all the incredibly stupid things he has said, this is definitely another one. Nobody is a fan of war...Well maybe John (Bombs Away) Bolton. Of course John is only a fan of starting them, not fighting in them. John also used a number of deferments to stay out of the Vietnam war. 

Nancy (Speaks The Loudest In The House) Pelosi says she doesn't want Trump impeached, she wants him in prison. Personally I want him tarred and feathered, run out town on a rail and then sent to prison. Then we impeach Mike (Mr. Homophobic) Pence and Attorney General William (I Cheated To Pass The) Barr

I understand Joe (My Baggage Outweighs My Experience) Biden has reversed his position on the Hyde Amendment.  As fast as that came, I think it might be a little slow and way too late.

It seems Kenneth (The Lord of Religious Con Men) Copeland is having a little trouble explaining why he needed another jet plane. Kenneth said this was a larger plane than his other ones and he yneeded it to do his work. Of course his work is the same as Franklin (My Daddy Was A Dufus,But I'm A Real Asshole) Graham, Joel (Jesus Loves Me, But God Thinks I Need To Be Rich) Osteen and Jerry (Daddy Was A Jerk and So Am I)Falwell Jr. That is scamming smucks out of their hard earned money. That really doesn't bother me because if people are stupid enough to drop their money into these bonehead's collection plates, then they deserve to be taken. What pisses me off is that these con men preach politics and don't pay a penny in taxes.

Think of all money the Government would have to fix all the things that they say they don't have the money to fix if the Mega Churches paid their fair share of taxes. To be fair you have include Exon, General Electric, Amazon, Wal-Mart and Big Pharma also.



Stay tuned for future adventures

Let's All Pray

I see where Franklin (Daddy Was A Dufus, But I Am An Asshole) Graham is calling for a day of prayer this Sunday for the President.

Well we could all pray that he stops being an ignorant narcissistic jerk and stop running the country into the ground. That he stops being a sexual abusing womanizing asshole and he stops being a lying conman and it would be nice if he stops colluding with the Russians. I think It would be nice if he stopped surrounding himself with crooks and corrupt aides. And finally it would be great if he stopped sucking up to tyrannical dictators around the world. 

 Mostly I’ll be down on my knees praying that he DROPS DEAD……

Stay tuned for future adventures