Minnesota's Mental Case

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Michele (I like welfare, I just don't want you to have it) Bachmann has forcefully denounced the Medicaid program for swelling the "welfare rolls."  It was reported yesterday the mental health clinic run by her husband has been collecting annual Medicaid payments totaling over $137,000 for the treatment of patients since 2005.   I’m guessing that Michele met her husband at the clinic.  Probably one of those patient falls in love with the doctor love stories but by her actions lately, it is obvious that she has had a relapse.

This week on Good Morning America, Michele ( I make Sarah look like a genius) Bachmann used the worn-out Tea Party phrase, “Take America Back.” So once again I will say this. Michele unless you are a Native American, SHUT THE FUCK UP….

 
It appears as if Sarah and Michele have more in common than I thought.  Here is a quote from her former chief of staff, “'If she is unable, or unwilling, to handle the basic duties of a campaign or congressional office, how could she possibly manage the magnitude of the presidency?” I think neither one of these boneheads really want to do any work, they just love the spotlight.

.She was still contending that John Quincy Adams was a founding father of the country and worked tirelessly during the Revolutionary war.  Of course he was only eight years old at the time.  I guess to get into George Washington’s army you had to be taller than the sign that said, “You have to be this tall to fight the British.”

According to PolitiFact, a Pulitzer Prize-winning fact-checking Web site, Michele has gotten her facts wrong more times than any other candidate running.

 
In the running of 45th Presidents Cup, so far there are two Mormons, two morons, (Perry would make 3) and a room full of mediocre candidates whose name recognition is below 2 %. Boy this one is going to be a real nail biter.

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You don’t want to get on the wrong side of the law in Massachusetts.  They apparently never give up.  They have been after a guy for five years for failing to appear for jury duty.  Come to find out he has had a pretty good reason for shirking his duties; he’s been dead for five years.  I didn’t say the law was very smart, I said they apparently never give up.

 Today's good read is Blood Trust by Eric Van Lustbader. This is a fast paced, excellent political thriller.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Queen Of The Tea Party Comes Out

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Michele (I want to be President of this great country even though I’m not sure what country this is) Bachmann has kicked her presidential run off with a bang today.  She said in Waterloo, Iowa when she was announcing her candidacy "Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."

Unfortunately that particular John Wayne was from Winterset Iowa which is across the state.  The John Wayne of Waterloo is John Wayne Gacy, serial killer of 33 teenage boys. I wonder if Michele plans on hiring a speech writer soon that has heard of the Internet and Google?  

Here are a few other quotes from Michele (I’m even dumber than Sarah) Bachmann that will give you a little idea of how tuned in she is to the environment. This is what Michele said last week, "Look, I love the environment. I love clean air, clean water. I'm a sportswoman. I love the outdoors.”   Uh, right…this what she has said in the past.

• 'I came away with the idea that [the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge] is the most perfect place on the planet to drill.' [8/13/08]

• 'The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.' [3/15/08]

• 'There isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful.' [4/22/09]

Of course this is what scientist claim about carbon dioxide.  They say it is toxic to the heart and causes diminished contractile force (whatever that means) but hey, what do they know? I can see why big oil loves this pin-head.

Former Governor of Illinois, Rod (Does anyone have a comb?) Blagojevich, was convicted on 17 out of 20 charges against him yesterday.  The former governor said he was very disappointed. He thought maybe they could run the table but that 17 out of 20 wasn’t bad.  When the jury was polled, they were unanimous on him having the world’s worse hair-do.

Bristol (I thought they said practice being obstinate) Palin has somehow managed to cram her vast knowledge of life into a 255 page memoir titled “Not Afraid Of Life.”  Of course 250 pages are dedicated to getting laid and running down Levi Johnson, the lay-er.  The real title should be “Get Drunk, Get Knocked-up, Get Rich.” 


Well I survived my 50th high school reunion in pretty good shape.  I was right to be a little nervous about there being a lot of old people there.  Not only were they old but they all seemed to have memory problems, most of them vaguely remembered me but they were all adamant that I wasn’t the valedictorian of my class.  I tried to explain that I helped our English teacher out occasionally and was vowel custodian.

The football coach was still pissed after all of these years and wanted me to bring back the equipment and my uniform.  The old high school was no longer standing but neither were most of the graduates.  I did get a picture of the homecoming king and queen.  They looked just as happy as they did on prom night.

I also got a photo of one my teachers who taught Health. 

All in all it was a fun time.  There were no fistfights, gun fights or knife fights but there was lots of shouting matches from those who were too vain to wear their hearing aids




Stay tuned for future adventures.

TGIF...This Governor Is Flakey

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Texas Governor Rick (I’m a traveling man) Perry wants to hide his travel expense from the public.  He says it has something to do with security reasons.  Yeah, his security I would imagine.  Slick Rick says that as everyone knows, education is at the top of his list and he has traveled to Africa a number of times to study their great education system.  He said, “Hell their kids are usually out of school and working over there by the fourth grade.”  When someone pointed out that Africa was a continent and not a country, he said, “Well I was pretty sure they weren’t a vowel.”

Lindsay Lohan was called into court to explain how she tested positive for alcohol while on house arrest.  She said it was easy, you just take  4 cups of ice cubes,12 ounces of grape fruit soda or canned lemon lime, ¾ cup of tequila, 6 ounces of canned lime concentrate frozen and Wedges of one lime

When Crystal Harris, the woman who just broke up with Hugh Hefner was asked if Hef’s prenuptial contract was the deciding factor in her breaking it off.  She said, “No, not at all, it wasn’t his pre-nup, it was his getting it up.”

When Hefner was asked why Crystal gets to keep the $90,000 diamond engagement ring and the Bentley?  He said, “Who’s Crystal?”  

Researchers at Harvard University spent 20 years tracking long term food effects and have found that regular consumption of potato chips, French fries and sugared beverages were most to blame for slow and steady weight gain and that people who ate yogurt, fruits, vegetables, nuts and whole grains either lost weight or gained the least.  DUH….

Under the heading, “What’s wrong with this picture?” .Over thirty corporations in the good ole USA spent more on compensation for their top executives than they paid in taxes in 2010.  Thank you Juanita…And I’m with Juanita, why isn't the Tea Party wacko’s pissed about this? 

Kim Kardashian was sick and tired of defending her famous derriere so she decided to get a butt X-ray but unfortunately the X-ray machine didn’t have a wide-angle lens.  Why are these people on TV?  




 Stay tuned for future adventures

Harrumph Day

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In Bristol (pseudo virgin) Palin’s memoir, “Not Afraid Of Life,” she tells how she lost her virginity.  I don’t understand that term.  To say that you lost your virginity implies that someday you might find it again.  At one point in the book she laments that Levi Johnson, her boy friend, has “stolen” her virginity.  Once again that seems to insinuate that maybe she can get it back.  I don’t think so. 

Senator John (I'm just a grumpy old man) McCain is blaming the Arizona wildfires on illegal immigrants. He offered no evidence or proof to back up his statement.  He also said he was pretty sure they were involved in the housing meltdown and financial collapse of 2008, his not winning the Presidential election, the Arizona Cardinals not making the NFL play-offs last year, the national deficit,  the tsunami in Japan, the high cost of gasoline, most of this year’s tornados and 9/11.  John said he first began mistrusting the Latin Americans when he fought in the Spanish American War of 1898.

A dating website called Beautiful People.com has just dumped 30,000 people because they say the applicants did not meet their standard of beauty.  Let’s see, you are on a dating website because you can’t meet anyone on your own and now the website rejects you because you are just too damn ugly.

The website notified everyone they dumped by email. Here is a copy of an email they sent out: “Dear Anthony Weiner. When we asked for head shots, we meant a picture of your face."

Newton Leroy (Where’d everybody go?) Gingrich’s campaign finance team resigned this week following last week’s resignation of his entire campaign staff. Nitwit has vowed he will continue his run for the Presidency and that he and his chief adviser, Cruella ( I love the smell of Tiffany's in the morning) Gingrich, will continue to shop for voters until they drop.

JP Morgan Chase  has agreed to pay $153.6 million to settle civil fraud charges that it misled buyers of complex mortgage investments just as the housing market was collapsing. That is a little less than what JP Morgan makes in a week.  Yeah. that’ll teach em’.

What? The Supreme Court sides with Big Business…Who would have ever thought  that they would side with Wal-Mart?  A couple of years ago Big Business was too big to fail; now Big Business is too big to sue.



Today's good read is Sweet Jiminy by Kristin Gore.  An excellent novel about a southern born law student opening up a decades-old murder that took place during the Civil Rights movement.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Week, New Day...Same Ole Stuff

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Remember Congressman Paul (The GOP Path to Prosperity leads to my house) Ryan, who asked Americans to make sacrifices on about everything from education to Medicare. Well it appears in his GOP plan for cutting government spending he is preserving lucrative tax subsidies for oil, mining and energy industries.

Now here is the really interesting part, a financial disclosure that was made public this past week show that he and his wife Janna own stakes in four family companies that are involved with the energy companies that benefit from these tax subsidies in his budget plan. Isn’t that nice and so very hypocritical. One more example of a lying politician filling up his bank account while draining ours.

A New Jersey man who was trying to save a rattlesnake from being run over in traffic was bitten by the snake…. I said he was from New Jersey.

What is dumber than a Vancouver hockey fan?....ABSOULTLY NOTHING….

“America’s Most Wanted” ended it’s run this past Saturday. Thank goodness, now maybe I can get out of the house occasionally….

Here are a few choice words that come to mind on a summer’s day in Houston. Hotter n’ hell, hot to trot, hot dog, hot potato, hot shot, I’m hot, he’s hot, she’s hot, that’s hot, strike while the iron’s hot, hot tamale, hot tub, hot house, hot water, hot topic, hot wheels, hot air, hot stuff, hot rod, hot legs, hot line, Hot Time In The Summertime, hot blooded, hot weather, hot headed, hot n’ nasty, hot n’ heavy, hot pants, Hot Pastrami, hot wire, hot and cold, Hot Smoke & Sasafrass, hot diggity, hot cakes, hot sauce, hot air balloon, hot chocolate, Some Like It Hot, hot pursuit, hot foot, hot bed, hot zone, hot coals, hot damn, hot time in the old town tonight, and of course the all time favorite, hot enough for ya?



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Boobs And Boobs

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 From The Crusades which killed millions of innocent people, to accusations of sympathizing with the Nazi’s, and years of scandalous child abuse, the Catholic Church has finally drawn the line. They have said NO to participating in a fund raiser with Hooter’s Restaurants.

Just when you think true love will conquer all, reality steps in and breaks your heart.  Hugh Hefner who is 85 and Crystal Harris who is 25 have broken their engagement.  It was an age thing. Hugh thought she was only 19. 

Spiderman the Musical finally opened on Broadway.  Estimated cost is around $70 million so far.  Man they should have used Lee Majors and saved $64 million dollars.

I think Hollywood has gone a little over the top with comic book hero movies.  So far they have done Superman, Batman, Spider Man, Iron Man, The Elephant Man and The Rain Man.  Now they are down to The Maytag Repair Man, The Door Man, The Maintenance Man, The Foreman, The Oil Man, The Tax Man and of course The Man.

Newton Leroy (Hen Pecker-head) Gingrich said he felt “liberated” by the resignations of his campaign staff. Now instead of having to listen to all of those experts telling him what to do, he only has to follow orders from Cruella Gingrich. 

 
Beef-Shish-Ke-Bob, the Human Resource director for Al-Qaida announced a new leader today.   Ayman al-Zawahri has agreed to a two year or death contract; which ever comes first.  Critics say he is not as charismatic as Bin Laden but he’s just as wacky.

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrumph Day

''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''
—George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2000







George Bush. "All Hat and No Cattle.



Here is the real question.  Do we really want another inept, incompetent, out of his league clown from Texas as President?

Rick Perry, “All Hair and No Clue.”

Newton Leroy (One is the loneliest number) Gingrich vowed Sunday night in Los Angles to continue fighting for the Republican nomination for president, "no matter what it takes." He said he is hitting the campaign trail first thing next week or for sure the week after.  Their first stop is Rodeo Drive, then on to Tiffany’s, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Macy’s.

Nitwit and his campaign staff had a disagreement on which direction his campaign was going.  Nitwit said he thought they were going to Washington and the staff said they thought the campaign was going to Hell in a hand basket. .

 
I’m a little surprised that Nancy (Big Mouth, Little Brain) Pelosi wants Congressman Tony (I’ll show you mine if you will…oh what the heck, here is mine)Weiner to step down.  As long as he is in the spotlight most of her dumb comments go unnoticed. 

The upcoming Sarah (I may not look dumb, but I is) Palin documentary is entitled “The Undefeated.”  What? THE UNDEFEATED…? Did I miss something?  Is Sarah Palin Vice-President and John McCain President?   I don’t think so.  I believe a more appropriate title would have been “The Uncompleted” since she can’t seem to finish anything…you know, like her term as Governor of Alaska.  Critics of the documentary say Sarah attacks the Republican Old Guard.   Excuse me, like there is a “New Guard” in the Republican Party.  I don’t think so. GOP…Grumpy Old People.

Congressman Tony (Teeny Weeny) Weiner is taking a leave of absence to seek professional help.  Word is he’s taking a Photoshop class. 

The U.S. Sergeant at Arms Office confirmed Monday that the Senate's website had been hacked this past weekend.  An office official said it was mostly just inconvenient.  Well yeah, like these boneheads know anything.

The so called Republican debate Monday night should have been called a meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society.  I am pretty sure they were all holding hands and blowing kisses at one another when it was over. 

 

Bret (From Cheese-head to Dick-head) Farve sorta acted like he was retiring yesterday.  He said, “I’ve been beat up enough.”  Of course the father of the girl Bret sent his last cell phone text to didn’t agree.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

PALINTOLOGY...The Study of Sarah: The Sequeal

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Here are a few thoughts about Sarah Palin. I know there are a lot of folks out there that think she ought to be President. That’s fine, what a boring world it would be if we all thought the same way. I don’t think so and here are some of the reasons I think she would be a terrible President.

Let’s look at her governing record. She was mayor of a small town (less than 10,000 people) and then Governor of Alaska, for half a term. SHE QUIT…..

Now let’s take a look at Alaska, the largest state in the union. Did you know it has the smallest population? Rhode Island which is the smallest state has about 350,000 thousand more people than Alaska does. There are over 60 cities in the US that have bigger populations than the entire state of Alaska. Sorry but there are many mayors in the country that govern with much larger budgets and have far more governing experience than Sarah. The bottom line is they completed their terms. SHE QUIT…..

She has the propensity to stick her foot in her mouth more often than Nancy Pelosi or Joe Biden and that’s saying something. I was going to say she lies a lot but she’s a politician and they all lie a lot, so that’s moot. She is great at throwing out little sound bites and talking points that some hack has thought up in a lobbyist’s back room to keep from talking about real issues, but I have yet to hear her say anything that sounded like an original idea. Of course if you ask a Republican how to cure cancer, they will tell “Cut taxes.” It’s their only answer.

Now here is the real deal. Sarah doesn’t want to be President; she just wants you to want her to be President. She doesn’t want to be President for all the reasons above. Being President is a hard job and as her past shows, she can’t handle or doesn’t want to do the work. While she was Governor she commented quite often to close colleagues that she hated her job. Remember SHE QUIT.

She doesn’t even care much for her family except when the camera are rolling. During the campaign for governor she told one close aide to not confide in Todd, her husband, because he couldn’t be trusted.

Whether or not you agree with Sarah about Paul Revere or believe that she was technically right as a few historians have stated, you have admit she looked and sounded like she did not have a clue what she was talking about. In fact, the interviewer in Boston never asked her about Paul Revere, he asked her how the trip was going.

What she did was answer the wrong question. Can you imagine how screwed up things could get if a head of state asked her one question and she responded with her usual off-the-cuff rambling answer to a question that wasn’t even asked? I shudder to think of how dangerous our countries security could be affected because Sarah wants to play at being President.

She is just as ignorant of the history of Alaska. In her resignation speech she says, “We were purchased as a territory because of a member of President Abe Lincoln's cabinet, William Seward.” Of course President Lincoln had been dead for two years when this took place and Seward was a member of President Andrew Johnson cabinet. Sarah’s resignation speech was so incoherent that even her staff wasn’t sure what she said.

Don’t get me wrong, Sarah is not stupid; she just doesn’t know anything about governing, foreign policy, budgets, history, or public service. I think Sarah is a self-serving, cold calculating, narcissistic woman who will do or say anything to get what she wants. MONEY AND FAME. 

I could care less if Sarah makes a gazillion dollars selling books, doing TV shows or making self-serving speeches to who ever is willing to pay her. She can run her mouth as long as she wants. I just don’t want her running the country.


Today's good read is Blind Allegiance To Sarah Palin by Frank Bailey.  It is a fascinating look at Sarah's Campaign for Governor as told by one of her most trusted staff members. 





 Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Far Right Reverand Rick

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Rick( I saw the light and my hair-do looks great)Perry is coming to town to do his Oral Roberts impersonation. As I understand it, he will be healing the sick, raising the dead, making it rain,(Oops, strike that. That didn’t work) turning water into wine, gathering up large quantities of cash and collecting votes.

This is all going to take place at Reliant Stadium. You know if he really wanted to get a vote or two, he would turn the Houston Texans into winners, but I don't think even “Hair-do” can pull that one off.

I’m sure he will have his six-guns with him to take care of any non-believers, gays, immigrants, or any welfare recipients who might slip through the security of The American Family Association. They are the hate group out of Tupelo, Mississippi that is organizing and footing the bill for this little shindig. They have a long history of making inflammatory statements about abortion and gay rights.

Little known fact about Rick, his favorite hymn is “Stairway To Heaven” and many years ago was a member of The First Church of The Frisbee. They believe when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get down.
For lots more good stuff on Rick (Serial Politician) Perry’s blatant smoozing of the Religious Right see Juanita's blog or this great blog 

Someone claiming to be a psychic said they had vision of multiple dead bodies at farm house in Liberty County, but when the F.B.I and other law enforcement officers checked  it out they only found the weekly meeting of the Liberty County Republicans.

News flash…Congressman Tony (teeny weeny) Weiner’s wiener has come out of hiding. An explicit photo of Weiner’s wiener has emerged on the internet. When Mrs Weiner, who is pregnant and I assume it is by this same celebrity wiener, was asked about this latest photo, she replied, “ I don’t know why everyone is so upset, it’s really such a little thing..”

On thing you can say about Jack Kevorkian, Dr. Death, not to be confused with a proctologist I once knew called “Dr. Depth,” is that he was never sued by a patient for malpractice.

Poor Sarah has more problems with her Hysterical Bus Tour. Her bus only turns to the right and she has been going around in a circle for a week   Sarah said since the tour was half over she would probably just quit, that was what she usually did when things weren’t going her way.

Looks like ole Newton Leroy Gingrich’s campaign will have to be born-again just like him. The entire top echelon of Niwit’s presidential campaign resigned this week in a stunning mass exodus. I understand Nitwit was wandering around his office mumbling, “Help me Jesus.”

Delta Airlines has been charging soldiers for their extra bags coming home from deployment. Several of 34 soldiers who had an extra bag were forced to pay $200 of their own money in fees in order to make their connecting flight to Atlanta.… I’m glad I don’t fly much anymore but when I do, I can guarantee you it won’t be on Delta.





Stay tuned for future adventures