The Queen Of The Tea Party Comes Out

Tweet
Michele (I want to be President of this great country even though I’m not sure what country this is) Bachmann has kicked her presidential run off with a bang today.  She said in Waterloo, Iowa when she was announcing her candidacy "Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."

Unfortunately that particular John Wayne was from Winterset Iowa which is across the state.  The John Wayne of Waterloo is John Wayne Gacy, serial killer of 33 teenage boys. I wonder if Michele plans on hiring a speech writer soon that has heard of the Internet and Google?  

Here are a few other quotes from Michele (I’m even dumber than Sarah) Bachmann that will give you a little idea of how tuned in she is to the environment. This is what Michele said last week, "Look, I love the environment. I love clean air, clean water. I'm a sportswoman. I love the outdoors.”   Uh, right…this what she has said in the past.

• 'I came away with the idea that [the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge] is the most perfect place on the planet to drill.' [8/13/08]

• 'The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.' [3/15/08]

• 'There isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful.' [4/22/09]

Of course this is what scientist claim about carbon dioxide.  They say it is toxic to the heart and causes diminished contractile force (whatever that means) but hey, what do they know? I can see why big oil loves this pin-head.

Former Governor of Illinois, Rod (Does anyone have a comb?) Blagojevich, was convicted on 17 out of 20 charges against him yesterday.  The former governor said he was very disappointed. He thought maybe they could run the table but that 17 out of 20 wasn’t bad.  When the jury was polled, they were unanimous on him having the world’s worse hair-do.

Bristol (I thought they said practice being obstinate) Palin has somehow managed to cram her vast knowledge of life into a 255 page memoir titled “Not Afraid Of Life.”  Of course 250 pages are dedicated to getting laid and running down Levi Johnson, the lay-er.  The real title should be “Get Drunk, Get Knocked-up, Get Rich.” 


Well I survived my 50th high school reunion in pretty good shape.  I was right to be a little nervous about there being a lot of old people there.  Not only were they old but they all seemed to have memory problems, most of them vaguely remembered me but they were all adamant that I wasn’t the valedictorian of my class.  I tried to explain that I helped our English teacher out occasionally and was vowel custodian.

The football coach was still pissed after all of these years and wanted me to bring back the equipment and my uniform.  The old high school was no longer standing but neither were most of the graduates.  I did get a picture of the homecoming king and queen.  They looked just as happy as they did on prom night.

I also got a photo of one my teachers who taught Health. 

All in all it was a fun time.  There were no fistfights, gun fights or knife fights but there was lots of shouting matches from those who were too vain to wear their hearing aids




Stay tuned for future adventures.