Boobs And Boobs

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 From The Crusades which killed millions of innocent people, to accusations of sympathizing with the Nazi’s, and years of scandalous child abuse, the Catholic Church has finally drawn the line. They have said NO to participating in a fund raiser with Hooter’s Restaurants.

Just when you think true love will conquer all, reality steps in and breaks your heart.  Hugh Hefner who is 85 and Crystal Harris who is 25 have broken their engagement.  It was an age thing. Hugh thought she was only 19. 

Spiderman the Musical finally opened on Broadway.  Estimated cost is around $70 million so far.  Man they should have used Lee Majors and saved $64 million dollars.

I think Hollywood has gone a little over the top with comic book hero movies.  So far they have done Superman, Batman, Spider Man, Iron Man, The Elephant Man and The Rain Man.  Now they are down to The Maytag Repair Man, The Door Man, The Maintenance Man, The Foreman, The Oil Man, The Tax Man and of course The Man.

Newton Leroy (Hen Pecker-head) Gingrich said he felt “liberated” by the resignations of his campaign staff. Now instead of having to listen to all of those experts telling him what to do, he only has to follow orders from Cruella Gingrich. 

 
Beef-Shish-Ke-Bob, the Human Resource director for Al-Qaida announced a new leader today.   Ayman al-Zawahri has agreed to a two year or death contract; which ever comes first.  Critics say he is not as charismatic as Bin Laden but he’s just as wacky.

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Snake Oil Senators

The next time you fill up your gas tank and drain your bank account, think of these bozos. Here are the 48 Senators who voted to keep Oil subsides.

Alexander (R-TN), Ayotte (R-NH), Barrasso (R-WY), Begich (D-AK), Blunt (R-MO), Boozman (R-AR), Brown (R-MA), Burr (R-NC), Chambliss (R-GA), Coats (R-IN), Coburn (R-OK), Cochran (R-MS), Corker (R-TN), Cornyn (R-TX), Crapo (R-ID), DeMint (R-SC), Enzi (R-WY), Graham (R-SC), Grassley (R-IA), Hatch (R-UT), Heller (R-NV), Hoeven (R-ND), Hutchison (R-TX), Inhofe (R-OK), Isakson (R-GA), Johanns (R-NE), Johnson (R-WI), Kirk (R-IL), Kyl (R-AZ), Landrieu (D-LA), Lee (R-UT), Lugar (R-IN), McCain (R-AZ), McConnell (R-KY), Moran (R-KS), Murkowski (R-AK), Nelson (D-NE), Paul (R-KY), Portman (R-OH), Risch (R-ID), Roberts (R-KS), Rubio (R-FL), Sessions (R-AL), Shelby (R-AL), Thune (R-SD), Toomey (R-PA), Vitter (R-LA), Wicker (R-MS)

We may give these assholes their jobs but they sure as hell don’t work for us. So far the major oil companies have pumped around $18 million into their bank accounts. 

I’ve been making fun of ole Harold (pseudo preacher) Camping who has predicted that the world will end this Saturday and then I realized that Oprah has tapped her last show, so what is there to live for anyway.
According to Harold, at 6pm pacific standard time, the righteous will fly up to Heaven.  Hey I’m all for it and I would just like to add “AND DON’T COME BACK.”

There is actually a proposition in San Francisco on the upcoming ballot in November to ban circumcision.  If it passes, to legally get circumcised, a male would have to be 18 years of age and insane.

The Celebrity 100 list is out and there is a new number one.  Oprah has been on top for a couple of years but this year it is Lady Gaga with $900 million. I understand she is changing her name to Lady Haha as she heads for the bank.

More information is coming out about Bin Laden’s porn stash.  His favorite movies appear to have been, Deep Goat, Debbie Does Abbottabad, Girls Gone Un-Veiled and Al-Qaida, Taliban Bang.  You would have thought a guy who has eluded the world for nine years would have hidden his stash a little better.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Ramblings From A Warped Mind

When the navy seals punched Osama’s ticket to the 72 Virgin Islands in the sky, they found two phones numbers in his pocket.  It has now been revealed that they were the voting numbers for Dancing With The Stars and American Idol.

I certainly agree with the White House on not releasing the death photos of Osama, I just wish they hadn’t taken them to Walgreen’s for developing.

For all of the Bush fans out there grumbling about Obama taking too much credit for getting rid of Bin Laden, did anyone hear Obama say, “And now I’m going to Disneyland.”……NO, I don’t think so.

The city of Houston looks like it going to lay off 230 fire fighters because of budget shortfalls.  Gee, it sure would have been nice to have that $10 million the city would have gotten from the red light cameras.  Remember that proposition was the brain child of a sleazebag ambulance chaser by the name of Paul Kubosh.  Gee, hope ole Kubosh’s house doesn’t catch fire.

Donald Trump has decided not to drive the pace car at the Indianapolis 500 this year.  I think this is probably a bad move on Trumps part.  This is the only race, Trump has a chance of leading a lap.

The so called first Republican Debate for President coming up in South Carolina should be a real snoozer.  Even Republicans don’t know who these guys are.  All five of these wanna-bes are mostly bitching about government intrusiveness in private markets and private lives. In other words, THE SAME OLE TIRED CRAP

GM just reported the highest profits in a decade.  Yeah, the government intrusiveness into the car industry was really a terrible move.





Stay tuned for future adventures.