TGIF...This Governor Is Flakey

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Texas Governor Rick (I’m a traveling man) Perry wants to hide his travel expense from the public.  He says it has something to do with security reasons.  Yeah, his security I would imagine.  Slick Rick says that as everyone knows, education is at the top of his list and he has traveled to Africa a number of times to study their great education system.  He said, “Hell their kids are usually out of school and working over there by the fourth grade.”  When someone pointed out that Africa was a continent and not a country, he said, “Well I was pretty sure they weren’t a vowel.”

Lindsay Lohan was called into court to explain how she tested positive for alcohol while on house arrest.  She said it was easy, you just take  4 cups of ice cubes,12 ounces of grape fruit soda or canned lemon lime, ¾ cup of tequila, 6 ounces of canned lime concentrate frozen and Wedges of one lime

When Crystal Harris, the woman who just broke up with Hugh Hefner was asked if Hef’s prenuptial contract was the deciding factor in her breaking it off.  She said, “No, not at all, it wasn’t his pre-nup, it was his getting it up.”

When Hefner was asked why Crystal gets to keep the $90,000 diamond engagement ring and the Bentley?  He said, “Who’s Crystal?”  

Researchers at Harvard University spent 20 years tracking long term food effects and have found that regular consumption of potato chips, French fries and sugared beverages were most to blame for slow and steady weight gain and that people who ate yogurt, fruits, vegetables, nuts and whole grains either lost weight or gained the least.  DUH….

Under the heading, “What’s wrong with this picture?” .Over thirty corporations in the good ole USA spent more on compensation for their top executives than they paid in taxes in 2010.  Thank you Juanita…And I’m with Juanita, why isn't the Tea Party wacko’s pissed about this? 

Kim Kardashian was sick and tired of defending her famous derriere so she decided to get a butt X-ray but unfortunately the X-ray machine didn’t have a wide-angle lens.  Why are these people on TV?  




 Stay tuned for future adventures