Last Hump Of The Year

The year that was.

The Republican Party stayed with their motto.

No Policies

No Solutions

No Candidates

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump has replaced the Confederate Flag as the symbol of racism and has proved without a doubt that racism and bigotry are alive and well in America. Trump wants to “Take America Back”…actually back to 1950, with his campaign, “Make America Hate Again”

His town hall meetings have been described as a proctologist's dream…assholes by the hundreds.

Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush proved that his little brother George Warmonger Bush doesn’t have a lock on dumb.  Jeb even tried the “Prince Plan” to try improving his campaign by changing his last name to an exclamation point.

The boys in the black robes brought out the hypocrites with their ruling on same-sex marriage.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Monday Blahs

Not only did I sleep past noon today, but I woke up brain-dead and bored with writing about dumb politicians and sleazy preachers, so I decided to throw another rerun at you.  I wrote this a few years ago, but it seemed appropriate for today. 

Some days I think funny and some days I don’t, but I always think. Today is one of those un-funny days and this is what I think.

I keep hearing people talking about the values and principals this country was built on,  but I find what they are spouting are mostly ad slogans and political talking points that were dreamed up by someone who had an agenda that had nothing to do with the welfare of the country.

How about having a fresh idea or a concept that you thought up, not just repeating what someone else said?  Are you a Republican or Democrat, Catholic or protestant  because you really studied their different ideology or because mommy and daddy were?  I don’t care what you are, just be yourself, not a clone.

How many times have you heard that it just takes good hard work to be successful?  Really……how many rich coal miners do you know?  I can’t think of anything that would be harder work than being a coal miner and there are lots of rich people who haven’t hit a lick at a snake or never lifted anything heavier than a fork.

I use to tell all the artists I worked with that the music business is a total crap shoot.  Having a lot of talent doesn’t guarantee anything.  Mostly I think success comes from passion and perseverance..  A lot of success comes from being in the right place at the right time and that usually comes from persistence.  I also know that success and happiness are not always the same.

If you can live your life doing what you love to do, then you are a huge success no matter what your bank account says and if your happiness depends on what other people think of you or your talent, you will never be happy.  That only comes from what you think of you.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and if Santa didn’t make it to your house last night, it was probably because it was a full moon Christmas Eve and a werewolf ate him.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harraumph Day

Humps of the week.

Arizona state senator Sylvia (I’m Just Plain Stupid) Allen has been selected to head up the Arizona Education Committee. Stupid Sylvia believes the earth is only 6000 years old, the government is using commercial airliners to spray the public with mind-numbing chemicals and that church should be mandatory.  Look for the next generation of kids in Arizona to fail to get out of the eighth grade.

Alabama Congressmoron Mo (Dumb Than Smart) Brooks thinks President Obama  “wants to make America a place where God-fearing white people are pushed out of the country.”   Moron Mo is just another racist asshole who feels it’s safe come out from under his rock sheet now that Trump is leading in the Republican polls.

Here are the results from the latest poll of Republican running oozing for President.

Trump…Loudest

Carson…Dumbest

Cruz……Sleaziest & Creepiest

Rubio…  Ineptest

Christie   Fattest

Bush…... Whiniest 

Fironia…Bitchest

Huckabee…Holiest

Poor Steve Harvey is getting creamed for announcing the wrong winner of the Miss Universe Pageant.  The whole thing was cleared up in a matter of minutes, yet when the Supreme Court did the same thing, we had to live through two useless wars and eight years of George Warmonger Bush. . 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Musings

The real reason for the season as I have said before is Santa Claus.  The story of Santa comes from Saint Nicholas who was a 4th-century Greek Christian bishop of Myra.  St. Nick as he was called was known for giving presents to the poor, but here is the real story.  Ole St. Nick led a double life and in his secret life he was a cat burglar.  

In the wee morning hours of December 25^th back in the fourth century, Ole St. Nick was caught filling his sack up with loot by the folks who lived there. The quick thinking naughty Nick told the people that he was bringing them presents and began taking things out of his bag that he had stolen from other neighbors. The people bought in and the myth began.

A few days later as the kids were playing with their new toys with other kids they recognized some of their own stuff and thus began the age old tradition of gift exchanging.

Tired of sitting at the kids table during the Republican debacles, Lindsey (I’ll Have Another Mint Julep) Graham has decided to go home and leave the mudslinging to better mudslingers.  Little Lindsey whose campaign of “Gloom & Doom” never caught on with people who had an I.Q. above 30.

Florida Senaterrible Marco (No-Show) Rubio had this to say last week about the spending bill before it was voted on, “We should use every procedural aspect that we have to slow it down and perhaps force some changes on these things that we’ve been discussing,” then he decided not to even show up and vote against it. Marco lives by the Republican motto: do as I say, not what I do.

When I first saw the headline, “The wrong winner of the Miss Universe Pageant announced”, I was sure they had announced that Miss Mars was the winner instead of someone from earth.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flakes of Friday

I am pretty sure that aliens have landed in Woodland, North Carolina.  Their city council voted to ban a solar energy farm from being built in their little burg because they said it would suck up all of the sun’s energy and all their vegetables would die.  Evidently the aliens have a brain sucking machine and used it on the local folks.

If you are like me and have been wondering why a good guy with a gun hasn’t made an appearance at any of the mass shootings in the last twenty years to take down a bad man with a gun, this could be the reason. 

New Jersey Governor Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie made this statement during the Republican debacle the other night, “When I stand across from King Hussein of Jordan, I say to him you have a friend sir who will stand with you to fight this fight,” Since King Hussein has been dead for sixteen years, I’m pretty sure he could give a shit. Don’t ya love it when a bonehead who wants to be President of the United States is really on top of things?

Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush’s campaign has spent almost 60 million dollars so far and he is at 3% in the polls.  Of course he still has a long way to go to top his brother George Warmonger Bush on wasting money. Remember the pallets of cash sent to Iraqi that disappeared?

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have a Clue) Cruz is proving that he is bi-lingual by talking out of both sides of his mouth. 

If you missed the Republican debacle this week, this pretty much says it all.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Just Another Day Of Humps

The humps of the week are the nine boneheads who were on stage at last night’s Republican debate debacle.

I can’t figure out why people think Iowa is so important in the race to be President.  They have only picked the winner twice since 1972, but they are great at picking losers,their nose, teeth, seats, pockets, fights,cotton, corn and on each other.

So the really good news is that Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is leading in Iowa.

Uh oh, it looks like somebody’s been naughty

Stay tuned for future adventures.