Politicians, Preachers and Pimps

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry went on the TV and said, “Today, I issued an executive order creating the Texas task force on infectious disease and response.”  Yessir, he said that the task force would shoot, kill, step-on, swat and mash every single Ebola that tried to enter into the great Lone Star state. Perry said he wasn’t sure what Ebola’s looked like but vowed to kill every one of them.

Supreme Court Judge Antonin (I Always Judge a Book by it’s Cover) Scalia told an audience in Colorado last week that it is alright for the U.S. Government to favor a religion.  Big mouth, little brain Anthony obviously hasn’t read the Constitution lately.  You know the part where it says,    "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

I am pretty sure the judge means Christianity over Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and many of the other religions practiced in this country.  I myself belong to the First Church of the Frisbee.  We believe when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get it down. 

Evidently Judge Antonio and his other asshole buddies on the Supreme Court think it is not alright to favor women’s health care.

The TeaNut Republican who is running for the Senate from Iowa, Joni (I’m Really Not) Ernst once said she would support legislation that would allow local law enforcement to arrest federal officials attempting to implement Obamacare.  Of course now that Obamacare is working and most people like it, little Joni is doing the Iowa back peddle as hard as she can. Why anyone would vote for this bonehead is beyond me?

Rafael (My Best Friend is Fidel) Cruz who claims to have sired Texas Senaterrible Ted (Would Someone Please Pay Attention to Me) Cruz, is back in the news.  While speaking ranting at a event in Ohio, Rafael pointed out a liberal writer in the audience and pretty much urged the crowd to rough him up which they tried to do until the police stepped in. Rabid Rafael went on to tell the crowd to "buy a gun" and "defend themselves" because "bad things" were going to happen to America. What an ASSHOLE…Just like his idiot son.

Television’s first cancellation of the new season has happened. The CEO of God TV, Rory (I’m Not a Very Smart) Alec is stepping down. He said that he had a “moral failure” recently. I understand there is no set date for Rory’s induction into the Preachers Hall of Shame as they have been unable to find a building large enough to hold all of the members.


 Stay tuned for future adventures.

TGIF

These Goons Ignore Facts.

Need I say more?


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New Wednesday-Same Ole Humps

Bill (The Only Thing Bigger Than My Mouth is My Ego) O’Riley’s latest paranoid conspiracy laden drivel is “Killing Patton.” Billy boy has dreamed up a plot where Joesph Stalin had General Patton murdered. If this were a sold as a piece of fiction it would be mildly entertaining but Big Mouth Bill wants you to believe this is a true story.   Yeah, you know, like he wants you to believe he is a real writer.  

If little Willy really wanted to write an expose, he would write “Killing Brain Cells” which is what happens to people who watch Faux News.

OMG, I do believe that hell has frozen over.  Fox News political analyst Juan ( Of Course I'm a Token) Williams had this to say in an opinion piece this week.  “On Obama’s watch, 5.1 million jobs have also been added to payrolls, the S&P/Case-Shiller national home price index is up about 17 percent and the S&P 500 stock index has more than doubled while hitting all-time records."  What! You can't say anything positive about Obama on Faux News. I wonder how long it will take Roger (HMFIC) Ailes  to fire this guy.

An independent audit of Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry’s Texas Enterprise Fund gave away almost 222 million dollars to entities that never submitted applications or promises to create jobs. Well isn’t that friendly of Mr. GoodHair. Also his asshole buddy Texas Attorney General Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is refusing to disclose who walked away with all that loot. Gregg says he doesn’t kiss and tell. The only sex here is that once again, John Q. Pubic is the one getting screwed.

Speaking of ole Greggy poo, I believe there are two ways to keep this asshole out of the Governor’s Mansion. (A) Vote his dumb ass into oblivion) (B) Remove the ramps.     

After reading more about the breach at the White House, I finally understand why they are called The Secret Service. It’s like they are not even there.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

News From the Whine Country.

The Pew Foundation has just released a report that says white evangelical Christians feel that they are the most persecuted people in America and at the Values Voter Summit in Washington this past weekend a straw poll of the 2000 attendees said that religious freedom was their number one priority.  What a load of crap. We have more religious freedom than any country on the planet. What they want is the freedom for THEIR religion to be the ONLY religion.

They already have two national holidays and are trying to take over another one. They are doing everything that they can to take over Halloween.  They want to call it the Harvest Festival or the Fall Festival.   I just read an article where they are pushing to have people carve the face of Jesus in their pumpkins. It’s Halloween, you know, spooks, goblins and scary stuff.  I guess the Holy Ghost would work if anyone knew what the Holy Ghost looked like.

There is a church on every corner and they get to spew bullshit on the radio and TV all they want. Don’t get me wrong, they have every right to spew their bullshit, but I have every right not to listen. Every time we turn  around they insist that God or Jesus be involved in everything we do from our education system to the government. I for one will be greatly thankful when the rapture gets here and these boneheads will be gone.  

Here is a fine example of evangelical Christian thinking. Christian radio host Rick (I Am Not a Scientist or a Doctor, but I am a Moron) Wiles said on his broadcast last week that Ebola is probably a good thing because it would cleanse the world of gay people, atheists and sluts. Wow Ebola doesn’t kill Christians.  I guess only lions do.

And here are a couple of typical quotes from a pair of pompous, self-righteous, self-proclaimed spokesmen for God:

 “Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.” ~ Jerry Falwell

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson

Stay tuned for future adventures.
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Some Things That Went Through My Brain and Came Out My Computer.

Today is National Native American Day.  It is a day set aside to honor and celebrate the American Indian. Wow, a whole day.  Let’s see, we give Black History a whole month, of course it is the shortest month of the year. But hey, the Native Americans have been getting the short end of the stick ever since the Mayflower landed in 1620 and the first Indian said, “Well there goes the neighborhood.”

I understand Dan (I’m Not a Racist, I’m Just an Asshole) Snyder, owner of the NFL’s Washington Racial Slurs, plans on staying home and mourning the death of General George (This Ought to be Easy) Custer.

Speaking of football. Here is question that has been rolling around in my tiny little brain for the past couple of days. Why is the NFL (Numerous Felons League) a tax exempt non-profit organization?  They take in millions of dollars every year, especially from their licensing and royalties. According to the latest report the league brought in 326 million dollars in 2012. Roger ( I Never Watch Videos') Goodell, their commissioner warden , is not a public servant. The NFL is not a public trust; it is a collection of private businesses. It has no shareholders or elected officials.  Roger was paid a salary of 44 million dollars last year.  I would think that is quite a bit more than any of the players received for their service and all Roger has to do is butt heads with is the media.

Tulsa OK, county tax assessor Ken (Yahoo) Yazel thinks that public hangings should be brought back as a crime deterrent.   Ken said, “You hang them in the public square. Then they won’t do it again. Neither will some of their friends watching.” I always thought that that the Ok stood for Oklahoma but after hearing really hateful, ignorant crap like this over and over from many of the boneheads in public office up there, it is obvious that OK stands for Odious Kooks.

I think maybe Republican President Theodore (Bull Moose) Roosevelt must have been able to see into the future. Here is something he said in 1901. . "All contributions by corporations to any political committee or for any political purpose should be forbidden by law."  As opposed to members of today’s Republican Party who can’t seem to see past their arrogant upheld noses.  Of course when you spend all day kissing corporate asses, it is hard to see much of anything.

An error by the Republican Governors Association recently resulted in the release of some documents that they really didn’t want to be public. The documents showed that many of America’s most prominent companies from Aetna to Walmart had contributed millions of dollars into the campaigns of Republican governors. Gee how shocking. America's corporate world giving money to the TeaNut Republicans.



Stay tuned for future adventures

Mid-Week Blahs

I understand that Omar (Speedy) Gonzalez, the fence jumper up in Washington D.C., will go in the history books as the first Hispanic to make it into the White House.

Kansas Senaterrible Pat (I Haven’t Got a Clue) Roberts’s campaign for re-election is in trouble so the GOP (Group of Pinheads) is bringing in these pinheads to save the day. Sarah (Half-Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin, Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry, John (Civil War Veteran) McCain, Bob (Two Days Older Than Dirt) Dole. Talk about throwing a drowning man an anchor.  I believe Dorothy and Toto would have a better chance of pulling Roberts’s dumbass out of the mud than these boneheads.

Picture of the week.

 I am pretty sure this woman is not indicating that Rick is number one in her books.

BREAKING NEWS.  This just in:
There is a new terrorist group that is even worse than ISIS and it’s the Kardashians. Man I knew these people were bad news the first time I ever saw them. You can tell they are just evil and bent on taking over the world. Oh wait…My bad, it’s the Khorasans.  Never mind.

Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Lone Star Slime Machine

Conservatives in Texas are moving to veto the new AP History course.  They are following the Republican National Committee’s lead of last month where they believe the program depicts American colonists as “oppressors and exploiters while ignoring the dreamers and innovators who built our country,”  I guess our early “Ethnic cleansing of Native Americans and slavery of black people just doesn’t look good on our resume. . You know it’s sorta like the way they have edited the Bible 175 times so it will only contain the parts they like..    

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Have Moved Beyond Dumb) Gohmert is claiming that the C.I.A is training ISIS terrorist. This is so stupid that even I don’t have witty response.

I do believe that Looney Louie must be getting down to the end of his New Years Resolutions list of Incredibly Stupid Things to say to the Press.

Texas Attorney General Gregg ( Hell On Wheels) Abbott says he has been feeling a little wimpy lately because he hasn’t sued President Obama in a while. So today he announced that he is gong to sue the President for the border crisis. You do remember the horrible border crisis that was going to end the world. The one that is no longer mentioned in the media.

If I remember correctly, ole Greggy Poo ran for Attorney General on the campaign slogan that he would stop frivolous lawsuits.  This is just another example of that selective amnesia that seems to plague the Republican Party.

I can’t quite wrap my head around the ads running on TV looking for people to join a class action lawsuit against the makers of Low Testosterone drugs.  I figured those folks didn’t have the balls to bring a lawsuit.

Stay tuned for future adventures.