Pondering and Musing

As most of you know who peruse this little bit of fluff, I’m not a religious person, but I’m thinking that I may become a Clausian.  Well for the month of December at least.  The two names that pop up the most at this time of the year are Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.  Both are suppose to be keeping track of who has been good and who has been naughty. Here is the reason I’m thinking Clausian is for me.  People have been saying for two thousand years that Jesus was coming back to take everyone to Heaven, but he hasn’t showed up once.  On the other hand, Santa shows up every year like clock work with a sled full of goodies.

There once was a place in Austin called the Armadillo World Headquarters. I went there a number of times and never did see a single armadillo.

I have noticed that Fox News never has any stories about foxes although they do have a number of jackasses on the air.

In the NFL (Numerous Felons League) is the illegal horse-collar tackle only enforced when the Denver Broncos or Indianapolis Colts are playing?  Are the fans of the Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals, Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons called bird watchers?

I have never heard the people on the Duck Dynasty TV show refer to Daffy, Donald, Huey, Dewey or Louie.  If KFC, Church’s, Popeye’s and Chic-fil-a were to merge, would they be called Cluck Dynasty?   



Stay tuned for future adventures.

TGIF

Congress finally agreed on something.  They decided that the vacation that they just returned from was not long enough so they voted to take another eight weeks off and left town.  Apparently they believe in old adage, “When the going gets tough, the tough go home.”

TV evangelist Pat (I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson of the 700 Club (that’s their total number of viewers) is just beside himself that the Air Force has decided to drop the phrase “So help me God” from their oath. Evidently Pat believes that if you don’t have God for a co-pilot, the plane will fall out of the sky like a lead balloon. I understand the Air Force is replacing the phrase with “so help me aerodynamics.”

 

The NFL (Numerous Felons League) is still the hot topic in scandal news.  A report shows that 57 players have been arrested on domestic violence charges while Roger (MoneyBall) Goodell has been commissioner. The 32 owners say they back Roger a hundred percent but are thinking about changing his title from commissioner to warden.

 

Another responsible gun owner has made the news.  A man in Florida was showing his sister at her birthday party how he could twirl his gun when he dropped it. It went off and shot his sister in the neck killing her deader than Elvis.  The police have not charged him. They said being extremely stupid is not against the law.    

 

Senaterrible Lindsay (I Want My Mommie….Oh, and Another Mint Julep) Graham is positive that those ISIS boneheads are going to come over here and kill us all.  Let’s just see how they rate against the US of A.

USA.                                                                                      ISIS

Army….Yes                                                                           Army…None

Navy….Yes                                                                            Navy…None

Air Force…Yes                                                                       Air Force…None

Total USA Military  1,369,532                                             Total number of boneheads                     

                                                                                               With guns and swords to cut  

                                                                                               People’s heads off.

                                                                                               30,000

Don’t get me wrong.  ISIS members are a bunch of deranged, twisted assholes who will kill people and they all need to be put away, but there is no way they can take over the world.  Ebola is way more scary than ISIS.

Stay tuned for future adventures.