Hump Day

 THE HUMP OF THE YEAR...So far.

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz made a speech in Houston this week to his three rabid followers that sounded vaguely familiar.  He said, “Winning…. I have a different constitution. I have a different brain, I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.  I am on a drug, it's called Ted Cruz. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”  I’m pretty sure little Teddy’s newest speechwriter is Charlie Sheen.    


The F.B.I. is investigating death threats that Little Teddy has received in the last couple of weeks.   Ole Ted is self-destructing so fast that I’m pretty sure he is their main suspect. 


New poll out this week has good news and bad news for peabrain Teddy.  The bad news is that his approval ratings are down to 13%.  The good news is that he is still up 2 points on dog shit.   

 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are engaged.  Kim’s first marriage lasted four years and her second try only made it 72 days. Las Vegas odds makers are saying that this time they expect her to file for divorce somewhere between the wedding chapel and the airport.

Diana Lohan was back in court for a hearing on her DWI charge. She explained that stress was the cause of the incident. That makes sense, she is the mother of Lindsay Lohan..

The World Series is underway again.  The United States and Canada seems to have a lock on this deal.  I can’t remember anyone from the rest of the world being in it.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Forget 4G

When I first started hearing and seeing all of the ads on TV about the new 4G phones, I thought wow, the G surly stands for Grand or Galactic and we could phone outer space or other planets.  Then I thought maybe the G stands for Glamorous or Glitter so we could talk to our favorite movie and television stars.  Another thought was that the G must be for Genius and it is a hundred times smarter than a smart phone.

Then it hit me, with the enormous amount of money they are spending promoting 4G, it must stand for Godly and we would have a hot line directly to heaven.

But alas after much research on the subject, the G must stand for GOUGE as in to cheat out of money or overcharge.  Then again it could be GREEDY because 4G doesn’t do anything that the phone in your hand doesn’t do right now.

And Now For Something Completely Different.

Lindsay Lohan's father has been arrested. He said he wanted to spend more time with his daughter.

I just read a story that said Tiger Woods was back on the dating scene.  As far as I can tell he was never off the dating scene but now he’s not MARRIED.

HBO has announced they are doing a movie on the life of former Vice-President Darth Cheney.  It will open when Darth was a teenager and shot his best friend with a BB gun.  Shortly after that Darth had the first of his 23 heart attacks which is an incredible number for someone who obviously doesn’t have a heart.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Valentine Wish

Here is hoping you have a great Valentine Day
and lots of love and candy come your way.
Thanks for taking a little bit of your valuable time
to stop and read Sleeps Til Noon and this dumb little rhyme.


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

At the Grammy’s last night, the big winners were Lady Antebellum and Lady GaGa.   Somehow they completely over looked Lady Bird, Lady Marmalade, Lady Di, Lady and The Tramp, Lady Luck, Lady Chatterley, Lady Godiva, Lady Jane, Lady In The Water,  Our Fair Lady.and the Little Old Lady From Pasadena.

Egyptian President Mubarak has finally resigned.  The only troubling part is that he has named Conan O’Brien has his successor.  Haven’t we seen this before?

I see where Ron Paul just won the CPAC straw poll for President. This is a group of conservative Republicans who get together every year to try to decide who to back for President.  The only other one in contention was Mr. Ed, the talking horse. It seems they were so accustomed to being in a room full of horse’s asses that they didn’t notice Mr. Ed was a real horse.

Speaking of Ron Paul. He is the new chairman of the House Financial Services Committee's subcommittee on monetary policy.  Ron wants to go back to the Gold Standard.  The problem with that is there isn’t enough gold on the planet to back up the paper we have printed.  Yeah, good luck with that Paul.  Next I think he wants to go back to black and white TV, he says color cost too much.   I wonder why Ron never talks about his half brother/sister RuPaul?  What’s up with that?

The rumors are flying that Bret Farve will be on “Dancing With The Stars” next season.  The hang up seems to be that Bret doesn’t want a partner but would prefer using just a pole.

Republican Congressman “Shirtless Christopher Lee” joins “Shoeless Joe Jackson”, “Brainless George W. Bush”, “Heartless Dick Chaney”, “Clueless Nancy Pelosi” and “Sleepless in Seattle” in the history books.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around ole “Shirtless Chris."  This guy is worth 20 to 30 million dollars and he has to go on Craig’s list to find a date?  I'm not sure who is more clueless, Chris or the kid who was just arrested in Florida that went on Face Book to find a hit man to kill his girlfriend.  Don’t they know how the internet works?

NBC's America's Got Talent was in town holding auditions for its hit show this weekend and  I missed it.  They had the auditions in the mornings.  Damn…. I do believe America’s Got Talent, unfortunately none of it is on that show.

Here is a tweet from Lindsay Lohan about the dress she wore to court. “What I wear to court shouldn’t be front page news. It’s just absurd.”   No, what is absurd is what you wore to court….

Today's good read is Bury Your Dead by Louise Penny.  Excellent writing and a good story.  If you like murder mysteries, you will very much enjoy this.




Stay tuned for future adventures.