Politicians, Preachers And Pimps

In my world, politicians and preachers are both pimps.  

Quick summation of last week’s Bengotcha hearings.  Chairman Trey (I’m Just A Good For Nuthin Ole 

Southern Boy) Gowdy, TeaNut Republican from South Carolina, got his hat handed to him and boy did he need it with that incredibly stupid hair-do of his.  

Florida Senaterrible Marco (I’ve Got A Sugar Daddy) Rubio says he is quitting the Senate because it’s just too hard. That’s what happens when you buddy up with Sarah (Part-Time Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin.  I guess he thinks being President is a easier job. I understand his new campaign motto is: Vote for me. Maybe I won’t quit.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said on the Today show that his dad loaned him the measly sum of one million dollars and he took it and made billions.  He conveniently forgot to say that when dear daddy died, he left Trumpy Poo and estimated 120 million dollars. In other words, Donald made his money the old fashioned way. He inherited it.

After hearing Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson mumble something stupid on TV, I am convinced that he performed a frontal lobotomy on himself while attending brain surgery school. 

   

Pastor Ben (Another PinHead In A Pulpit)Bailey of the Tennessee Gospel of  Christ Ministries ask his flock flakes how would they feel about their own parents aborting them.  I think they should have asked him how he would feel if he had a brain.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politicans, Preachers And Pimps

Actually there are no pimps, I just like that title.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump detailed his two-step plan on immigration over the week end.  Step One: Stop em’ Step Two: Throw out the ones here including the ones born here. He didn’t seem to have any idea how to do any of this other than his incredibly stupid undo-able wall.  I understand Trump also has big plans for the Statue of Liberty.

The Don went on to say that he would win the Latino vote. Of course the polls show that the only Latino vote he would get is a Mexican man in south Florida marked the wrong box on his ballot. He finished up by saying that he really enjoyed coming to Iowa and was thinking about buying it.

Former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry, said last week, “I'm in it to win it.”  Seeing how little Ricky Poo's campaign is out of money and he is polling at 1%, I am pretty sure he was talking about the office pool on who would be the first candidate to drop out of the race. 

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That selective amnesia has kicked in for the Republicans again.  They just can’t quit talking about Hillary’s emails, but seem to have totally forgotten about when it was revealed that the Bush administration lost 5 million emails in 2007.  Not only can the Republicans not come up with a single solution for any problems for the future, they can’t seem to remember yesterday.  

Pastor Phillip (Two-Gun) Guin is the pastor of the Rocky Mount Methodist Church in Jemison, Alabama.  The pistol packing Pastor decided that he loved guns as much as Jesus so he turned the church into a combination shooting range and church. Pistol Phil said it is right there in the scriptures in Ignoramous 3:16  to shoot first and ask questions later. 

Pastor Ben (Hell Fire & Damnation)Bailey of the Central church of Christ in McMinnville, Tennessee said in his sermon spew of hate this week that a liberal society was to blame for all the problems in the world today.   He blamed them for banning the stoning of LGBT people, whom he said were deserving of punishment.  He said that they wanted "things like women preaching, women leading in service, where homosexuals and gay marriage were accepted openly."  Let’s see, do you think this asshole votes Republican? I’m pretty sure he has a Confederate flag in his yard.

Stay tuned for future adventures.