So Rush (I am living proof that drugs cause brain damage) Slimebough has decided that Texas Governor Slick Rick (I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do) Perry is the most qualified candidate for President. First of all obviously Rush doesn’t live in Texas and secondly what a dumb move for the Republican Party. Icky Ricky, serial politician, has practically no name recognition outside of Texas and the Republicans would carry Texas if Charles Manson was the nominee. Let’s hope ole “Hair-do” throws his hat into the ring. I would love for the national press to take a good look at what’s been happening in this state for the last eleven years.
Wow, a different kind of Tea Party candidate has jumped into the running of the 45th Presidents Cup. He is Harold Cain and he says he supports a strong national defense, opposes abortion, backs replacing the federal income tax with a national sales tax and favors a return to the gold standard. Oh I’m not talking about that, that’s the same ole crap all the other Tea Partiers yammer about. What I mean is, he is unlike anybody in the Tea Party. He’s black
So Nitwit Gingrich has released a statement saying, “Any ad that quotes anything I said is a falsehood.” You know, I believe he is right. I don’t think Nitwit has ever said anything that was the truth.
The prison is Sugar Land known as the Central Unit is closing. You know the state’s economy is in bad shape when you start laying off prisoners.
The wife of Strauss-Kahn’ the IMF chief who has been arrested on rape charges said, “I don’t believe for a single second the accusations of sexual assault by my husband.” Isn’t that what Maria Shriver said in 2003 when Arnold was running for Governor? Is this a page from the “Stand By Your Husband” manual or what?
Did you see the story about the woman who found a kidney donor for her mom on Facebook? That is really cool. I have come across a number of ladies who were willing to rent out certain body parts for a short period of time but never any donors.
One of my readers asked me, what position did the mother of Arnold’s love child perform in the Schwarzenegger household? I believe she worked on his staff in the missionary position.
Harold (two strikes) Camping released a press statement saying the Apocalypse has been called off again. He said that Jesus phoned and said that now they have hired Ashton Kutcher to take over Charlie Sheen’s role, he wants to see how the new season turns out.
Beer commercials have always depicted their customers as dumb but the new Busch ads have taken it to a new level. It seems that their customers don’t have enough sense to know when the beer is cold, so Busch has a little label on the can that turns blue when the beer is cold. I can see a bunch of my old drinking buddies sitting around an ice cooler. “Hey, is it cold yet?” ….”Nope, the label hasn’t turned blue.” “Damn. I’m thirsty”.
Conservative talk show host Michael Savage has been moaning and whining about why conservative talk show host like Rush, Beck, Sean Hannity and himself never get invited to give commencement speeches at colleges. Could it be that no one gives a shit about what ya’ll have to say?
Stay tuned for future adventures.
