Another Hump Day

The worlds biggest hump Donald (What Me Worry?) Trump is not the first President to be impeached, but he is the dumbest. He proved it today in his "stand up and lie to the nation" press conference. I see why he is referred to as number 45. That's his I.Q.

The White House sent out an email of talking points on how the Republicans are supposed to spin the debacle of Trump’s phone call to the President of Ukraine. The problem is that they sent it to the Democrats by mistake. The White House then asked the Democrats to send it back, but the Dems said, “sorry, finders keepers, looser weepers”. Yes sir, Trump hires only the best people.

Laura (Incredibly Ignorant) Ingraham had the gall to slam climate activist Greta ( Super Girl) Thunberg by comparing her to Steven King’s Children of the Corn book. Laura said she couldn’t wait to see Steven’s sequel.  Really!!!! I understand it is going to be sequel to Misery and it’s about Laura; it’s called Miserable.

Laura’s older brother Curtis said, “I can no longer apologize for a sibling who I no longer recognize.” I can see where Thanksgiving dinner at the Ingraham house will be a real treat.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Musing And Pondering

Things that do NOT make sense to me under any circumstance.

That Donald (KKK) Trump is President of the United States.

The first person to eat an oyster.

That Brett (Wanta See My Dick) Kavanaugh is a Supreme Court Judge.

Watching Fox News or Newsmax TV

That Chuck (I Love Listening to Me Talk) Todd has a job on TV.

Owing an AK-47 or AR15.

That Bill (Who’s Got the Ball) O’Brien is a head coach.

.The first person to jump out of an airplane.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

It's Friday The 13th, Which Means Tomorrow Is Saturday The 14th.

Donald (KKK) Trump said last night that energy efficient light bulbs make him look “orange.” And as we all know, the spotlight makes him look “STUPID.”

Sarah (Part-Time Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin’s hubby Todd has filed for divorce. Todd cited “incompatibility of temperament” as the reason. I think that is Todd’s way of saying, “I’m OK.  She’s an idiot doofus.” They were married for 31 years so I guess 32 was a bridge too far.

Oh look, another bonehead politician from Texas has opened his mouth and inserted his cowboy boot.  State Representative Briscoe (Just Call Me BOZO) Cain, warned Beto O’Rourke that his AR gun is ready for Beto which amounts to a death threat of a presidential candidate.  It could be that the F.B.I. is getting ready for a little face time with Briscoe BOZO.

More emails are surfacing from Jerry (Daddy Was A Jerk, I’m A Real Asshole) Falwell Junior.  One of the kingpins in the Industry of Religion, Junior Falwell, referred to some of the students at Liberty University as “social misfits and emotionally imbalanced.” He called the former dean “a bag of hot air” who “couldn’t spell the word profit.” He also said the campus police chief “was a half-wit and easy to manipulate.” It is easy to see why Judas Jerry Junior is a real fan of Trump.  Birds of a feather as they say. 

On a positive note, I am totally hooked on two new TV shows. Carnival Row on Amazon and The Umbrella Academy on Netflix. Not only quirky concepts on both but great writing and acting.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politicians, Preachers and Pimps

The usual disclaimer: There are no stories about pimps here.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump just announced that he has fired National Security advisor John (Bombs Away) Bolton.  My understanding is that thing on Trump’s head was jealous of Bolton’s moustache.

Republican State Senator from Tennessee Kerry (Dumb And Proud Of It) Roberts wants to eliminate higher education. I think Kooky Kerry wants everyone to be as stupid as he is. He says that getting rid of higher education will “save America.” Save America from what? Being smart…. Once again, I must point out where the GOP finds these people.

Aides to Liberty University’s Jerry (Daddy Was Jerk, I’m A Real Asshole) Falwell Jr. have decided to talk about their boss. They say he really likes to talk about his sex life. One employee said, “all he wanted to talk about was how big his penis was.” Sounds like even ole Jerkwater Jerry knows how big a DlCK he is.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Day After Hump Day

That Trump’s a real Sharpie…..

Republican Congressmoron James ( I Have No Common) Sensenbrenner from Wisconsin has decided not to run for reelection. Jurassic James is in his 22 term in Congress. I’m not sure if he was around during the signing of the constitution or not.

Ole Jerkwater James was one of the architects of the Patriot Act, possibly one of the worst pieces of legislation to ever come down the pike and voted against giving emergency aide to victims of hurricane Katrina. Don’t let the door hit you in your ass on the way out Jimbo.

Texas Governor Greg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott continues to push back against calling for a special session on gun-control measures. I mean what’s the rush. The legislature which meets every other year, will convene again in 2021 and how many people could possibly be injured or killed by then?

If we are going to get caught up in a trade war, surly we can find someone to trade Trump for.

Trumpypoo’s new press secretary Stephanie (I’ll Drink To That) Grisham sobered up long enough to send a stupid email to CNN about a mistake they had made. CNN wrote back and said “Yes, we made a mistake and corrected in thirty seconds. And now are admitting it. You all should try it sometime.” Drum roll goes here.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Tuesday That Feels Like A Monday

Texas State Representative Matt (I LOVE Guns) Schaefer said he would not doing anything to diminish the God-given rights for his fellow Texans to have their precious guns. I’m not sure where in the Bible it says everyone should have a gun. It could be in Smith and Wesson 38:45, but probably it is Ignoramus 10:12

Of course Moron Matt’s answer is prayers. It seems to me if this wonderful all knowing, and all loving God of Matt’s doesn’t seem to know what’s going on if people have to pray for him to stop it. Either God is asleep at the wheel or doesn’t care that a 17 month old baby got shot in the face.  If I thought that kind of prayer worked, I would already have won the lottery.

Even though I live in this bonehead’s District, I’ve never heard of him, but you can bet I’ll remember his name the next time I go to the ballot box.

St. Edwards, a Catholic school in Nashville has banned the Harry Potter books from their library. Father Reehil says the decision was made for the “well-being” of the students. This from the religion cult where thousands of children have been abused by their priest.

Texas Governor Greg (I Haven’t Got A Leg To Stand On) Abbott said this week that firearms need to be kept out of the hands of “deranged killers.” He went on to say that he thought a lot of these deranged killers were not checking the “deranged killers” box on their gun application.

Stay tuned for future adventures.