I'm Just Sayin'

 

Trumpypoo announced his newest send me money campaign scam this week.  Of course he didn’t come right out and say, “Send me money,” he just said he was going to run for President in two years…….TWO YEARS?  He could be dead, in jail or living in some country that doesn’t have an extradition clause in two years. I’m pretty sure the MAGA gang (Morons And Goobers Association) were down at the post office the next morning sending him their rent checks for this month.  It makes you wonder how stupid one must be to send money to a guy who claims to be a billionaire.

 

I see where Kari (I may not have a penis, but I’m as much a dick as Trump) Lake the looser of her campaign to be Governor of Arizona is refusing to concede the election.  Who cares?  She lost and the fine folks of Arizona have said all there is to say about it.

Hershel (My brain needs a) Walker went after the werewolf vote this week.  I’m not sure that is a good move since werewolves only come out at night after the polls close.

 

Mother Nature drug her cold front though town this week which made me wonder if my wishing for Texas to turn blue was misdirected.  I don’t like cold weather mostly because I find it inconvenient.  You have to dig out the cold weather clothes, bundle up to go outside and then fifteen minutes after you get in the car, you’re too hot.  Life is so tedious. 

I have been a Dallas Cowboy fan right from the very first cheerleader and when they would screw up a big game and lose like they did last Sunday, I would be bummed for a week.  Now it is about two minutes.  I think it has to do with my attention span.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

 

 

 

Soggy Thoughts on a Rainy Day

 

First rule of redneck poetry. It doesn’t have to make sense; it just must rhyme.

It’s that time of the year when leaves begin turning and then they turn loose because we all know what’s good for the gander is good for the goose.

Roses are red and violets are blue.  I don’t have another line so this will have to do.

 

How about fairy tales?  Explain how Little Red Ridding Hood doesn’t know the difference between her grandmother and a wolf.  Or Goldie Locks tendency to trespass.  I never bought into pigs living in houses or Jack and Jill being that clumsy.  Also how did Humpy Dumpty get up on that wall?

More questions that have bothered me are who picked up the check at the last supper and who let the dogs out?  Also how did Alexander Bell know Mr. Watson’s phone number?  I understand Mr. Watson’s answer machine picked up when he called.

How many people fell off the earth before Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravity?

Since he is called the Lone Ranger, was Tonto his imaginary friend?

I keep seeing things referring to “Deep East Texas.” I live in east Texas and there is nothing deep about it.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

 

 

 

 

Bubbles From My Soapbox

 

The mid-term elections have turned out to be mid-terminal for many Republicans whose political careesr are now DOA. The voting part is over, but the counting part continues.  I am beginning to think that they are using Count Dracula from Sesame Street to do the counting.  Many of the contests are still too close to call.  Colorado Congressmoron Lauren (Bobblehead) Boebert is in a tight race, but she says she will win because she has found a number of votes for her that were stuffed in a tip jar in the bar she owns in Colorado.

Donald Jerk Trump is complaining that all the candidates that he picked who lost were recommended to him by wife Melanoma and the custodian at Mar-a-Largo.

Otherwise, the big giant Red Wave that was predicted by the Republicans has turned into a small pink drip. Makes sense since that’s who most of the Republican candidates turned out to be.

Many fine folks here in the Lone Star State are still grieving over four more years of Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott, but as they say, “Shit floats to the top.”

Now that election time is over, it’s time to start dreading the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, but that is for another post.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day

 

Here are two of the biggest humps on the planet.

 

Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott..    

Parents all over the Lone Star state voted for a jerk who doesn’t give a shit if their children are shot and killed while in school.  This bonehead is even hated by trees.  Yes, the reason this asshole is in a wheelchair is because a tree limb fell on him.  He sued and got a ton of money from it and then as soon as he became Governor of Texas, he got the law changed so no one else could get that kind of money from an accident.  Nice guy, huh?  And after the school shooting in Uvalde, Tx where nineteen students and two teachers were killed Ole Gregg wheeled down there immediately….Actually no he didn’t. He went to a fundraiser first then showed up a couple of days later and lied his ass off about what happened.

 

Ron (Trump Two) DeSpicable, Governor of Florida would like to cut Medicare and Social Security.  I’m pretty sure there are lots of retired folks who live in Florida that you would think would be against that.  Evidently when you vote in Florida, they check your I.Q. instead of I.D. and if it’s above 70 they don’t let you vote. I’m not sure about that and could have just made that up.  When you look at a map of Florida it looks like a giant penis, so it’s no wonder so many dicks live there.

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Musing and Pondering

 

I wonder why born-again Christians don’t get a better hair-do out of that deal?

I understand there is a new support group for former Trump supporters.  It’s called Assholes Anonymous.  “Hi I’m Fred, I’m an asshole…I voted for him twice.”

I’ll be glad when T.G.I.F.  stands for Trump Gang Indicted Finally.

What do call girls do on Halloween when someone says, “Trick or treat.”?

Elon Musk is now the head Twit. I understand he is thinking about changing the name from Twitter to Rant.

Tonight, will be the start of the 118th World Series and once again only teams from America will be playing.  

The shaking has stopped.  Jerry Lee Lewis R.I.P.

I wonder why Charlie Rich never recorded “Money” and The Zombies never recorded “Stagger Lee.”

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

 

HUMP DAY

 

And here are some of the biggest humps of the day.

 

Donald Jerk Trump.  It seems they found the call logs from the White House on Jan. 6^th at Mara-a-Largo.  It wouldn’t surprise me if Amelia Earhart didn’t show up there one day.

Ken (I fought the law and the law won) Paxton, Texas Attorney General.  Apparently Ken made a break for the border, but the subpoena folks caught him anyway. Crooked Ken was trying to avoid testifying in an abortion lawsuit.

Elon (I have a ton of money but very little sense) Musk has made a new offer to buy Twitter. The company is up to it’s eyeballs in legal problems.

Vladimir ( I may be Russian, but damn slow mentally) Putin is proving to be the Russian version of General George Custer, America’s dumbest military General.

Herschel (My I.Q. is the same as my jersey number) Walker has been accused of paying for a former girlfriend’s abortion.  Walker has denied the accusation saying he has never had sex with anyone.  Herschel’s four children  responded by saying they had no idea they were adopted. 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Tis The Season

 

It is hurricane season again, so here is my annual blog post about it. The prediction for this year’s hurricane season is out and they call for a similar season as last year. They are predicting 14 to 21 named storms and with a possibly of 10 hurricanes, 3 of 6 which will be in the “major” range. It will be the seventh straight year of above average hurricane season. Tropical storm Alex is already forming out in the Atlantic. 

Twenty two years ago when I began writing SURGE, I had just read a similar article about how active the next ten to fifteen years were going to be for hurricanes.  After much research and many visits to hurricane conferences, interviewing lots of folks with the National Weather Bureau and emergency managers in our area, I came to know how vulnerable Houstonians and the people who live in New Orleans were to a major hurricane. 

I decided on writing a novel because I didn’t want to write about hurricanes that had been here, ie, the great Galveston hurricane of 1900 or Carla, I wanted to write about the one that was still out there.  After talking with a lot of different people in the area, I knew there was a certain amount of apathy about hurricanes.  I was guilty of it myself.  My foremost priority was to have an exciting story that would be a good read no matter what part of the country you lived in, but I also wanted to try to make people who live in coastal areas aware of what could happen if we were to take a direct hit by a Category 4 or 5 storm.

SURGE was published in 2004, the same year that Florida got slammed with four hurricanes, but we here in Texas were unscathed. Then things got really scary in 2005. We all sat in front of our TV’s and watched the terrible scenes unfolding from Katrina’s visit to New Orleans which was only a Category 2 storm by the time it came ashore.

I still remember very vividly coming home from a live interview via satellite with Rita Cosby on MSNBC as Hurricane Rita churned as a Category 5 in the Gulf heading straight for Houston. This was a scenario that I had been living with for almost 5 years and now it appeared to be coming true. Fortunately as we all know, Rita weakened to a Category 2 and turned right before hitting us, doing the most damage to Beaumont and southern Louisiana.

If you are interested in what could have happened had she not made a little jog and stayed a Category 5, I invite you to read SURGE.  It’s still available at Amazon; book or Kindle (you can click on the button by the book cover), or you can order it at any book store in the world.  I have been told by a number of weather experts including the fine people at the National Hurricane Center in Miami and hurricane consultants that SURGE is an accurate portrayal of what could happen if Houston has to face a direct hit from a Category 5 storm. 

Below are a few quotes from some of them.  

“….It presents a scary scenario that is entirely possible in the Houston/Galveston area.  The type of storm described in this book is a Meteorologist’s nightmare.”
Gene Hafele, National Weather Service, Houston/Galveston.  

“Being an emergency manager, I was a bit reluctant to get started, thinking I wouldn’t really care for it, but when I finally got to it, I couldn’t put it down.  A great story with some good surprises.”  

Eliot Jennings, Emergency Manager Coordinator, City of Galveston

  

“What made Surge a gripping, “couldn’t put it down” read, was Tanner’s physical descriptions of Dolly.  Few in this area understand the enormous destructive power of a Category 5 hurricane and how a direct hit will transform this area.  Tanner translates the dry statistical data and predictions into a frightening description of what will happen to those unfortunates caught in such a storm’s path.  I could hear the howling winds and see the angry storm surge charging up Galveston Bay.  I could feel the “soaked to the bone” exhaustion as the characters fought to survive Dolly’s wrath.”  

 Bill King, Mayor, City of Kemah            

“In SURGE, Tanner has dotted his work with a cast of characters as colorful as his background.  There’s the good, the bad, the beauty and those in-between.  From politicians to Joe Blue-collar, they’re all there and then some.”

Chuck Hlava, Editor Mariner’s Log  

“Mr Tanner’s highly descriptive narrative brings the story alive showing what emergency managers along the coast fear more than any type of event, a major hurricane, what I call a Tropical Terrorist.  His wordsmithing has made this storm story a very human one - thanks to the use of real locations known to people that live in the area today.  As I read it, I could picture the event happening.”

Lew Fincher, VP of Hurricane Consulting  

 So hurricane season is here again and once again the same thought is running through my mind.  That storm is sill out there.