Turkey Day

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving Day.

 Of course the biggest turkey in the land is still getting the most press. 

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump called the heads of the news networks into his office to tell them that they were all liars. He said that he is not a racist and that he has always been a bigly supporter of Black Friday.

Trumpy Poo did give the fine folks of South Carolina a big gift. He nominated South Carolina Governor Nikki (Nikki Hokey) Haley to be Ambassador to the United Nations so they won’t have to put up with her bullshit any longer.

I saw a survey where the majority of Americans are optimistic about Trump being President.  I am pretty sure it was taken by the same folks who had Hillary winning the Presidency and we all saw how accurate they were.

Speaking of majorities, the latest vote count has Hillary with more than two million votes than The Don. Kinda makes you stop and think about, “Your vote counts.”






Stay tuned for future adventures.

Tuesday Tidbits

Sarah (Full-Time Moron,Half-Ass Governor) Palin and Donald (Full-Time Con Artist, Part-Time President) Trump are more alike than I thought.  Ole Trumpy Poo's has decided that he doesn't really have time to be President so he is not even going to move into the White House. It’s obvious that The Don is way more interested in his business dealings than running the country.  I am pretty sure his next failed business will be America.

Since I have weaned myself off of Facebook, I haven’t seen any stories of stupid people doing really stupid things, but I did witness a really stupid person right here in good ole East Texas.  I had decided to have some fish from Long John Silvers the other day and was in line behind what I took to be a local preacher. I am assuming he was a preacher because all he could talk about to anyone around him was about the Lord. He asked the man behind the counter if he was going to have to work on Thanksgiving and the man said no.  The preacher then said, “Isn’t God wonderful.”  I had no idea God owned Long John Silvers restaurants.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Back In The Saddle

 Now that I have gotten my breath back from being sucker punched by the mentally challenged Trump supporters imbeciles, I am feeling a little better about things. I think the main thing that has helped me regain my sanity is to remember that we have elected some really bad Presidents through out our short history.  The truth is we have elected more bad and really mediocre Presidents than good ones and we will live through this latest fiasco.

For months I kept reading articles by people who supposedly knew what was going on. They all said the same thing; that Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump was going to bring the Republican Party to it’s knees and then he wins and the Republicans stay in power.  Well now that I have given it some serious thought, I think that is exactly what’s going to happen.

My thought are that if Trumpy Poo had lost, he would just be an asterisk on a long terrible campaign, but now that he has won, he will be able to decimate the Republicans. Now he is all theirs and I’m pretty sure he is going to be a really lousy President and there is nothing they can do about it.

 Little Donnie’s first order of business was to throw Christie under the bridge which immediately turned the transition into a train wreck. Dr. Ben (Brainless Surgon) Carson had a moment of clarity and turned down a cabinet post.  Rumor has it that former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry is being considered for Energy Secretary. When asked about it, Ricky Poo said he was surprised at being considered for the secretary position since he could barely type.

Here is the main lesson I have learned from this election.

In the mean time I am going to see if I can leave politics alone and write about things that I can really make fun of and laugh about.   Religion and preachers.    






Stay tuned for future adventures.

It's Finally Over

Sadly I underestimated the number of complete morons who live in this country.

 I’m taking some time away from the computer.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

As we are now into the actual voting process, just a few final words about those folks who will be casting a vote for Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump.

stu·pid

ˈst(y)o͞opəd/

adjective

adjective: stupid; comparative adjective: stupider; superlative adjective: stupidest

1. 1.

lacking intelligence or common sense.

"I was stupid enough to think she was perfect"

synonyms:

unintelligent, ignorant, dense, foolish, dull-witted, slow, simpleminded, vacuous, vapid, idiotic, imbecilic, imbecile, obtuse, doltish;

ig·no·rant

ˈiɡnərənt/

adjective

adjective: ignorant

1. lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.

"he was told constantly that he was ignorant and stupid"

synonyms:		uneducated, unknowledgeable, untaught, unschooled, untutored, untrained, illiterate, unlettered, unlearned, unread, uninformed, unenlightened, benighted; More inexperienced, unworldly, unsophisticated "the plight of these ignorant children should be an international concern"
antonyms:	educated

o              lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular.

"they were ignorant of astronomy"

synonyms:

without knowledge of, unaware of, unconscious of, oblivious to, incognizant of, unfamiliar with, unacquainted with, uninformed about, ill-informed about, unenlightened about, unconversant with, inexperienced in/with, naive about, green about;

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Bubbles From My Soapbox

Last night’s Presidential debate spat can be condensed down to, “Did not. Did too”  When Trumpy Poo was asked if he would concede the election if Hillary won, he said he would have to get back to everyone after he learned what the word concede means.

I understand that Faux News blowhard Bully O’really is planning a new book in his “Killing” series that he didn’t write. Killing Reagan, Killing Lincoln etc.  He said it is going to be about Trump. It will be called “Killing the Republican Party.” 

Number one pimp for Trump, Sean (All Mouth, No Brains) Hannity thinks that the Republicans should replace Paul (Lying) Ryan with Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert, who is known as the dumbest man in Congress, as Loudmouth of the House.  Hey I’m all for that. We would be down to a one party system in no time.

Gosh it looks like Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump and Roger (Check Out My Casting Couch) Ailes are no longer asshole buddies.  Now they are just two assholes who don’t like each other.

Oh no, I think the dreaded “R” bandit is loose again.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some Of This And A Whole Lot Of That

It seems the Republicans are convinced that Hillary is a corrupt murderous politician.  Yet after years of investigations and millions of dollars spent trying to prove that, she has never been charged with anything.  Nothing.  Zip.  

So she is either one the smartest, most brilliant politician on the planet or the Republicans are some of the dumbest.  Either way the Republicans lose. 

Bill (I’m With Her) Clinton riled up the Trump supporters imbeciles with he said this, “Look man, the other guy’s base is what I grew up in,” You know, I’m basically your standard redneck.”  Big deal he called them rednecks.  He could have called them the stupid, ignorant, boneheaded, unintelligent, empty-headed, lame brained, slow, dopey, witless, moronic, dense, crass, tactless, blockheaded, simple-minded, childish, absurd, unreasonable, irrational, ill-advised, homophobic, misogynistic, racist assholes that they are.

Some of the biggest names in the “pimping for Jesus” business are now pimping for Trump. Jerry (Daddy Was A Buffoon, I’m Just An Asshole.) Farwell Jr. President of Liberty University,  Tony (Faux Christian, Real Hypocrite) Perkins head of the Family Research Council,  Pat ( I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson of the 700 Club and Ralph ( I’m So Righteous I Walk In Circles) Reed of the Christian Coalition to name a few.  I think you can lump everyone of these creeps under one title. “Hypocrites R us”

One little piece of sanity in all of this is the statement the students of Liberty University made public this past week. It said, “Because our president has led the world to believe that Liberty University supports Donald Trump, we students must take it upon ourselves to make clear that Donald Trump is absolutely opposed to what we believe, and does not have our support,”  Looks like the students have figured out Farwell Jr. really is an asshole.

Trumpy Poo did do something good this week.. He told supporters imbeciles at a rally in Florida this week to get out in vote on November 28^th.  Seeing how these boneheads believe everything The Don says, I’m pretty sure they went home and marked it on their Guns & Ammo calendars.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

One Hump After Another

Today’s biggest hump.

Texas Congressmoron  and Trump supporter imbecile Blake (The Flake) Farenthold is in the national news, but not for good reasons. When Bonehead Blake was asked on CNN last night if he would continue supporting Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump even if he said he has actually raped someone, he stumbled and mumbled, “maybe.”  Oops. Wrong answer Blakey Poo. Blake was sued by a staff member a couple of years for sexual harassment. I am assuming Blake's pajamas  are official Duck Dynasty pjs.

Honorable mention humps.  

I personally think that Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s chances of becoming President are the same as a snowball in hell, but I think he has a very good chance of becoming Bill (Have A Drink Dear, It Will Relax You) Cosby’s cell mate.

Oh goody, Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert has crawled out from under his rock to defend Trump’s vile video. Looney Louie says it is all Bill Clinton’s fault because back when Trumpy Poo said those things, he was friends with Bill. This dimwit also went on to say that if Hillary is elected she will come after the churches.  I don’t have a clue to what that means, but I do believe this proves without a doubt that Louie is as dumb as the rock he lives under.

Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson host of the 700 Club, that’s how many viewers they have, defended Trump’s misogynistic rant as being “macho”. I’m pretty sure that is in the Bible on page 234, Ignoramus 4:25 “The laying of hands on women shall be man’s manly province. Blessed are the gropers.”  
  

The Republican Wing-Nuts favorite myth is back making the rounds.  Voter Fraud.  After spending two minutes on Google, I found that voter fraud in the U.S. is next to zero.  The only voter fraud going on in this election will be that there is going to be a number of people who really are too stupid to vote.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Sunday Night Blab Fest

It seems Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump set a new record in the second Presidential debate.  He broke the bullshit record. 

I have noticed many of the Christian evangelical groups, being the true hypocrites that they are, are still backing Trump even after the video surfaced of his deplorable talk about women.  They say they love Jesus, but they love the Republican Party more.  I mean after all, what has Jesus done for them lately?  And Donnie Poo has promised to make them all rich.  When I see all of the mega-church’s out there and listen to the prosperity preachers pimps, I’m pretty sure they love the almighty dollar way more than the Almighty..

Loud Mouth of the House Paul (Lying) Ryan says he will support Trump but won’t campaign with him.  That’s kinda like saying, “sure I’ll do drugs with ya, but I won’t help you buy them”.  What a asshole….

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Emperor Has No Clothes

What is possibly the dumbest quote to come out after Donald )Little DICK-tator) Trump’s misogynistic comments caught on tape is from Tony (Faux Christian, Real Hypocrite) Perkins of the Family Research Council who said,  “My personal support for Donald Trump has never been based upon shared values.”  Sorry, wrong answer Tony.  If you support Trump, then you are just as big of a racist, misogynistic, homophobic asshole as The Don.   

Michele (I’m Happy, But My Husband Is Really Gay) Bachmann says she still supports Trump.  Well of course she does.  Michele was an imbecile long before she became a Trump supporter imbecile.
 

Trump VP Mike (Homophobic Asshole) Pence broke a world record yesterday.  It was for the 40 yard dash as he was running from reporters asking him about Trump’s comments on women.

I believe that if a person doesn’t like Hillary, then they shouldn’t vote for her.  If that person is voting for Trump just because they don’t like Hillary, that is dumb. If a person is voting for Trump because they like him, that is beyond dumb.

I do believe that Dumbass Donald’s stupid remarks will far surpass Romney’s 47% gaff with flying colors.  This really doesn’t qualify as an “October Surprise” as it came out of the clusterfuck known as the Trump campaign.

Of all the creepy clown stories in the news, this is by far the scariest.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Thursday Tidbits

If you look up the word “boring” in the dictionary you will find a video of the VP debate from Tuesday night.  I like Tim (A Really Nice Guy) Kane, but I think he would have been better off not interrupting Mike (Homophobic Asshole) Pence and simply making one of two responses each time after Mike’s two minutes of hot air.

1. Well that was a fucking lie.
2. Wow, what a load of bullshit that was.

Once again my number one investigator Snoop Dawg Dole has come up with things to make you smile.

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 65 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses?

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Stay tuned for future adventures.