Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Harrumph Day


''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''
—George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2000







George Bush. "All Hat and No Cattle.



Here is the real question.  Do we really want another inept, incompetent, out of his league clown from Texas as President?






Rick Perry, “All Hair and No Clue.”


Newton Leroy (One is the loneliest number) Gingrich vowed Sunday night in Los Angles to continue fighting for the Republican nomination for president, "no matter what it takes." He said he is hitting the campaign trail first thing next week or for sure the week after.  Their first stop is Rodeo Drive, then on to Tiffany’s, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Macy’s.

Nitwit and his campaign staff had a disagreement on which direction his campaign was going.  Nitwit said he thought they were going to Washington and the staff said they thought the campaign was going to Hell in a hand basket. .

 
I’m a little surprised that Nancy (Big Mouth, Little Brain) Pelosi wants Congressman Tony (I’ll show you mine if you will…oh what the heck, here is mine)Weiner to step down.  As long as he is in the spotlight most of her dumb comments go unnoticed. 


The upcoming Sarah (I may not look dumb, but I is) Palin documentary is entitled “The Undefeated.”  What? THE UNDEFEATED…? Did I miss something?  Is Sarah Palin Vice-President and John McCain President?   I don’t think so.  I believe a more appropriate title would have been “The Uncompleted” since she can’t seem to finish anything…you know, like her term as Governor of Alaska.  Critics of the documentary say Sarah attacks the Republican Old Guard.   Excuse me, like there is a “New Guard” in the Republican Party.  I don’t think so. GOP…Grumpy Old People.



Congressman Tony (Teeny Weeny) Weiner is taking a leave of absence to seek professional help.  Word is he’s taking a Photoshop class. 


The U.S. Sergeant at Arms Office confirmed Monday that the Senate's website had been hacked this past weekend.  An office official said it was mostly just inconvenient.  Well yeah, like these boneheads know anything.


The so called Republican debate Monday night should have been called a meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society.  I am pretty sure they were all holding hands and blowing kisses at one another when it was over. 

 

Bret (From Cheese-head to Dick-head) Farve sorta acted like he was retiring yesterday.  He said, “I’ve been beat up enough.”  Of course the father of the girl Bret sent his last cell phone text to didn’t agree.




Stay tuned for future adventures.
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Monday, June 13, 2011

PALINTOLOGY...The Study of Sarah: The Sequeal




Here are a few thoughts about Sarah Palin. I know there are a lot of folks out there that think she ought to be President. That’s fine, what a boring world it would be if we all thought the same way. I don’t think so and here are some of the reasons I think she would be a terrible President.

Let’s look at her governing record. She was mayor of a small town (less than 10,000 people) and then Governor of Alaska, for half a term. SHE QUIT…..

Now let’s take a look at Alaska, the largest state in the union. Did you know it has the smallest population? Rhode Island which is the smallest state has about 350,000 thousand more people than Alaska does. There are over 60 cities in the US that have bigger populations than the entire state of Alaska. Sorry but there are many mayors in the country that govern with much larger budgets and have far more governing experience than Sarah. The bottom line is they completed their terms. SHE QUIT…..

She has the propensity to stick her foot in her mouth more often than Nancy Pelosi or Joe Biden and that’s saying something. I was going to say she lies a lot but she’s a politician and they all lie a lot, so that’s moot. She is great at throwing out little sound bites and talking points that some hack has thought up in a lobbyist’s back room to keep from talking about real issues, but I have yet to hear her say anything that sounded like an original idea. Of course if you ask a Republican how to cure cancer, they will tell “Cut taxes.” It’s their only answer.

Now here is the real deal. Sarah doesn’t want to be President; she just wants you to want her to be President. She doesn’t want to be President for all the reasons above. Being President is a hard job and as her past shows, she can’t handle or doesn’t want to do the work. While she was Governor she commented quite often to close colleagues that she hated her job. Remember SHE QUIT.

She doesn’t even care much for her family except when the camera are rolling. During the campaign for governor she told one close aide to not confide in Todd, her husband, because he couldn’t be trusted.

Whether or not you agree with Sarah about Paul Revere or believe that she was technically right as a few historians have stated, you have admit she looked and sounded like she did not have a clue what she was talking about. In fact, the interviewer in Boston never asked her about Paul Revere, he asked her how the trip was going.

What she did was answer the wrong question. Can you imagine how screwed up things could get if a head of state asked her one question and she responded with her usual off-the-cuff rambling answer to a question that wasn’t even asked? I shudder to think of how dangerous our countries security could be affected because Sarah wants to play at being President.

She is just as ignorant of the history of Alaska. In her resignation speech she says, “We were purchased as a territory because of a member of President Abe Lincoln's cabinet, William Seward.” Of course President Lincoln had been dead for two years when this took place and Seward was a member of President Andrew Johnson cabinet. Sarah’s resignation speech was so incoherent that even her staff wasn’t sure what she said.

Don’t get me wrong, Sarah is not stupid; she just doesn’t know anything about governing, foreign policy, budgets, history, or public service. I think Sarah is a self-serving, cold calculating, narcissistic woman who will do or say anything to get what she wants. MONEY AND FAME. 

I could care less if Sarah makes a gazillion dollars selling books, doing TV shows or making self-serving speeches to who ever is willing to pay her. She can run her mouth as long as she wants. I just don’t want her running the country.


Today's good read is Blind Allegiance To Sarah Palin by Frank Bailey.  It is a fascinating look at Sarah's Campaign for Governor as told by one of her most trusted staff members. 





 Stay tuned for future adventures.
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Friday, June 10, 2011

The Far Right Reverand Rick




Rick( I saw the light and my hair-do looks great)Perry is coming to town to do his Oral Roberts impersonation. As I understand it, he will be healing the sick, raising the dead, making it rain,(Oops, strike that. That didn’t work) turning water into wine, gathering up large quantities of cash and collecting votes.

This is all going to take place at Reliant Stadium. You know if he really wanted to get a vote or two, he would turn the Houston Texans into winners, but I don't think even “Hair-do” can pull that one off.

I’m sure he will have his six-guns with him to take care of any non-believers, gays, immigrants, or any welfare recipients who might slip through the security of The American Family Association. They are the hate group out of Tupelo, Mississippi that is organizing and footing the bill for this little shindig. They have a long history of making inflammatory statements about abortion and gay rights.

Little known fact about Rick, his favorite hymn is “Stairway To Heaven” and many years ago was a member of The First Church of The Frisbee. They believe when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get down.
For lots more good stuff on Rick (Serial Politician) Perry’s blatant smoozing of the Religious Right see Juanita's blog or this great blog 



Someone claiming to be a psychic said they had vision of multiple dead bodies at farm house in Liberty County, but when the F.B.I and other law enforcement officers checked  it out they only found the weekly meeting of the Liberty County Republicans.


News flash…Congressman Tony (teeny weeny) Weiner’s wiener has come out of hiding. An explicit photo of Weiner’s wiener has emerged on the internet. When Mrs Weiner, who is pregnant and I assume it is by this same celebrity wiener, was asked about this latest photo, she replied, “ I don’t know why everyone is so upset, it’s really such a little thing..”


On thing you can say about Jack Kevorkian, Dr. Death, not to be confused with a proctologist I once knew called “Dr. Depth,” is that he was never sued by a patient for malpractice.


Poor Sarah has more problems with her Hysterical Bus Tour. Her bus only turns to the right and she has been going around in a circle for a week   Sarah said since the tour was half over she would probably just quit, that was what she usually did when things weren’t going her way.


Looks like ole Newton Leroy Gingrich’s campaign will have to be born-again just like him. The entire top echelon of Niwit’s presidential campaign resigned this week in a stunning mass exodus. I understand Nitwit was wandering around his office mumbling, “Help me Jesus.”


Delta Airlines has been charging soldiers for their extra bags coming home from deployment. Several of 34 soldiers who had an extra bag were forced to pay $200 of their own money in fees in order to make their connecting flight to Atlanta.… I’m glad I don’t fly much anymore but when I do, I can guarantee you it won’t be on Delta.





Stay tuned for future adventures
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Harrumph Day



So far Sarah’s Hysterical Bus Tour is very Palin-esk.. It seems to have no direction, gets lost quite often, has made a number of wrong turns and has ended up in the bar ditch a few times, but on the up-side she has made a major gaffe at every stop.

We now have Sarah Palin’s explanation of why Paul Revere was ringing those bells. It was door bells. She claimed he was one of Boston’s first Jehovah’s Witness.

24,199 pages of emails sent between former Gov. Sarah Palin and state officials are set to be released on Friday to the public. Early word is that 24,196 pages contain the words, “You betcha."


The International Atheist Meeting was last week in Dublin, Ireland. Man you know there was some swearing, drinking, fighting and screwing going on there and just down the street was the Atheist conference.

The interesting thing is that the Atheist, who totally deny the existence of God, were meeting right next door to the International Agnostic Meeting who only doubt the existence of God. Across the street was the International Apathy Meeting and they of course don’t care either way.


Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is the real deal. He walked the walk, talked the talk and made the maid.


And the big winner in the Name That Wiener Contest goes to Democratic Congressman Anthony (Oscar Mayer) Weiner. Mr. Weiner wins a one-way trip to the Hall of Shame for incredibly stupid adolescent politicians. He joins Congressman Chris(Shirtless) Lee, Senator John (If my lips are moving, I’m lying) Edwards, Congressman Charles (I lost my Ways and Means) Rangel, Senator John (What, humping my best friend’s wife is wrong?) Ensign, and former South Carolina Governor Mark (I’m hiking) Sanford.


A global poll just released names Americans the funniest in the world. Well yeah, when you are home to Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressman Anthony Weiner, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Pat Robertson, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, and John Edwards, how can you not be?


I see where Governor Rick (Serial Politician) Perry is having a prayer meeting here in Houston. It’s called: “The Response, A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis.” Wow, just think if this works as well as when the Governor  had us all pray for rain….wait a minute, we didn’t get a drop. Never mind.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

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Monday, June 6, 2011

Where Have All The Jobs Gone?



The number one question in the country today is where are the jobs? Well, there aren’t many and I’ll tell you why. In my opinion, one of our biggest problems is that we as a country have moved to a financial system where we only make money off of money. Many years ago we were based on being a productive system. We made, built or produced things. All kinds of things and we did it better than anyone else in the world. “Made In America,” really meant something.

Then we moved into being a creative system. We decided we would invent, create and design things, but let the rest of the world make, build or produce them. This was fine for a while as we transitioned from one kind of job to different kinds of jobs.

Now we have moved into being a financial system. We just make money off of money. We don’t build, make or produce hardly anything so there are fewer and fewer jobs. Most decisions in this country are being made by Wall Street, financial institutions and large corporations. These people and companies don’t make, build or produce anything. They don’t even come up with ideas of new things to make, build or produce. We were better off in the days of the robber barons than today because they at least produced jobs and products.

The stock market is nothing more than high stakes gambling. I’m sure it didn’t start out that way but it has certainly evolved to that. At one time a person invested (bought stock in a company) because they thought it was a good company and maybe they could make some money along with the company. If the company did well so did the investor, or at least didn’t lose money.

Now, the value of stock can change in a heartbeat, not because of something the company did, but because of something totally unrelated in another part of world. Also brokerage companies play little games that the investor knows nothing about. Buying short is one, like they did a couple of years ago which helped bring on the mortgage crisis.

There was a time when Wall Street and Main Street intersected, but no longer. Main Street is like that once thriving small town that is now dying on the vine after it got by-passed by the Interstate highway.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for capitalism. It’s still the best system in the world but it totally depends on us to keep buying stuff. That was alright as long as we were making most of it. That has changed and now we are seeing the results of that change.

Isn’t it ironic that the headlines scream about high un-employment, gas and food prices going through the roof, and how sad the economy is while the largest corporations enjoy some of their highest profits ever and the giant financial firms are handing out major bonuses? It is not capitalism that is ruing our country, it is corporatism.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Have Gun, Will Travel




Now Rick (I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do and a gun) Perry says he is thinking about running for President. Wasn’t he talking about Texas seceding in the recent past? Anyway, a "Draft Perry 2012" website is up and running and get this; it is sponsored by 5 California lawmakers. Well yeah, these yahoos had Arnold for Governor. Even an idiot like Slick Rick looks good beside that bed warmer. The only thing Arnold has done noteworthy is to join the who’s who list of famous folks who have fathered children out of wedlock. Here are few names that come to mind, John Edwards, Eddie Murphy, most of the players in the NBA and God.

Here are some facts about how Texas has done under Perry’s periscope.
• Texas is #49 in verbal SAT scores in the nation (493) and #46 in average math SAT scores (502).
• Texas is #36 in the nation in high school graduation rates (68%).
• Texas is #33 in the nation in teacher salaries.

Oh yeah, we are in the top ten for having the biggest budget short fall. We rank #8 with $27 billion and had to lay off hundreds of teachers and other public workers, (fire and police departments).Way to go Rick.

Rick (Serial Politician) Perry doesn’t bring experience to the party, he brings baggage. Here is a guy who was born in a lower middle class family who has worked in government jobs all of his life and is a millionaire. Gee, wonder how he did that? You think he saved that much by switching  to Geico?
And if that is not enough for ya on Slick Rick, check out http://juanitajean.com/


New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the new darling of the Republican Party, is certainly fitting right into the Republican mode of saying one thing and doing another. The so called fiscal-conservative took a State Police helicopter to his son’s baseball game. Nice move.


The scariest thing about all of the Republican candidates who have announced and those who are about to announce they are running for President is their nano knowledge about foreign policy. Most of them couldn’t tell you if Bin Laden was involved with Al Qaeda or Al Roker.


Two friends in Houston were comparing handguns and one of them was accidentally shot in the chest. Seems like another good reason to make it mandatory for gun owners to take an I.Q. test.

 On a recent field trip to Baltimore a group of eighth-graders from Berwick, Pennsylvania were taken to lunch at Hooters. I am assuming they were members of the school’s Audubon Society.


Sarah Palin and Donald Trump’s meeting took a bad turn this week.. That thing on Donald’s head snapped at Sarah and she shot it. Early reports say it only suffered a hair line fracture.


Does anybody else think the Viagra commercials are as dumb as I do? Their slogan is, “The Age of Knowing.” They have a guy driving down the road and his car over heats so he stops and puts water in it. Wow, is that brilliant or what? Who would have ever thought to do that? What I am really surprised about is they haven’t used Jesus as their spokesman. I mean who could better represent “Resurrection” and “The Second Coming.” Plus you can make some great rhymes with erections and resurrection.


Today's good read is Ghost Country by Patrick Lee.  This is a real page turner and one of the best Sci-Fi thrillers I have read in a while.



Stay tuned for future adventures.
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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Hurricane Season



U.S. weather forecasters announced last week that residents along the Gulf and East coasts should expect an above average Atlantic hurricane season.  Oh goody, just what we wanted to hear.   They say between 12 and 18 named storms are likely during the up-coming hurricane season which begins today..  Six to 10 are likely to be hurricanes; and three to six could become major hurricanes, ranging from Category 3-5.

Here is something that might get your attention if you live in the Houston area as I do. We have not had a major storm or Category 3 hit the U.S. coast since 2005.  And you say, “Listen Rod,” I went through Ike in 2008; what are you talking about?  The fact is Ike was only a Category 2 when it blew through Houston and Galveston causing $10 billion dollars in damage.  

The real point I am trying to make is that we haven’t had a major storm hit us since Carla in 1961 and she wasn’t a direct hit.  We were very lucky last year because El Nino winds steered most of the tropical storms away from our coastlines.   This year we may not be so fortunate as it doesn’t look like El Nino is going to develop at this time.

Eleven years ago when I began writing SURGE, I had just read a similar article about how active the next ten to fifteen years were going to be for hurricanes.  After much research and many visits to hurricane conferences, interviewing lots of folks with the National Weather Bureau and emergency managers in our area, I came to know how vulnerable Houstonians and the people who live in New Orleans were to a major hurricane.

I decided on a novel because I didn’t want to write about hurricanes that had been here, ie, the great Galveston hurricane of 1900 or Carla, I wanted to write about the one that was still out there. After talking with a lot of different people in the area, I knew there was a certain amount of apathy about hurricanes.  I was guilty of it myself. My foremost priority was to have an exciting story that would be a good read no matter what part of the country you lived in, but I also wanted to try to make people who live in coastal areas aware of what could happen if we were to take a direct hit by a Category 4 or 5 storm.


SURGE was published in 2004, the same year that Florida got slammed with 4 hurricanes but we here in Texas were unscathed. Things got really scary in 2005. We all sat in front of our TV’s and watched the terrible scenes unfolding from Katrina’s visit to New Orleans which was only a Category 2 storm by the time it came ashore.

 I still remember very vividly coming home from a live interview via satellite with Rita Cosby on MSNBC as Hurricane Rita churned as a Category 5 in the Gulf heading straight for Houston.  This was a scenario that I had been living with for almost 5 years and now it was coming true. Fortunately as we all know, Rita weaken to Category 2 and turned right before hitting us, doing the most damage to Beaumont and southern Louisiana.

If you are interested in what could have happened had she not made a little jog and stayed a Category 5, I invite you to read SURGE.  It’s still available at Amazon; book or Kindle (you can click on the button by the book cover), or you can order it at any book store in the world.  I have been told by a number of weather experts including the fine people at the National Hurricane Center in Miami and hurricane consultants that SURGE is an accurate portrayal of what could happen if Houston has to face a direct hit from a Category 5 storm.


“….It presents a scary scenario that is entirely possible in the Houston/Galveston area.  The type of storm described in this book is a Meteorologist’s nightmare.”
Gene Hafele, National Weather Service, Houston/Galveston.

“Being an emergency manager, I was a bit reluctant to get started, thinking I wouldn’t really care for it, but when I finally got to it, I couldn’t put it down.  A great story with some good surprises.”
Eliot Jennings, Emergency Manager Coordinator, City of Galveston

“What made Surge a gripping, “couldn’t put it down” read, was Tanner’s physical descriptions of Dolly.  Few in this area understand the enormous destructive power of a Category 5 hurricane and how a direct hit will transform this area.  Tanner translates the dry statistical data and predictions into a frightening description of what will happen to those unfortunates caught in such a storm’s path.  I could hear the howling winds and see the angry storm surge charging up Galveston Bay.  I could feel the “soaked to the bone” exhaustion as the characters fought to survive Dolly’s wrath.”
                          Bill King, Mayor, City of Kemah

   
“In SURGE, Tanner has dotted his work with a cast of characters as colorful as his background.  There’s the good, the bad, the beauty and those in-between.  From politicians to Joe Blue-collar, they’re all there and then some.”
Chuck Hlava, Editor Mariner’s Log


“Mr Tanner’s highly descriptive narrative brings the story alive showing what emergency managers along the coast fear more than any type of event, a major hurricane, what I call a Tropical Terrorist.  His wordsmithing has made this storm story a very human one - thanks to the use of real locations known to people that live in the area today.  As I read it, I could picture the event happening.”
                        Lew Fincher, VP of Hurricane Consulting

“Not only will you not be able to put it down, you’ll also get up the next morning; want to board up your house; get your boat prepared for a storm and head for Colorado.”
Gene Rutt, Editor Tropicalattitude Magazine.

So hurricane season is here again and once again the same thought is running through my mind.  That storm is sill out there.




Stay tuned for future adventures
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