Harrump Day

This year’s Super Bowl featured 59 minutes and thirty seconds worth of good professional football and thirty seconds of professional wrestling.  It seems if the Seattle Seahawks were suppose to let the New England Patriots win, they could have done in a less dramatic way. If the Patriots have any class at all, they will send Pete Carroll a giant thank you note.   

Another responsible gun owner ends up in the hospital.  A three year old in New Mexico who found mom’s gun in her purse, shot mom in the shoulder and dad in the butt.  When questioned, the three year old said she gave them fair warning. She had told them three times she was tired of oatmeal in the morning.

Speaking of guns as folks here in the Lone Star state often do, newly elected Texas State Representative Republican Dan (Thanks To Everyone For Not Voting) Flynn has written a bill that will let teachers use deadly force on anyone including shooting students.  For you pansies who thought those nuns were mean using their rulers on your knuckles, be thankful you didn’t go to school in Texas.  

Kentucky Senaterrilbe Rand (My First Name is Ann) Paul has jumped into the vaccinations fray. Rand said that vaccinations should be voluntary and then went on utter this crap. “The state doesn’t own your children. Parents own their children,” Really….Where did you purchase your children Rand? The Kids-R-Us store. And this bonehead wants to be President.  

Alabama Congressmoron Mo (You Probably Know My Brothers, Curly, Larry and Shimp) Brooks has obviously teamed up with Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert. Mo is sure that those terror babies sneaking across our borders that Looney Louie is always ranting about are to blame for the measles outbreak.  Mo went on to say that he wouldn’t be surprised to find that they are also to blame for “restless leg syndrome.”

I am pretty sure there is one TeaNut Republican who doesn’t care about the vaccinations controversy and that is North Carolina Senaterrible Thom (Germs Don’t Bother Me) Tillis. Ole Tommy thinks that restaurant employees shouldn’t have to wash their hands after going to the bathroom. As far as he’s concerned, that is just another useless government regulation. He said employers should only hire people who don’t pee on themselves. 

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz has admitted that he tried marijuana as a teenager. He also said that he did inhale but that he never exhaled which explains why he is brain-dead today.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Extra, Extra. Read All About It.

And the big winner in yesterday’s Super Bowl: Las Vegas. Actually I think it would have been a much better game if the Denver Broncos had participated. 

According to all the tweets, Coca Cola proved without a doubt that racism is alive and well in the United States.

Personally I think they need to extend the Super Bowl pre-game show another 14 hours.  The five and half hours on Sunday weren’t nearly enough time.  They didn’t even get to detail the lives of the Cheerleaders, distant family members of both teams or fans.

Rumors are that Governor Christie was responsible for the passengers getting sick on the cruise ship out of New Jersey.  They say it was payback for people wanting to leave New Jersey to go on vacation somewhere else.

 Miley (How Do You Like My Birthday Suit?) Cyrus reveals in W Magazine that she has very few friends and clothes.   

Fox news blow hard Bill ( I’m Really a Bully) O’Reilly proved Mark Twains quote,  “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.”



Stay tuned for future adventures.