Somethings That Passed Thru My Brain and Came Out My Computer

Members of the Texas Federation of Republican Women at their State Convention in San Antonio this past week gave a standing ovation to Texas Senaterrible Ted (What Shut Down? I Got Paid.) Cruz.  I understand that they thought the main speaker was Tom Cruise.

Republican women.   oxymorons?

Liberals say “Live and Let Live”
Conservatives say, “Live My way or No Way.”

Republicans are great at “talking points.”  Too bad they are so bad at “thinking points.”

The Republican controlled House committee responsible for Obamacare oversight asked for expert advice on how to fix the glitches in the system.  I understand they wanted Sheldon Cooper to look in to it.

  
Here is what I have to say to the next idiot Republican Congressmoron who says I am here to see that we have a smaller government.  Dear Mr. Republican either quit or shut the fuck up.

Only in America.  No longer do you have to let your beard and hair grow long, get tattooed and take drugs to join a biker gang.  Enterprise leasing is now leasing motorcycles so your book club or bridge club can rent motorcycles for the week end and you can ride in a pact to harass tourist driving through your neck of the woods.

Why is it called a free market if nothing is free?

Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos lost a game.  The Indianapolis Colts lost Reggie Wayne for the year.  




Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Day Off

Once again we are having a holiday for someone who doesn’t deserve ten seconds of our time, much less a day.  Good ole Chris (Where’s the Poop Deck?) Columbus who made four trips across the Atlantic and never sat foot in America has a major holiday dedicated to him.  Hey I’m all for holidays but why can’t we have them for somebody who actually did something?

I’m talking about things that meant something or changed the world, like the guy who invented the margarita or maybe who ever gave us the snuggie.  Important things like who discovered Fargo North Dakota or who came up with Honey Boo Boo.  Not some guy who couldn’t tell the North Star from the moon.  The Captain and Gilligan were better sailors than this goober. 


This comes under the heading, Football Theory of Relativity.  Gary Kubiak head coach of the Houston Texans was a back up quarterback his entire playing career and now he has a back up quarterback for his starting quarterback.  For you Houston fans, you do remember that when Peyton Manning was leaving the Colts he expressed interest in playing for the Texans but the Texans weren’t interested.  After all they had Matt Schaub.


The first nail in the coffin has been driven.  Ted (All Mouth, No Brains) Cruz is the overwhelming favorite in the Conservative Straw Poll.  Just ask Ron or Rand (Two PeaBrains in Pod) Paul or Rick (I Should be in a) Santorum. 

The big Tea Party rally in Washington over the week-end was a really big blow out.  I understand they had over 15 people show up. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.