Just A Few Thoughts

I predicted last Friday that with the CPAC (Creepy Pathetic Assholes Conference) beginning up in Washington that there would be a Bullshit Blizzard hitting the country.  Well I was wrong. It was a tsunami of bullshit.  Wisconsin’s TeaNut Governor Scott (I Really Don’t Like People) Walker’s compared his state’s protesters to ISIS terrorist and said that he is totally qualified to be President because he watched every episode of The West Wing.

Phil (Head Duck Dick Head) Robertson gave everyone a history lesson saying that hippies started sexually transmitted disease in America and that it wasn’t a snake that enticed Eve to take a bite out of the apple; it was a duck.

Donald (Everyday Is A Bad Hair Day) Trump told everyone he can handle ISIS because he is the “world’s greatest negotiator”.  I guess he is going invite them to on Celebrity Apprentice and then kick them off.  

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz simply asked for a moment of silent prayer for his favorite author, Dr. Spock.  Little Teddy said he always loved “The Cat in the Hat.”

Mostly it was a three day rant about Obama to which I think this bumper sticker says it all.

My understanding is that the Guinness Book of Records are looking at this conference as setting the record for the most stupid people ever gathered in one place.    

I understand the author of 50 Shades of Grey, the steamy book full of S &M sex, has got some sequels on the way.  
50 Shades of Green is about a man who is less than endowed and is obsessed with penis envy.
50 Shades of Red is about a couple who don’t have sex because taking their clothes off is too embarrassing.
50 Shades of Blue is about a depressed man who has been rejected for sex 1,049 times.
50 Shades of Yellow is about a woman who is afraid to have sex.
50 Shades of Black is about is about interracial sex.

There is a small town close to us named Alto.  I am shocked that it is not teeming with illegal aliens.  You would think that all those folks coming over from Mexico when hitting the city limits of Alto would stop.
Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Here is the latest weather outlook for the country.  A Bullshit blizzard is beginning in Washington D.C.  CPAC (Creepy Pathetic Assholes Conference) is underway. I predict we will inundated for the next couple of days with incredibly stupid speeches and I guarantee not one solution or original idea will be brought forth.  

A new survey shows that 49% of Republicans don’t believe in evolution.  I think that number is a little bit low.  I would say at least 80% of the Republicans I have met haven’t evolved and if you are talking about the scripture spewing, gun toting, homophobic TeaNut Republicans, that number goes up to around 97%. I have met rocks that were more evolved than TeaNuts.

I saw where some goober said that TeaNut’s weren’t racist because one of their leading spokesmen was Dr. Ben (I Play A Doctor On Faux News) Carson.  I’m still laughing. I’m pretty sure closest ole Bennie has come to being a doctor is playing Hasbro’s Operation game. So far his biggest accomplishment is making Herman (Nein,Nein,Nein) Cain look like a genius.

Texas State Republican Represenitive Donna (I Have the I.Q. Of A Turnip) Campbell has written a bill to keep foreign countries from buying the Alamo. No not Alamo Car Rental, THE ALAMO.  It seems The Alamo has been included in the United Nations list of World Heritage Sites, which is as I understand it, a very prestigious list.  Double Dumb Donna doesn’t trust the United Nations and had this to say, “I can tell you anything that starts with the ‘UN’ gives me cause for concern,”  I guess un’s at the end are ok, like say Kim Jong un.




Stay tuned for future adventures.