Another Day, A Few More Humps

Hump of the week:

The entire state of North Carolina.  A school board in North Carolina will now allow students to carry pepper spray into the bathrooms to fend off intruders. School board member Travis (My Age And My I.Q. Are The Same Number) Allen said he thought this was a good idea because he had been pepper sprayed a number of times and it really hurts.  I wonder if anyone thought to ask him why he had been pepper sprayed a number times.

Oklahoma pastor Alvin (I Really Am A) Weasel was caught for the second time trying to carry a gun on an airplane. The good rev thought that maybe this was God’s way of teaching him a lesson. He said, "Perhaps he's trying to use this so others can learn from my mistake and then perhaps he's using this to teach me.”  I’m a little confused here.  Was God trying to teach him not to carry a gun on an airplane or teaching him to hide it better.  

Texas Senaterrible and Republican Presidential failure, Rafael (Creepy & Sleazy) Cruz is finally starting to get what is coming to him.  Seems the FEC has caught him with his hand in the cookie jar for taking in more money from contributors than is allowed, so he has to pay it back. On top of that he is being sued for several hundred thousand dollars for using music in his campaign ads without permission.  I’m pretty sure God told him to do that.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

I’m really confused over this Trump thing.  All I see are articles about how Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is going to ruin the Republican Party.  Did I miss something here?   Wasn’t it Republicans who have made him the nominee?  

After all folks, Fox News, hate talk radio and the Republican Party have been building and cultivating these racist, misogynistic, bigoted morons for over a decade and now that these same morons have found a candidate that they like, the party is all aghast. Boy that Karma can sure bite you in the ass sometime.  

Maine Governor Paul (Certified Asshole) Le Page wants to have a job in the Trump administration if he gets elected President King.  Pinhead Paul who has a reputation for being a offensive buffoon would fit right in nicely.  Most of Looney LePage’s vetos have been overturned so I think he is wanting to go somewhere he can be rejected on a national level.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrarrumph Day

Could be the Hump of the Year.

Of all the incredibility stupid, arsine statements that have slithered out of slimy politician’s mouths in the last few days, this one takes the cake. Texas Lt. Governor Dan (I Was A Sports Nut, Then A Religious Nut And Now I’m Just Nuts) Patrick uttered these words today. "I would love to see Ted Cruz as president one day but I would really love to see him on the Supreme Court the next 40 years. He could be the greatest Supreme Court justice in our time.” 

Like they say, “Everything is bigger in Texas”, apparently that goes for morons too. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Soap Box

I really didn’t think that any Governor could top Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott for being a total asshole, but I was wrong.  Republican Governor Paul (Total Asshole) LePage of Maine is clearly a contender.  Peccant Paul vetoed a bipartisan bill that would have allowed pharmacists to dispense an effective anti-overdose drug.  He gave this reason for vetoing it, “Naloxone does not truly save lives; it merely extends them until the next overdose,”  And there you have it,  another compassionate Republican at work. Fortunately lawmakers voted unanimously to override his veto.

Once again I am reminded that I live in the midst of Red-neck, Right-Wing Republican, Religious Wackos.  Lufkin City Councilman Mike (I Come From A Family Of) Hicks plans to introduce an anti-transgender bathroom ordinance in response to Target’s announced restroom policy.  Little Mikey said, “it is the likely impersonation of transgender for criminal purposes that is worrying."  As far as I can tell, there has never been a police report anywhere in the United States of a man putting on a wig and dress so he could go into a ladies restroom to molest children, but I do have to say it seems to me that there are thousands of assholes like Mike out there impersonating Christians.

But on the plus side, I have as my partner in crime and cohort in life, one of the most creative people on the planet.  She is a great artist and wonderful writer and you don’t have to take my word for it because you can check it out right here.


Stay tuned for future adventures.