More of The Walking Dumb

I am pretty sure North Korea’s kid dictator Kim Jong-un is no longer among the living or if he is breathing, it is in Dennis(America's Ambassador for Uranus) Rodman’s basement. He hasn’t been seen in almost six weeks and I understand the top leaders in North Korea are now referring to him as Kim Jong-done.

Texas Attorney General Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is very upset that a federal judge has ruled against the state’s ban on same sex marriage. Little Greggy claims that same sex marriages will cause heterosexuals to not have children. I have thought about that statement for two days and it still doesn’t make sense. It is becoming obvious that when that mean ole tree fell on Greggy Poo, it caused quite a bit of brain damage also.   

I do believe Alaska has as many idiot Congressmorons as Texas. Alaskan Congressmoron Don (I Sure as Hell Ain’t) Young said this in an interview. "Don’t you ever touch me.  The last guy who touched me ended up on the ground dead.”  Of course what everyone is wondering is who did this bonehead kill?  Ole Donnie is 81 years old and seems to have gotten dumber every year he has been on this planet. 

I think it is time to shoot my mouth off again about guns.  I believe there are legitimate hunters who own guns and there are gun nuts who own guns. The gun nuts are exactly what it sounds like. They are mostly people who own 32’s,45’s and 44 hand guns and AK-47's and have I.Q.’s much lower than that. One of their big talking points is “well hell, you can kill somebody with a knife or a fork, I don’t hear anybody wanting to take away knifes or forks.”

 I have to agree, a person can kill someone with a knife or fork. In fact you can kill someone with a number of different items.  The difference is that I believe it takes quite a bit of skill and courage to kill someone with one of those items as opposed to any wimpy, limp-dick, chicken-shit asshole who can pull a trigger. Yes I am saying that gun nuts are wimpy, limp-dick, chicken shit assholes. Are we clear? 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Jersey Troll

New Jersey Governor Chris(I Know Nothing) Christie is finding that the toll on the George Washington Bridge may be a lot higher than he thought. It looks like the Republican Party’s Great White Whale, er, shark, Hope is sinking in a sea of lies, bad judgment and stupidity.  I am still laughing, couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  The absolute stupidity of his deputy chief of staff Bridget Anne Kelly is stunning. Doing the deed is one thing, talking about it in an email is beyond comprehension.  This may be the dumbest political blunder since Watergate.

The two hour press conference was quite entertaining. Instead of the blustery Col. Klink showing up, he had turned into Sgt. Schultz and knew “nuthinz.” Everybody involved in this little episode was appointed by Christie and yet he didn’t know anything about it.  Sorry, not buying it. 

Dennis(I Really Am That Stupid)  Rodman has apologized for his stupid remarks when in North Korea last week.  He says he was drunk.  Oh well, that’s different then. I guess he was drunk when he decided to go visit his buddy Kim Jong un in the first place. I would stay drunk too if my only friend was a psychotic dictator.

Tom ( Hey Remember Me) Arnold said he dropped 90 pounds because he stopped eating like a jerk.  Now if he could just stop acting like a jerk.

Last Wednesday was Elvis’s 79th birthday.  I am a little worried that we haven’t had any Elvis sightings in a while.  I hope he is not sick. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures.