Tiz The Season

 Once again Mother Nature has drug her cold front through town.  Spent the day covering up water faucets and wrapping up windows.  Boy what fun.  I don't like cold weather, never have.  I spent a year in Denver many years ago and if I never see snow again, it will be fine with me. If I want to see snow, I'll go visit it somewhere else.  I am a warm weather person. 

I think maybe I'm part bear.  I really would like to sleep through the winter and wake up when spring has sprung.  Christmas is not my favorite time of the year anyway and the weather makes it doubly so. As I said a while back, I always get a touch of the humbug this time of year. 

I'm not a religious person so that part doesn't interest me and mostly I believe the Christmas season is a product of retail merchants to make us feel really terrible and guilty if we don't buy lots of stuff.  I believe we should give gifts to people we like anytime of the year we feel like it. Not just at Christmas. 

Now that I have got that said, I have to get out of here and go buy presents. And by the way, I hope everyone has a happy holiday.

Stay tuned for future adventures.    

 

A Few Quotes From Yesteryear

This was originally written in 2016.  

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 65 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses?

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.