Merry Christopher Columbus Day

I know I touched on this last week but now that it is here, explain to me why we give Christopher Columbus a national holiday?  I mean now that we know he didn’t discover America and have known that for quite a while.  Like years and years.

Here is a guy who at best discovered the Bahamas.  I can see why travel agents would hold him up as a hero, but by all accounts, Popeye was a better sailor.  He was said to be mean to his men; a slave owner and pretty much a jerk.  Now if we called it National Jerk Day, I would be in to it.  Just think, there are a lot of folks we could honor on that deal.  Just fill in the your nominees here:___________.

Or why don’t we have National Columbus, Texas Day?  That’s a nice little town up the road from Houston with a lot good folks living there.  And there is Columbus, Ohio, and Columbus Georgia. I’m sure all of those folks are nice. 

How about Columbo Day?  He had a pretty good TV show and always discovered who the real killer was.  Chris Columbus directed the first two Harry Potter movies.  I would go for him over Christopher the Bonehead Sailor.

Surly our textbooks don’t still say Chris discovered America, however with the religious right-wing-nuts running the Texas Education Board, you never know.  I’m pretty sure they think Jesus discovered America.

Hey don’t get me wrong, I’m all for holidays.  In fact my postman told me he needs another day off.  He said the stress of losing my mail every week was really wearing him out.

Stay tuned for future adventures and check out Sleeps Til Noon at www.hotslop.com

Octoberfestering.....

 
Oh boy, it’s October and the month of one of my favorite holidays.  I’ll be getting my costume out shortly and making a list of all the creepy places I’m going to discover.  Of course I’m talking about National Lief Erikson day.  It’s coming up Friday the 9th and it will be great.  You can dress up like a rabid Minnesota Viking football fan for a day and run around eating a huge turkey leg while shouting for more wine.

Why Lief Erikson day?  I’ll tell you why.  Lief was vacationing in Cape Cod and on Martha’s Vineyard five hundred years before Christopher Columbus’s mom dropped her pants so Mr. Columbus could do a little exploring.  The real point here is that Chris was a terrible sailor and never set foot in America.   He got as close as an island in the Caribbean and that was it.  On top of that, how can you say Columbus discovered America when there were native Americans already living here?  It is obvious that Chris might have been a lousy sailor but he had a world class press agent. 

Chris would probably be bigger than ever in today's time.  He would fit right into the headlines of the day with, Paris, Jon & Kate, Bristol, and the Kardashians.  Boneheads who are constantly in the news only because they are boneheads.  The fact that we continue to read about them only proves that our rubbernecker gene is hereditary and at times much stronger than our common sense gene.  
So let's all dress up like Lief Erikson on Friday and see if we can make the local news.

A reminder to check Sleeps Til Noon on www.hotslop.com

Stay tuned for future adventures.