You Talkin' To Me

 

We know that birds and animals communicate with each other. I think they do a much better job at it than we do.  We have seen flocks of birds turn at the same time and schools of fish do the same thing.  Whereas humans struggle with who goes first at a four-way intersection.  Probably the birds and animals don’t have sarcasm, snarkiness or humor to deal with. 

We on the other hand fumble greatly at responses and questions from our fellow man.  The proper response if your wife asks you, “Does this dress make me look fat?” is to answer with another question like, “Do you think I’m an idiot?”  If at your wedding when you say “I do,” and your lovely bride says “Oh no you don’t.” It’s probably going to be a rough ride.

Another good response is no response.  If your child asks you for money, “No” is the best response.  This response only works with your wife if you are in jail. 

Most politicians and preachers have confused communicating with convoluting.  I also believe most of the companies in the communication business are not communicating, they are only promoting or selling.

There are people who love the sound of their voice, but don’t hear a word they are saying.

I believe that sometimes a smile communicates better than opening your mouth.

The bottom line here is, if someone calls you a bird brain….take it as a compliment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

An Artsy Week-End

 

We had a great Art Show in our home town this past weekend with some fabulous art work. All kinds of paintings, acrylic, oils, water colors and sketches plus photography. Did I take a picture? No not one, but I have them all locked up here in my tiny little brain. I’m not a dumb person but sometimes I do dumb things….like not taking a single picture of great art works.  Actually, I did take one picture.  This is my sweetie and with her blue-ribbon winner.  This fabulous piece of art work is all fabric. It's about Ukraine called, Facing Oblivion. The background represents the devastation in that country. The sunflower is their national flower which continues it's tenuous bloom.

Nobody has ever called me a genius, but they have also never called me a nincompoop either. Although I really like the word nincompoop and try to use it as much as possible.  Since I live in deep East Texas, I get to use it quite a bit.

I have been slogging away at my new novel, so the blog has not been front and center for the last week or so.  I think since the novel is a serious piece, the goofy silly stuff that usually makes up the blog has taken some time off.  I woke up the other night and was worried that I would never think of anything funny again, but then I realized that was funny, so I went back to sleep…til noon. 

Back when I was a heavy drinker, I could drink a fifth of Johnny Walker Black in about two hours, and everything I said was hilarious.  You would think that since I pass through the day sober, remembering everything I do, I would have more silly dumb things to say.

Back in my radio daze, I was known as “Ole Weird Rod”,

You can listen here at your own risk. 

https://youtu.be/UUZWdzcdZpE

 

Now that I live out in the country, I’m known as “Ole Retired Rod”, heavy on the “tired” part.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

April 1, 2022

 

Today is April Fools Day.  Of course, any fool knows that.  Well, there is Ted (I Haven’t Got a Clue) Cruz. He probably thinks it’s his birthday.  

Come to think of it, there are hundreds of thousands of people that it is their birthday. I wonder if they have doubts about the sincerity of the people singing happy birthday to them or if they worry if the birthday cake is loaded with exploding candles?  Just a thought.

My best April Fool prank when I was in school was to give my teachers a note that said, “I’m studying for the priesthood and have taken a vow of silence. Please don’t ask me any questions.” They would always ask, “Is this true?” and I would immediately answer, “Absolutely.” 

The Trump White House staff has released a statement explaining the over 7 hours gap in the telephone logs on January 6^th.  They said they had signed up for AT&T’s insurrection plan. 

I’m really sick and tired of all the press and comments on Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.  By the way it’s been five days since Will has slapped anyone. 

Ginni and Clarence Thomas are the next Bonnie and Clyde.  Or they could be Mr. and Mrs. Benedict Arnold of the 21^st century?  Maybe they’re just two sorry individuals who were looking for love hate and found each other?

A proposed bill before the Tennessee state legislature would eliminate age requirements for marriage.  I mean who’s to say that a ten-year-old kid can’t fall in love. I understand that Pedophile Anonymous is backing the bill.

 The Rolling Stones are preparing for their 60^th world tour. As the old saying goes, “A rolling stone gathers no moss, but they do collect a ton of money.”

Stay tuned for further adventures.

 

Some Of This, More Of That

 Some times I say funny things and sometimes funny things just pass thru my brain.  Sometimes I just feel funny. It's funny how that happens. I was always the class clown in high school which was ok except I hated wearing those stupid giant shoes and that red rubber nose. 

Will Smith evidently delivered the Bitch-Slap heard around the world at the Oscars Sunday night.  Fortunately, according to the ratings, nobody saw it.  

 

Just saw an ad for Speed Dating.  I can remember when fast girls had a bad reputation.

 

The local radio station is promoting a Monster Truck Show.  Hey, I saw that Transformer movie, I’m not going near that place.

 

The Final Four is set. North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, and Villanova.  I don’t know one thing about any of them, but since I was born in Wichita, Kansas I feel obliged to pull for Villanova.

 

I understand Chris (My Daddy Was a 60 Minute Man) Wallace said the straw that broke the camel’s back for him to leave Fox Faux News was when they started paying him in rubles. Personally, I believe he overstayed his nineteen years at Fox by eighteen years, eleven months, and twenty-nine days.

 

 

 

 Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

I May Not Know Everything, But...

 

I know the first person ever addicted to March Madness was John Philip Sousa.

I know you went to a rough high school if all the pictures in your yearbook are mug shots.

I know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.  I’m talking about doing the laundry.

I know when a politician or a preacher opens their mouth, it’s time to close your mind.

I know when I hear “A stitch in time saves nine” I don’t have a clue to what it means.

I know if I join a health club it will be the only time, I ever visit it.

I know better, but do it anyway.

I know that the moon is not made of cheese, but Mars is a candy bar.

I know that Einstein’s theory of relativity is not about your family tree.

I know the expression “a penny saved is a penny earned” isn’t worth 2 cents.

I know that Baseball is not America’s pastime, that Facebook is.

I know that “early to bed, early to rise” is not going to happen.

I know that cats are smarter than dogs, but dogs don’t know it.

I know that little things can make a big difference.

I know just enough to screw it up.

I know there is not a Permanent Record.

I know that you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.  I know that sounds familiar.

I know one thing can lead to another…..or not.

I know that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him take a bath.

I know 2 plus 2 equals 4, but I don’t know what 1,234,543,982 times 67,345 is.

I know that a leopard has never thought about changing his spots.

I know that the bigger they are, the harder they are to knock over.

I know if the shoe fits, it’s the right size.

I know when to shut up.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

Breaking News

 

The GOP (Gang of Perpetrators, Group of Pinheads, Gaggle of Pricks) take your pick they all work, Senators who are grilling Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson have a number of reasons why they are against her.

1.She is black

2.She is black

3.She is black

4.She is black

5.Oh yeah, she is really qualified and experienced.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

The Blank Page

 

I have been staring at the blank page for a couple of days now.  I don’t know why writing can be so hard sometimes. If I’m working on my novel, I’m just making stuff up and if I’m working on this little blog, I’m poking fun at what some dumb politician or bonehead preacher said. I read constantly and I am in awe of writers who seem to pound out books on a consistent basis. 

Thank God I don’t write for a living, but just for the fun of it and right now I’m not having very much fun because I haven’t written a word on either of them in days.  I thought maybe if I wrote whined about this, it would get my brain off the picket line and back to the computer.  Then again, it could be I just need to take another nap.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures