More Bubbles From My Soapbox

 

They say everything is bigger in Texas. Here are some of the biggest boneheads on the planet:

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott said today that there is no guarantee that the electrical grid won’t go down again.  So far about 70,000 Texans are sitting with no lights proving him right.  As the temperatures go down, I’m pretty sure this number will go up. Sure would like to see him put out in the cold next election.

Texas Lt. Governor Goober Dan (Pig-Face) Patrick doesn’t have to worry about freezing his balls off because he doesn’t have any.

Texas Senator Ted (I Haven’t Got A Clue) Cruz must have thought he was being clever today when he twitted a rant saying “inflation is out of control” and listed gas, food and lumber prices and then said, “and tickets to Cancun are up 32%.” This dipshit is about as funny as a train wreck.

A parent in the school district of Katy, Texas wants them to remove Michelle Obama’s book from the school library because she says it promotes “reverse racism.”  The only thing backward here is that bonehead.

 

 

And Now For Something Completely Different

 

The Whooping Crane festival is coming up in Port Aransas, Texas in March. Remember if you’ve seen 800 whooping cranes, you’ve seen them all.

I understand there is a new modern fairy tale being released based on Trump followers.  It will be called Guillible’s Travels.

Did you know there is a second Goldilocks fairy tale?  It is Goldilocks and The Three Pigs. I understand it is about the origin of “Pigs in a Blanket”

According to the Chinese New Year, the Cincinnati Bengals will win the Super Bowl.

We just had another Groundhog Day which I don’t give much attention to.  I prefer Boss Hog Day which says there will be six more weeks of harassing the Dukes of Hazzard and Daisy.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

Small Talk From Small Minds

 

Conversations overheard at the Trump Cult meeting in Conroe, Texas this past weekend:

 Woman: Hey Fred, how are you?

Fred: Great, just got a letter from the electric company saying it was my final notice.

Woman: Really?

Fred; Yep, I’m a happy camper.  I’m sick of having to pay that sucker every month.

 

Man: Did you have trouble parking?

Man: Not at all, Bill and I rode my donkey here so we wouldn’t have to park a car.

Man: Hope you can find it when this is over. Quite a few people rode donkeys today.

Man: Shouldn’t be a problem. Ours is different. When we came in, I heard someone say “look at those two assholes on that donkey.”

 

Woman: Do you think he is going to ask us to march up to the capitol?

Woman: God I hope not, these heels are not made for walking that far.

 

Man:  Have you seen many people you know?

Man: A few I go to KKK meetings with.

Man: You think he will go with Pence again to be his running mate?

Man: Naw, I heard he was going to pick JFK…..or his son.

 

Woman: Did you go to D.C. on the 6^th?

Man: No, I wanted to, but it violated the conditions of my parole.

 

 

Woman: I heard they were thinking about removing some books from the school library.

Woman: Oh I hope they take out those terrible Harry Potter books.

Woman: What was so terrible about them?

Woman: I don’t know. I didn’t read em. I don’t read books.

 

Man:  Do you think the whole family is going to be here.

Man: I don’t know. Those two boys are dipshits, but that Ivanka is a looker.

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Here's One For The Books

 

Let me introduce you to the bonehead here in Texas that is pushing to ban books in school.  He is Matt (Fahrenheit 451) Krause. He is a Republican State Representative who is also a candidate for Attorney General of Texas. Matt is one of the most conservative members of the Texas Legislature. In 2017, he proposed legislation to end no-fault divorce and to require couples to live separately for three years before obtaining a divorce. In 2019, after a measles outbreak, he introduced a bill to make it easier for parents to opt-out their children from school vaccination requirements.

 Matt has come up with a list of 850 books which he thinks should be banned.  After looking through his list, it is apparent that Matt is a misogynistic, homophobic, racist asshole and after looking at his FB page, I believe he is a religious wacko about two steps from snake handling and speaking in tongues.  Of course, speaking in tongues is really no big deal. Drink enough Tequila and anyone can do it.

I understand when little Matt was in the fourth grade, he flunked reading and is still pissed about it, also later in high school he was voted mostly likely to do something stupid.

The runner up for “Book Bonehead” is Stephen (Bigoted) Balch.  Mr. Balch has been appointed to the State Board of Education to review Texas social studies standards.  He is a conspiracy wingnut who has described President Biden’s victory as a “literal coup”. He advocated for Trump to “lead his followers into America’s streets and squares.” He wrote a letter urging officials to disregard the 2015 U.S. Supreme Court ruling against bans on same-sex marriage as an example of another “attack on our constitutional system of government.”

 

I want to also give a nod to Texas State Representative James Talarico for calling attention to how wrong it would be to appoint Mr. Balch to the State Education Board. 

I am a writer, so I realize I am very biased on this subject, but feel free to share this post with friends who like to read.  Maybe some enterprising entrepreneur out there will start up the “Banned Book of The Month Club.”

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

Thoughts From A Warped Mind

 

Is the term “Bat Shit Crazy” a reference to Batman’s mental health?

 

Elmer Rhodes, the founder and head buffoon of the Oaf Keepers will continue getting three meals a day from the state.  The judge said this week that he liked the Keeper’s part and decided to keep Elmer in jail until his trial July 11^th. Of course, it didn’t help that Elmer’s wife showed the judge pictures of the escape tunnels Elmer had dug in their backyard and told of his history of domestic violence.

Sarah (Part-time Governor, Full-time Moron) Palin is back in the news and not for good reasons.  She was caught dining inside a posh New York restaurant even though she is not vaccinated against the virus.  She is in town dealing with a defamation suit she filed against the New York Times in 2017.  I remember being shocked when she first filed the suit.  I had no idea she could spell defamation.  At an anti-vaccine meeting in Arizona last month, Sara said, “It’ll be over my dead body that I’ll have to get a shot”.  Odd, I don’t think they give you shots after you are dead.

Former President and Wanna-Be-King, Donald Jerk Trump is coming to Conroe, Texas for a cult meeting.  There will be a private reception where cult members can fork over five grand to attend.  Also, they can get their picture made with their leader and participate in a round-table discussion for only $50, 000.  I’ve been to Conroe; I don’t know that there is 50k in the whole town.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrrarump Day

 

Former First Lady Melanoma is reported M.I.A at Mar-a-Lago lately.  I’m pretty sure with Trumpypoo’s legal problems, she is holed up in her suite studying her prenup. There is a new documentary coming out that says she lied about her college education.  Evidently, she claimed to have one.

 

The GOP has dug up a Republican candidate to run against Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott.  They said they didn’t think Gregg stood up for the Republican Party. They went on to say that he didn’t seem to stand up for anything….including the National Anthem.  Wow, those Republicans don’t miss a thing.  Just a reminder where the GOP finds their candidates.  

When Abbott was asked why he sent the National Guard to the border even though they can’t arrest or detain anyone, he said because the Proud Boys weren’t available.  

 

I just saw where sleezy Sean (All Mouth, No Integrity) Hannity challenged President Biden to a push-up contest. Wow, I had no idea Sean wore that type of bra.

 

I find it amazing how the Republicans are so upset over President Biden telling the truth about Faux News lacky, Peter Duchebag, but have no problem with all the name calling and vulgarity Trumpypoo spewed for four years.

Tom Brady’s appearance at this year’s Super Bowl will be in Section 10, seat 12.

If West Virginians continue to vote for Senator Joe (Show Me The Money) Manchin, I think they should change the name of their state to Worst Virginia. 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some Of This and Some Of That

I had a phone call from Mike Wade, one of the most talented radio guys I ever had the privilege to work with. Mike is the voice of the excellent podcast, https://mikeonmic.com which deserves a listen. Mike reminded me that when we were both working Top 40 radio, we threw in an Oldie every so often.  He suggested that I revisit an older blog post occasionally, if it had another perspective of the post I was writing at the time.  After thinking about it for about 10 seconds, I realized that was a great idea. So, when I do that ever so often, I will call it a Second Look.

Today I have been thinking about all the celebrities and well-known people we have lost so far this year.  Betty White, Sydney Poitier, Bob Saget, Louie Anderson, and Meat Loaf to name a few.  People that we have loved and admired, and even though we probably didn’t know them personally, we are upset and grieve that they are no longer with us. That reminded me of another post I wrote many years ago about a well-known figure who had died that we didn’t morn.  In fact, the world was a better place now that he wasn’t breathing air anymore.  Here is a Second Look from Dec. 21, 2011.

ANOTHER DEAD DICTATOR

Evidently Kim Jong really was il.   Another in the long line of Kim Jongs is set to take over North Korea.  Kim Jong Il who succeeded Kim Jong Sick and of course before him were Kim Jong Pneumonia, Kim Jong Not Feeling Very Well, Kim Jong Just a Cold, Kim Jong Pretty Run Down and Kim Jong Runny Nose.  The schizophrenic in the family was Kim Jong I’m ok... no I’m not.

North Korea’s most inept ruler was Kim Jong Dubya.  The most flamboyant dresser was Kim Jong Gaddafi and the one most-full-of himself was Kim Jong Newt.  The one with the worst hairdo was Kim Jong The Don and the only one who loved Jesus was Kim Jong Tebow.

Kim Jong un will be the new dictator of North Korea.  I’m not sure what the un stands for but more than likely it’s either unconscious, unbalanced or unbearable.  The upside of this is that the successor wasn’t the daughter Kim Jong Palin.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Radio: The theater of the mind

 

Today is National Radio Day so I thought I would share this article I wrote about radio in 2010. It seems appropriate for today also.  

I just came across a Facebook page called "I WAS A DJ WHEN DJS JOCKED DISCS...AND I DON'T MEAN CD's". It brought back a lot of radio memories for me. For many years of my life, radio was a huge part of it and now it is almost non-existent. I find that sad in many ways. I know nothing stays the same and that's okay, what a boring world it would be if it did, but radio changed for all the wrong reasons. For me radio was fun, exciting and truly entertaining and now it is boring, redundant and mostly irritating.

 

I am old enough that I can remember before we had a TV in our home and we would listen to the radio. I listened to Red Skelton, Amos and Andy and lots of other radio shows. Then about the time I started junior high school I started listening to music radio. I grew up listening to KLIF in Dallas and KFJZ in Fort Worth during the day and stations like KOMA in Oklahoma City, WNOE in New Orleans and WLAC in Nashville at night. WLAC is where I discovered black music and fell in love.

 

KOMA,WNOE, KLIF, KFJZ and KXOL were great top 40 stations and had some of the best jocks in the world. Randy Robbins, Mark Stevens, Paxton Mills, Rex Miller, Dave Ambrose, Jimmy Rabbit, Frank Jolly, C.C. Courtney, and Charlie Van Dyke to mention a few. Always high energy, lots of reverb and always entertaining. It was fun radio.

 

I was fortunate enough to work in markets that were very competitive which forced us to be more creative on the air. I worked at KXOL where we were in a tough battle with KFJZ. In San Antonio at KONO, where we went head to head with KTSA. While I was in Denver at KTLK we battled KIMN. Finally at KRLY in Houston, I was up against KILT and KRBE. The fun part is that everybody knew everybody and we had fun together. We respected our competition and yet did everything we could do to beat them. This resulted in radio that was truly entertaining, and the real winner was the listener.

 

Radio stations use to be owned by people who loved radio and only had a few stations each. Now they are owned by huge corporations and run by people (mostly lawyers and accountants) who don't have a clue to what radio is about. There is no competition and no creativity, just sister stations because most of the radio stations today are owned by four companies.

 

I don't spend time grumbling about today's radio, as I said before everything changes. I am just grateful I got to work in radio with some great talent such as Tim Kelly, Steve Sellers, John Steel, Bob Moody, Harry Scarbough, Cris Cooper, B. Bailey Brown, Chuck Joseph, Mike Wade, Ron Foster, Ron Seldon, Johnny Shannon, Paul Kirby, Phil Gardner and C.C. McCartney just to name a few. It was fun and exciting for the people listening and for the folks who were on the air.

Stay tuned for future adventures.