The Famous and Not So Famous

It just dawned on me the other day that we haven’t heard of an Elvis sighting in years.  I think maybe he’s sick.

Now that Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab they say she is not addicted to drugs and alcohol after all, she’s just a idiot…

Word is that Angelina Jollie just adopted two more kids, a highway and a bad attitude.

 
Billionaire Paul Allen is suing Apple, Google, AOL, eBay, Facebook, Netflix, Office Depot, OfficeMax, Staples, Yahoo and YouTube.  I’ve been pissed off at my computer before but that seems a little excessive.

It seems that not much is real about reality tv star Heidi Montag.   Just ask her plastic surgeon. He performed 10 procedures on her in one day.  That gives a whole new meaning to Slicing and Dicing.

There must be some truth to the rumor about the health North Korea’s dictator Kim Jong-il.  He is now being referred to as Kim Jong-sick.

After spending 45 days in jail after a 2007 an alcohol related offense, she said the experience caused her to re-evaluate the role partying played in her life.  Paris Hilton got busted for possession of cocaine this week.  It’s good to see someone find their role in life and go after it.

I'm not sure if Glen Beck can read or write but it obvious that he can't count.

Today's good read is The Lost Wife's Tale by Marion McGilvary.  My wife recommended this book to me and I have to say that I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.  If you only read it for the writing, it would worth reading.  However, it is a great love story told by a compelling main character.

It's All About Houston

• I was wondering one day just who would fly Stuebner Airline?  Then I realized Kirkwood.

•  When is NASCAR going to come to Buffalo Speedway?

•  I feel sorry for the sport fans around here.  The last time Houston came out on the winning side of anything was the Battle of San Jacinto.

• Did you know that Alexander Graham Bell grew up in Houston.?  I believe he lived on Telephone Road.

•  When studying Houston Politics, do you take a Long Point or Westview?

• Somebody said the strongest road in Houston, was the Hardy Toll Road.

• The next time a Comcast salesman calls you at home during supper, tell him you will sign up for cable if they carry the Houston Ship Channel.

• The people involved in the Sharpstown Scandal were dull.

• At the Texas Children’s Hospital, do all the doctors look like Doogie Howser?

Moonlight Special

The night of the two moons is coming up this Friday night.  They claim it is a once in a life time event. I guess it is if you have a really short memory because according to the internet, this is the third time it has happened in the last seven years. Do I smell hoax in the air?

Speaking of the moon, we made nine trips to the moon in four years. Six times we landed on the moon and three times we couldn’t find a parking space, so we just drove around it and came home.  The last time we went to the moon was 1972. That was 38 years ago. Surely a parking space has opened up by now.

Think of the technology and the incredible precision timing it took to pull off a moon landing.  I mean what if they had gotten there and it was a half or quarter-moon.  We could have missed it completely.

But we will always have moonlight, moonbeams, moonshine, moon pies, moon river, blue moon, harvest moon, new moon, half-moon, quarter-moons. Don’t forget the man in the moon, by the light of the silvery moon, paper moon, moon dance, moon walk, moon shot, moonstone, moon shadow, moonlight serenade, Moon over Miami,  Moonraker, Moonstruck, and quit mooning me out the school bus window.
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When was the last time you were hit up at the airport by moonies?  They must be in a really long eclipse. If Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon, why does Michael Jackson get credit for the Moon Walk?


Today's good read is The Siege by Stephen White.  A small town cop gets caught up in a hostage situation where the hostage taker is playing by no known rules.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politics Make For Strange BedWetters

I'll admit I don't care much for politics but I absolutely can't stand politicians.  It seems to me the elected officials in our country can't quit running for office long enough to run the country.

Most politicians can carry on a three-way conversation.  They can talk out of both sides of their mouth and their ass at the same time.  Many politicians I have come across are just Snake Oil Salesmen without the oil or the salesmen.

A famous Republican politician was asked recently if he was familiar with Lincoln's Gettysburg address and he replied that he was unaware that Mr. Lincoln had ever resided in Gettysburg.

A well known Democrat was asked if he felt FDR's New Deal policy was good for the country.  He said he couldn't comment on classified material but was confident that the FDR, FBI and CIA were all working together to keep our country safe.

There are a little over 300 million folks in the United States and all the laws that govern us are made by 541 people (Congress).  Doesn't that ratio seem a little out of whack.  Of course we have 34,750 good, trustworthy, honest registered lobbyist to help them out by actually writing the laws so that the congressmen can do their real job.  Running for re-election.

Did you know that our Government has a money back guarantee?  It's in the fine print of the Constitution. It states that the Government guarantees that anytime they are tired of our money, they will send it back.
Stay tuned for future adventures.

Internet or Internut?

Ya'll know that I'm not quite up to speed with all of this new technology but I am pretty sure the reason our computers have gone from floppy disc to hard drive is because of all the porn.

When I really think about the internet I don't know if it is really new stuff or just the same old stuff repackaged.  Amazon is the 21st Century version of the Sears & Roebuck mail order catalog.  Ebay is simply the world's largest garage sale and now we don't have to wait to go over to our Aunt's house to be bored silly with home movies, we have You Tube.

URL, HTML, and RSS are much more secretive, mysterious and powerful than the F.B.I. and C.I.A ever thought about.  eBay, eTrades, eTravel, emusic, etc....I'm leaning toward Enough.  I know for a fact that I am through with Enron and Exxon.

You can usually tell if someone is not really savvy with the social media stuff if they keep referring to their My SpaceBook page.  I can remember when a twit was someone you DIDN'T want to have conversation with.


The very first internet message was sent on Friday, October 29th, of 1969.  For the life of me I can't imagine what it said since it wasn't until March of 1998 when the FDA approved Viagra.



For today's Good read, I am recommending 13 1/2 by Nevada Barr.  Nevada leaves her Anna Pigeon series for this stand alone psychological thriller that will keep you up until the exciting finish.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wide World of Sports

As reported in the New York Times, doctors now believe that Lou Gehrig may not have had Lou Gehrig disease after all, but actually had Bobby Pippen disease, a little known minor league ballplayer who once said he was the unluckiest man on the face of the earth.

Brete Favre announced he is going to play another year for the Minnesota Vikings but unfortunately it was overshadowed by the return of Mickey Mantle to the New York Yankees and the release of the tour dates this year for Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly and Bill Haley and His Comets.

Roger Clemens just got indicted for lying to Congress.  A hearing by the way that only took place because he insisted on having it.  Pretty obvious that "The Rocket" is certainly no rocket scientist.

Here is a real sport for you.  Dr. Laura is quitting her radio show.  This is a quote from the Larry King Show. "I want to be able to say what's on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry".  Yeah, good luck with that.  Maybe the good Dr. should try opening her mind instead of her mouth.

 Rod Blogojevich, the former Governor of Illinois was found Not Guilty on 23 of the counts charged against him, but was found GUILTY of having a really BAD hair day, everyday of his life.

They announced at the SETI Convention in Mountain View Ca, this week that we should make contact with aliens by the year 2025.  The message they are sending out is "Greetings from Earth.  When visiting, we advise you to avoid Arizona at this time."

Today's good read is They're Watching by Gregg Hurwitz.  This is a real page turner about a screenwriter who's movie becomes all to real.      Stay tuned for future adventures

More Stuff I'm Not Sure About

I was wondering how many more years we are going to have endure the woman telling us how to leave a message on voice mail?  I'm pretty sure I have it down.

I just read about a man who was suing his doctor over penis enlargement surgery.  He said his penis was enlarged for a while and then it shrunk back.  Am  I missing something here?  That's the way they work.

I keep reading where a lot of people in this country think we are going in the wrong direction.  I know a lot of people who don't know which way is up.  Seems to me like there are three choices.  We can keep going forward.  We can turn around and go back in the direction we came.  Or we can sit on our asses and do nothing.  I think maybe a lot of people now days wouldn't have made good pioneers.



Mark Hurd, CEO of HP is the latest in a long line of CEO's who have had to resign lately because they screwed up.  BADLY.  Like the others, he will drive away with a truck load of money in severance pay.  Where do I get one of these jobs?  I can screw up with the best of them.


On a positive note. Since I started listening to Pandora radio I've been keeping track and so far I have won 32,000 free business cards from Vista Printing.  Last week I got a letter from Publishers Sweepstakes and I may have already won a million dollars.  Not only that but today I got an email from Nigeria and I can make $200,000 dollars just by helping a guy move his money to the USA.  It wouldn't surprise me if I haven't won a couple of million in the UK lottery.

A good read I want to recommend is Give + Take by Stona Fitch.  A very interesting story with great characters told with a modern day Robin Hood twist.  I think you will like it.




Stay tuned for future adventures.