There Is Dumb and there is Dumber

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Creepy & Sleazy) Cruz had a John (Civil War Veteran) McCain moment this week.  He named Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina as his running mate. Snarly doesn’t quite come down to Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin level of ignorance, but she makes up for it by being a total asshole. I’m not sure why little Rafael thinks he is going to win the nomination, but I would say his odds of getting it are about the same as the sun rising in the west in the morning.

Cruz’s Stepford wife Heidi-Doody who is obliviously not dealing with a full deck (after all she is married to this dufus),  jumped into the stupidity game also this week by making this comment, “We are at a cultural crossroads in our country, and if we can be in this race to show this country the face of the God that we serve — this Christian God that we serve is the foundation of our country, our country was built on Judeo-Christian values, we are a nation of freedom of religion, but the God of Christianity is the God of freedom, of individual liberty, of choice and of consequence,”  Evidently Heidi’s home schooling didn’t include history books.

Here is what the founding fathers say about being a Christian Nation.

"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."
--John Adams

“Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.”
James Madison

“History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.”
Thomas Jefferson

“Congress has no power to make any religious establishments.”
Roger Sherman, Congress, August 19, 1789

“The legislature of the United States shall pass no law on the subject of religion.”
Charles Pinckney, Constitutional Convention, 1787

“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.”
Thomas Paine

“I wish it (Christianity) were more productive of good works … I mean real good works … not holy-day keeping, sermon-hearing … or making long prayers, filled with flatteries and compliments despised by wise men, and much less capable of pleasing the Deity.”
Benjamin Franklin —

And of course the patron saint of the GOP and Creepy Cruz’s hero.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day Humps

Republican candidate for the Texas state school board of education Mary Lou (Home Schooled Moron) Bruner posted this incredibly stupid comment on Facebook this week.  “The federal government wants to indoctrinate the little children, teaching them a homosexual marriage is just as good as a marriage with a father and a mother. The federal government wants to push its socialistic and multicultural agenda onto these impressionable little children who believe anything they are told.”  Of course Vacation Bible School filling impressionable little children with bullshit is a totally different deal.

Anita (I Need A Gun To Go To The Bathroom) Staver who is President of a hate group called Liberty Counsel was upset this week at Target’s restroom policy.  Asshole Anita tweeted that she would be carrying her Glock with her when goes to the ladies room.  Hopefully when she squats, her gun will go off and shoot her in the______. 

The Cleveland Police Patrolman Association couldn’t bring themselves to offer any kind of apology after the six million dollar settlement was announced in the shooting death of Tamir Rice.  I mean after all the police are good guys and never do any thing wrong.  Yeah right, I remember when everybody thought Catholic Priest were good guys too. 

Simpsonville, SC, which I am pretty sure was named after Homer Simpson, Police Chief  Keith (My I.Q. And Gun Are Both 45’s)Grounsell was suspended for 30 days without pay over racial comments he made on Facebook.  KKKeith said he thought only his friends could read what he said on Facebook..  As if his  friends can read.  





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Morning Soapbox

60 people wrote to the Judge who is going to sentence Dennis (I Should Have Been A Priest) Hastert to prison to ask him not to be harsh with the sentence because little Denny is such a nice person.  After the judge said he would not read any of them if they refused to let the public see them, 20 of them slipped back into the child molester fan club closet.

A number of former Conressmorons including former House LoudMouth “Hot Tub” Tom (Ignore Me Without) DeLay wrote that Denny Pooh was a man of strong faith.  Yeah, I pretty sure he was positive that he would never get caught. I understand the family writing, but anybody else writing is a total asshole.

Another example of why Oklahoma’s motto is Oklahoma Is Oakie Dopey.  State Rep. David ( Double Dumb ) Brumbaugh said that even though Oklahoma was facing a 1.6 billion dollar deficit that the fine folks up there shouldn’t worry about it because “If we take care of the morality, God will take care of the economy.” Wow, God is picking up the tab for Oklahoma’s incredibly stupid Republican policies.  I guess he will just dig up a couple blocks of those streets of gold and send them down to cover the deal.

It appears to me that The Republican Party is headed toward a brokered broken convention in Cleveland.  I am pretty sure it is going to be held here.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Another Bummer

Stay tuned for future adventures. 

I'm Just Sayin'

Hey there is some good news.  Remember Ethan (Spoiled Rotten Rich Kid) Couch, better known as the “Affluenza Kid."   He was the teenager who killed four people in a drunken driving incident a few years ago and only received probation because his lawyer claimed he was too rich to do the time. Well I believe there are some rear-end collisions of a different kind in his future as he is finally going to prison.  

Little Irresponsible Ethan got caught partying and doing drugs which violated his probation so Mommy dearest who has a ton of money and very few brain cells decided to whisk him out of the country to hide out.  You would have thought someone being rich could have afforded a plane ticket that went farther than Mexico, but alas no and it took the authorities about a minute and half to bring him back to Texas.

Mommy is also doing jail time and now if they would lock up the dipshit Judge who gave him probation in the first place, this story would have a really happy ending.  Personally I think they should have thrown another couple years at him just for the stupid hair-do.

More good news.  Massachusetts Republican Governor Charlie (Duh) Baker was at a corporate networking event when he was asked if he would support a bill that would provide anti-discrimination protection to LGBT people. Good Ole Charlie being a member of The Bigot Tent Party sidestepped the answer and was booed off the stage.  

In a rare moment of clarity, Tennessee Governor Republican Bill (I’m Not Always A Moron) Haslam vetoed the bill making The Bible the official book of Tennessee.  Billy boy said he was leaning toward “The Life and Times of Davy Crockett.”

 

This will be the result if a few more so called Religious Freedom laws are passed.

Tuition for the Electoral College is almost a half-billion dollars and they don’t even have a football team. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Bubbles From My Soapbox

I think if you have to get a loan to buy a candy bar, you may have bigger problems than a sweet tooth.

Here are a few Republican bumper stickers that crossed my mind over the week-end.  Feel free to use them.

          GOP
The BIGot TENT PARTY.

Vote Republican and take America back….150 years.

Republican Party seriously damaged by misgided Cruz missile. 

Texas Attorney General Criminal Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was hit with a Federal civil suit from the SEC yesterday charging him with three counts of felony fraud.  This of course is on top of his state criminal charges on the same topic.  I guess little Kenny really is a triple threat guy after all. I don’t pray, but if I did I would be down on my knees hoping his buddy Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott would be his cell mate.

Not to be out done in the sleaze department, Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid (It’s Never) Miller time was caught taking a trip to Mississippi to be in a rodeo and paying for it with taxpayer money.  He pulled the same stunt a few weeks ago on a trip to Oklahoma.  Sid is also known for giving relatives and close friends high paying jobs on his staff. I’m pretty sure J.R. Ewing was Sid’s role model.  



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Stupidity Is In The Air

I just read an article that stated Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump Rump’s supporters are very diverse.  The article said that they are not all poor un-educated white folk, but some are quite rich and educated.  What the article didn’t mention was that all of Rump’s supporters do have a commonality about them.  Every one of them, rich or poor, educated or not, are racist, misogynistic assholes.   

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert once again opened his mouth so he could insert his foot, which by the way is quite amazing seeing as how his head is always up his ass, to utter these few words on the latest transgender bill passed in North Carolina.  “In the seventh grade if the law had been that all I had to do was say, ‘I’m a girl,’ and I got to go into the girls’ restroom, I don’t know if I could’ve withstood the temptation just to get educated back in those days,” he said. I am shocked at this.  I had no idea Louie got as far as the seventh grade. When Louie was asked about what he thought about the Panama Papers, he replied that he had never smoked marijuana and wouldn’t know anything about the paraphernalia that went with that activity.  

Just to prove that Texas doesn’t have a complete lock on stupidly, Wisconsin Republican Congressmoron Glen (I’m Just As Stupid As Louie)  Grothman said he was surprised that there was controversy about the voter suppression law that he helped pass after he stated that it would help Republicans to get elected. Ole Glen went on to say that he was also surprised to find out the earth was not flat and that Santa Claus wasn’t real. . 

Evidently the stupidity bug has also spread into Ohio.  Last week Alphonso D (The D Stands For Dumb) Mobley Jr. a member of the “Sovereign Citzens” group blew his hands off while making a bomb and The Oath Oaf Keepers, a paranoid paramilitary group of boneheads who say they are "Christians Patriots for America", you know kinda like those fine folks who participated in The Crusades, has opened up a survival store in a mall in Bowling Green, Ohio. My hopes are that it won’t survive very long.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Bummer

I think this says it all.
Stay tuned for future adventures.