If you
look up the word “boring” in the dictionary you will find a video of the VP
debate from Tuesday night. I like Tim (A
Really Nice Guy) Kane, but I think he would have been better off not interrupting
Mike (Homophobic Asshole) Pence and simply making one of two responses each
time after Mike’s two minutes of hot air.
- Well that was a fucking lie.
- Wow, what a load of bullshit that was.
Once
again my number one investigator Snoop Dawg Dole has come up with things to
make you smile.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your
house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social
situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 65 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried
about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do
they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses?
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses?
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
Stay tuned for future adventures.
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