Just Another Day in Paradox

Today is National Pig in a Blanket Day around the country.  Here in Texas we have a pig in the State Capitol but he sure as hell isn’t anything to celebrate.

Speaking of Texas Lt. Governor Dan (I Used To Be A Sports Nut And Then A Religious Nut, But Now I’m Just A WingNut) Patrick told folks this week that he was tired of Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott and Speaker of the House Joe (I Don’t Have A Clue) Straus picking on him.  Little Danny said he was thinking about taking his ball and going home except that he didn’t have a ball, so he might just hold his breathe until he turned blue.  

Faux News in house psychopathic nut-job psychiatrist Dr. Keith (I’m Not Really a Doctor, I Just Play One On TV) Ablowhard says that if  Obama were more like the patron saint of the Republican Party, Ronald (I Was A Bad Actor and Worse President) Reagan, that Americans wouldn’t be joining ISIS.  Oh, more like this guy.

According to the latest statistics, about 150 Americans have traveled to Syria to join ISIS, which means approximately 359,999.850 million people have not traveled to Syria to join ISIS.

 Kansas is finding out the hard way what happens when you have a TeaNut Republican in the driver’s seat.  You will end up driven straight into bankruptcy. Governor Sam (I Have A Trickle Down I.Q.) Brownback’s radical economic experiment is a monumental failure. So far six school districts are closing early because of no money and the state’s budget is facing a $600 million dollar short fall. I think Dan's economic adviser was Bernie Madoff.

Lousiana TaNut Republican Governor Bobby (Jihad) Jindal told the New York Times that he is really, really, really, really against same sex marriage. Have you ever noticed that the homophobes who shout the loudest are usually the ones deepest in the closet?

Former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry said he has been hitting the books.  Ole Oops said that if he decides to throw his Stetson into the ring that this time he will be prepared.  He explained that he didn’t realize that if you run for President you had to know things. I see his point. After all, this bonehead was Governor for 14 years and didn’t know diddly squat about anything. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.