Friday Fun Facts

Oh the irony. A detailed report that was commissioned by the Republican Party has just been released and it shows that women voters have a low opinion of the Republican Party. The report shows that women voters view the Republican Party “as intolerant, lacking in compassion and stuck in the past.”   Here is the really good part.  They paid for this report. Hell, I could have told them the same thing for free.

Texas Attorney General Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott has lost anther case. A judge has ruled that Texas public school funding is unconstitutional.  Poor little Greggy is so upset that he canceled his one and only debate with Democratic nominee for Governor Wendy (I May Not Be The First Lady Governor of Texas, but I’m Going to be the Best) Davis.  No big surprise. I understand Greggy Poo’s debate skills are right up there with little Ricky’s.  In other words, he probably couldn’t win an argument with a display manikin.

Have a Happy Labor Day Weekend.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Television: The Vast Wasteland

We have dish TV and I think we get 9000 channels or something like that and there is nothing worth watching.  I watched Storage Wars for three weeks and not a shot was fired.  I watched The Great Food Truck Race and they didn’t have a single wreck.  On Cutthroat Kitchen, there was not a drop of blood spilled.  I don’t think anyone even ended up with a paper cut.

What’s up with Big Brother?  None of these people are related. I don’t even think they are kissing cousins.  I will admit all their I.Q.’s are similar.

If you are going to call your talent show The Voice, then the contestants should only be heard not SEEN.  I do believe America’s Got Talent but unfortunately none of it has ever made it to this show.

Why call it Eyewitness News if none of your reporters actually saw the event?

I watched three episodes of Duck Dynasty and I don’t care how much money these boneheads made from inventing Duct Tape.  The best use of this material would be to put it over their mouths.

On Dance Moms, the mom doesn’t dance.  She just acts like a Dunce. Maybe they should change the name.

The Ghost Hunters have yet to catch a ghost. Good thing they don’t need a ghost to survive.

Satan has yet to make appearance on Hell’s Kitchen.  

Project Runway doesn’t feature any airports.

Why isn’t Star Search filmed in a planetarium?

And of course The Biggest Loser is the audience.

Here is a little tidbit for anyone out there who is thinking of starting a family but feel like they don’t have the money right now.  I just saw Sally (Acting 101) Struthers on TV talking about an orphanage in Haiti where you can feed and clothe a kid for just 50 cents a day. So there you are, have that kid and ship it off Haiti for pennies on the dollar.

Stay tuned for future adventures

Is It Monday Again?

Former coach and pro footballer Mike ( I Have Fourth Down Syndrome) Ditka went on a rant recently about how the Washington football team should never change its name because “Redskins” is actually a word of endearment to Native Americans. He went on to say people refer to the football as the pigskin and you don’t hear the pigs complaining. If this doesn’t prove that concussions suffered while playing football causes brain damage, I don’t know what does. 

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry told a group of business leaders in New Hampshire last week he wasn’t sure what the grand jury indictment was about.  He said, “I’m not a lawyer, so I really don’t understand the details here.”  I’m pretty sure ole Ricky Poo wouldn’t understand the details of how to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Here is the latest in the Governor Competition.

Former Virginia Governor, Republican Robert (I Don’t Have Any Money, But I Have Expensive Taste) McDonnell is on trial for accepting bribes in cash and gifts.

Wisconsin Governor, Republican Scott (Union Buster and All Around Asshole) Walker is under investigation for an illegal coordination scheme between his campaign and third party conservative groups.

Texas Governor, Republican Rick (All Hair and No Brains) Perry has been indicted on two counts of abuse of power.

Florida Governor, Republican Rick (I’m Not a Perry, but I’m Just as Big a Crook) Scott is under investigation involving personal financial interest in a rail project and a natural gas line.

New Jersey Governor, Republican Chris (I’m a Big Fat Bully) Christie is under investigation for the bridge debacle and the closure of the Atlantic City Revel Casino Hotel.

New York Governor, Democrat Andrew (I’ll Cover That Up) Cuomo is under investigation for thwarting a anti-corruption committee that he created.

Looks like the Republicans are leading 5 to 1.

I don’t think all politicians are crooks.  I believe some are just stupid and the others are lazy.

I am stunned.  So far not a single TeaNut Republican has blamed Obama for the latest California earthquake.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Pondering and Musing

It is obvious that Republicans hate poor people.  They think poor people are poor because they are lazy, don’t care about anything and like being poor. They think poor people are a blight on the planet and don’t need any help. That is why the Republicans hate food stamps and any government program that offers assistance to poor people.

What I can’t wrap my brain around is that none of these bonehead Republicans would ever be elected if it wasn’t for poor people voting for them.

 

RickPACK has been set up to raise money for Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry, but it has a typo.  It should be PrickPACK.

Bank of America has agreed to pay a little over 16 billion dollars for breaking federal and state laws leading up to the financial melt down of 2008.  J.P Morgan has already paid 13 billion and Citigroup 7 billion which brings us to a total of 36 billion dollars in fines so far. This brings up two questions, why hasn’t a single person gone to jail and where does all that money go?  I have the feeling it is like the billions of dollars we sent over to Iraq on pallets that ended up disappearing into thin air.   Oh, and do you think the next time a bank robber gets caught they will let him just pay the money back? I don’t think so.

 

Wait, stop the presses, hold the phone and other clichés.  This just in.  There was a registered Democrat on the grand jury that indicted Texas Governor Ricky Poo. Well no wonder he was indicted….but wait a minute, there are twelve people on a jury, so how could one Democrat make a difference. ……Oh, I get it. It was more of that voter fraud the TeaNut Republicans are always yammering about.  It seems he voted 19 times.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Another Slow Monday

Experts are saying that medical problems may have led to Texas Governor Rick (All Hair,No Integrity) Perry’s latest situation.  They say he doesn’t have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), but he does suffer from SFD (Shit For Brains). 

Today is National Bad Poetry Day so here goes.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Rick Perry is a dumbass

And Gregg Abbot is too.

TeaNuts love Jesus but hate everyone else,

They think they are the only ones who will get to the Pearly gates.

But since none of them can spell,

They will all end up in Heavan. (I believe that is in Idaho)

Instead of having political debates, we should have spelling bees.  The TeaNuts would be eliminated in the first round.  Here are some fine examples.

  

Stay tuned for future adventures

The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry has been indicted on two felony counts of abusing his power.

If you are going to abuse your power, you really shouldn’t tell the public that you are going to do that.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Home Again

Back home from the trip to the big city. One of the interesting things we saw was this establishment which is obviously owned by a TeaNut goober.

I don’t think spelling is part of the home schooled curriculum.

So sad to hear about Robin Williams.  He was a very talented, funny man. When I was young I discovered Jonathan Winters and thought he was the funniest person alive and then Robin came along was even funnier and faster.  I will miss Mr. Williams.  He always made me laugh.

 

Here is another Jonathan who made me laugh. Jonathan (Sometimes I’m Happy but I am Never Gay) Saenz is head of a group called Texas Values.  They are an anti-gay group here in the Lone Star state and think homosexuality is the ultimate sin.  Jonathan’s belief is that gays want to put Christians in concentration camps. I have no idea where this bonehead got this idea but he evidently really believes it. Now here is the part that made me hoo haa with laughter.  His wife is divorcing him for another woman. Don’t you just love irony.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

On The Road Again

My sweetie and I are heading to the big city.  I am pretty sure our weekend will be filled with lots of “Gollllie, look at that building and where in the hell are we?”  We have been living in East Texas for almost three years now and I’m afraid our I.Q. has dropped a few points. Oh well, such is life. 

The bus is fueled up and ready to roll.

 I have the feeling there will be a number of points of interest along the way.

 

 

 We have been here a couple of times.

 

 Not to mention here.

We missed this exit.

But of course made this one.

We love the beach but I'm not sure about this one.

I think Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry lives down this road.

Or maybe it's this one.

By the way, this Friday will be the 40^th anniversary of Richard (I’m Not a Crook, I’m Just Real Stupid) Nixon flying off into oblivion after resigning from the Presidency in shame.  I understand the Republicans will have 18 and ½ minutes of silent prayer for Nixon’s secretary Rose Mary Woods and her trusty tape eraser.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Morning Quarterback

Why I am proud to be called a liberal minded person.

A new survey reports that 81% of the country thinks this Congress has been very un-productive, but here is the scary part. 3% think they have been very productive. I am pretty sure those 3% are east Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert constituents. How else can you explain an idiot like Louie getting elected five times?  

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Foolishness

The most do-nothing Congress in history is going to take a vacation break. I guess that doing nothing all day can really wear your ass out.

 

You have to give the “Just Say No” Republicans credit for consistency.  They said No to their own border bill.  Another fine example of your hard earned tax dollars at work just sitting there on their butt.

 

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am as Stupid as I Look) Gohmert says that all of those immigrant children coming across our borders are lying about Central America being a violent place. Louie says that he has been all through that area and Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas and Missouri are lovely places. 

 

 

I get really tired of people sending me the little signs and quotes of how things were so great in the good ole days. You know not all of the good ole days were so great. How about when the earth was flat and people were falling off the edge and stuff?

Best picture of the week.

And this bonehead wants to be President.

Stay tuned for future adventures.